Ah yes, I forgot you were already paying for the other counsellor, so it would be too much to pay for a second one. I really hope the 1:1 will be available for you soon. 
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I am going to look into options. I don’t want to give up my current counselling as it helps me a lot & we have worked through so much and she has been with me on this journey. So does help in many ways.
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Yeah I would as I really think you would benefit from one to one I think it’s disgusting that people have to wait that long they told me 12-14 week wait but waited about 10 weeks it was free and I’ve had about 12 sessions in all would of been 14 but councillor had to miss 2 it was from Liverpool bereavement service and the councillors are all proper councillors but do this voluntary that’s why it’s such a long wait xx
No that’s great that you have that connection with your councillor but think you would benefit if you now addressed your bereavement it really does help make a difference xx
I am going to tackle the bereavement stuff head on with my counsellor while I wait. I have talked to her obviously but I think I have been avoiding it. But i can’t as it is just eating away at me 
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I felt the same Becca it’s the only way I could move forward and I feel so much better for facing it head on and it really has made a difference I was ready to walk away from everything and everyone including my family and my kids I thought if my mum isn’t here I may as well not be I’ve come so far with the help of everyone on here especially you and my amazing counsellor who sat and listened to me every week for 1 hour and made me feel so safe and validated and along side my medication I’ve come out the other side I’m able to smile and laugh and I look in the mirror now and I can gradually see my self returning where once a stranger stood and all it took was for someone to let me talk who didn’t know me personally whilst they sat and listened to everything I had to say to let it all out what I’d been holding in for years xx I’m here for you Becca your not alone xx
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Thank you. It gives me some hope to hear how it has helped you. I could walk away from everything right now. I feel like I am just about holding on. I am glad I have you all here to help me. It is a great community
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Definitely your not alone we have all been there each in different ways but united in grief it’s been 25 weeks since I lost my mum, my best friend I was in a really dark place and never thought I would make it, but I have things have changed I’m no longer in that dark place, I went back to work 3 weeks ago on a phased return my counselling finishes on Tuesday and I’m doing ok I’m able to smile again I’m taking it one day at a time and the panic attacks I was having and the horrible flashbacks have stopped I’m on the right medication now and it’s really helped my mental state and I’ve learnt that’s it’s ok to not be ok I’ve accepted that this is my life now and I have to make the most of everyday with my girls and my dad for however long he has left as he’s 91 as that’s what my mum would want me to do xx
I was in that very place you are in and I stuck it out I forced myself to get up of a morning even though I didn’t want to each day I put one foot Infront of the other even though I wanted to walk away I didn’t you can do this Becca, you really can and if I can help I’m here just keep talking everyday even if you repeat yourself it doesn’t matter it’s ok xx
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I made it through work today. I am so exhausted. I had an event on today so haven’t stop since 7am. But I made it through the day which is the most important thing.
That song gets me every time. 3 months today since I lost my mum. Emotions are high today; been to her home with my sister and the tears were in abundance. Starting the process of clearing her belongings; which is really difficult as everything brings back a memory to either one of us. We have made a small start. Little steps
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That must be so hard @Kaz2910. My dad can’t face clearing out my mom’s stuff and I am with him on that. Haven’t even thought about it. I can’t imagine what it must feel like for you.
Sending you lots of love x
One little thing at a time it’s been nearly 5 months for me I havnt really sorted mums stuff yet but I’ve actually wore a few of her tops that fitted me when the time comes for me to start it will basically be a little at a time like one drawer so I’m not overwhelmed all at once as I’m in a good place at the moment and don’t want any relapse in my journey but I have been thinking about it this past 2 weeks x
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@Burgled this is so true: I have stuff going on and despite having people around me I feel lost and empty. I need my mom, I need to hear her voice. I feel like I am forgetting what she sounded like. It feels so painful without her.
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Exactly what it feels like I have a huge hole in my heart where my mum used to be xx nothing or no one will ever fill that hole xx
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Had an exhausting and frustrating exchange with a friend today about something, and she jumped on the fact that i used the phrase that “i was happy to put my trust” in a certain person and that i had used the word “happy” - oo, thats a good sign etc etc. I had to clarify it was a turn of phrase and NOT a description of my mood but even then she was looking for the positives in it. 
Just so tired of not actually being HEARD. And as time goes on i also feel that its harder to continue being honest with friends about how im feeling - like it was ok to still be a mess at 3 months, but come on you’re nearly at 6 months now!
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@Ally6 it’s hard when people assume. I hear you. It’s been nearly 8 months for me and everyday is hard. People at work think I am ok, but I just put a mask on at work. Some days all I want to do is cry.
Sending you the biggest hug 
x
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Oh, that sounds so annoying. 
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