Never thought of it that way, but you’re right, that’s probably why its so painful 
Today has been a little better. Still utterly exhausted though. I am so tired that I put the microwave on and forgot to put my food in it 
I’ve done loads of things like that, glad I’m not the only one 
I’ve been staying in mum’s with my dad whilst kids have been off school I’ve been staying in mum’s bedroom in her nice comfy bed and I’ve never felt better I’m sleeping and I feel really calm it’s nice to spend time with my dad as it was allways about mum before gotta take him to a couple of appointments tomorrow at two different hospitals so bit of a busy day tomorrow.
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So glad you have been able to find some calm time. I really long for that. I hope the appointments go ok tomorrow x
It seems like all my emotions are connected to my grief. When something positive/ excited happens I miss my dad even more and when something sad happens I miss my dad even more. I miss sharing things with him but maybe the main thing that makes me sad is that he is no longer here to see it himself.
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That is understandable, you want to share everything with him. I find that too, I just want to tell my mom everything. My heart aches for her.
It’s my day off today and I feel awful. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. But I had to take my daughter to her volunteering job.
Life is like I am wading through treacle right now
How is everyone?
I have felt rubbish the last couple of days. Can’t put my finger on it. Today is my day off work and I have slept on and off, yet I have so much that needs to be done.
In need to make a dr’s appointment but keep putting it off as my anxiety is bad. It’s just a cycle of overthinking all the time.
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Sorry to hear that, Becca. I haven’t been in a good place lately either, I keep getting these waves of panic, feeling trapped.
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If you need to sleep and you can, just go with it Becca as your body knows what it needs and its telling you 
Ive been unwell for 9 days now which also means ive not been able to see anyone during that time, so feeling massively under the weather and isolated. Plus feeling overwhelmed with everything to be done as im collecting all the info needed for probate, but have felt too unwell to do anything since last week. 
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@ulma sorry you have been feeling like that, I sometimes have those feelings. I hope you have someone to talk to. Sending love xx
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@Ally6 sounds really stressful. When a loved one dies there is so much you have to do that you just don’t want to do.
I complied lots of stuff to try and start a complaint about what happened to my mom. Got intouch with a solicitor and they weren’t interested. I just want someone to listen.
All I want to do is sleep. My family just don’t get it.
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The last several days have been so hard. The grief felt so raw and I tried to keep on going. But it only made me feel more sad and I felt I was going crazy. I have now given myself permission to be sad and just let the tears flow. It just feel so raw. Crying is the only thing that makes me feel better at the moment. I just hope that this phase will pass.
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I am in such a bad place. I am seeing my Dr in 3 weeks, but don’t know whether to go sooner. He can’t do much, just need to work through things with my therapist.
I have another group bereavement session next month. Got to wait for 1:1. Unless I can source some sooner.
Let it all out, allow yourself to grieve it’s ok not to be ok, your allowed to have those days, I felt guilty having those days but my grief counselor has been brilliant I’ve allowed myself to have those days without feeling guilty, I allow myself to have good days without feeling guilty I’m still grieving but it feels different going forward now I’ve allowed myself to do stuff now
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Surely there must be private bereavement counsellors, though I suppose they are expensive. Your doctor can only help with meds and such, of course. Sending a hug.
I already pay for counselling for my mental health so can’t afford to pay for any more. We do work on stuff, but mainly on keeping my mental health on an even keel.
I am already on 3 different medications for me depression and anxiety and it took along time to get the right. There is a little bit of wiggle room with one of the tablets but he is reluctant to increase it as he doesn’t want it to wipe me out.
Just got to ride the storm.
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You need a councillor that specialises in bereavement Becca that’s the only way your going to be able to deal with your loss head on did they say how long your wait is xx
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Thank you for your response @Lisa_L51 For me it is so important to read that others are feeling these things as well. I like to be a very independent person and now in my grief I have noticed I really need external validation that my feelings are ok and this is all part of it. I try to be kind to myself and let it be without adding extra pressure on myself.
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The waiting list is closed at the moment, but hoping it opens up next month. They said it is a 3 month wait.
I have another group session next month. I may look into other avenues for counselling.
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