So fed up with everything. I am sat doing my coursework, but i don’t see the point anymore. My week ahead at work is incredibly stressful and I just don’t have the energy for it.
Hugs. 
I understand it feels that way, after everything. Its good you’ve made your feelings lnown and I hope they will listen. Do you want to stay where you are now, or would it feel better to look elsewhere if nothing changes?
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I don’t know what I want to do to be honest. I just want to run away from it all.
I was out on a trip this morning and taking pictures. A couple of pupils noticed my mom on my screen saver and said how pretty she was. I was very touched, but inside wanted to say she’s dead 
I just relive those last moments everyday.
Nothing in life makes sense anymore 
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I am so fed up of the negativity from the other school I work at. My line manger is great in many ways, but very negative about the school & literally neve actions anything. I just don’t have the energy for I anymore.
I know that feeling. It’s so very hard to see the point or make sense of anything now. 
Taking it one day at a time is all well and good, but making it through the days with such heaviness inside, day after day after day, is a struggle. Wish I had magic words to help us all. 
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I feel wretched. Two months after we lost my dad, my brother-in-law conned my mum out of some money. Although we will obviously never use his services again, I am filled with disgust and sadness that someone could do that. I should be able to disassociate, and accept that he is just a vile and rotten individual, but I feel so sad that we have been subjected to that. It really is getting me down. In conning us, he has also put his family at risk. I feel physically sick.
Oh my goodness thats shocking and so very sad for your Mum. Is there no way of recovering the money? If he has provided services in a professional capacity ( eg building work) you could potentially publish a negative review or report him if he’s affiliated to any professional body. If hes doing that to his family theres a good chance others are being conned too.
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Thank you for your reply Ally 
. I believe that we could report him to Trading Standards. No, I don’t expect that the money is recoverable without interventions from outside. This person is a vile individual who has threatened me in front of my dad, before. Oh, and gave my sister a black eye. We really don’t want any retribution. 
Yes, I’m sure that he does do it to others. He’s done it to me in the past, and it was when I pulled him up on it that he threatened me in front of my dad. Looking back, it’s crazy that my family continued to use his services. I guess they wanted to believe the best. But apart from some good friends who would step in, we don’t have access to physical protection. I’m single, my mum is widowed, and my brother is disabled.
I was due to start counselling with Cruse this month, so have chased them, and this morning I rang work’s employee assistance programme, to try to get some counselling. How are you doing?
Ok, I can understand if hes threatening you dont want to put anyone at risk. What a nasty piece of work 
I hope you manage to get access to some counselling soon - dont mention to your EAP about the cruse counselling or they may say you’re not eligible. Even when i mentioned id been to a bereavement group they used that as a reason not to offer counselling! Ive had 2 one to one counselling sessions so far from my local hospice but im not finding them as helpful as id hoped - yet. May is a horrible month for me - 1st May is my Dads anniversary, ive just spent my first birthday last weekend without my mum and now tomorrow is my uncles funeral - at the same place mums funeral was 6 months ago. So im hoping its not going to be too triggering.
Sending hugs
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EAP are giving me 6 x 50-minute sessions, and I’ll be told when the first date is, within the next 10 working days. Kinda makes me think that I should have tried to access them when I was off work. But I had no idea that they would offer grief support. I assumed that they could only give general counselling. They asked at the end of the assessment call whether I was also aware of Cruse. I gave them a vague response.
Oh @Ally6 that is a lot to deal with, in a short space of time. Your uncle, is that your mum’s brother? I imagine that the funeral will be quite difficult.
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Yes, that was her last remaining sibling , so its incredibly sad. I shall wear some of mums jewellery tomorrow to take her with me to the service.
To offer 6 sessions is pretty good - the EAPs ive known have only offered 3! I hope you get your date through soon
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We have EAP at work but as I already pay for counselling I haven’t used them. I have started to go to a bereavement group for a 6 week course called the bereavement journey.
I prefer face to face therapy, I think EAP is online or phone. I may be wrong.
I am glad that @Burgled that you have got some counselling sorted
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Thank you @Becca_d
They offered phone, video or face to face but said that for the latter I’d have to be willing to travel 30 miles and that I’d likely have a longer wait, so I opted for video.
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Thank you. I took the day off, last minute, and have come to the beach. There are lots of good boys of the canine kind, here 
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Morning, just checking in with everyone to see how you are?
Grief is one big rollercoaster. I just feel like what’s the point. I didn’t want to get up today, but I had to go to work. I am in a weird place with work right now, don’t want to make any big decisions at the moment because I feel all over the place mentally.
Hi Becca- good to hear from you. Its been a difficult week for me, with my uncles funeral last week, and now im going to have to start facing the prospect of packing up mums things soon. It also would have been mum and dads 65th wedding anniversary this week so i will take some flowers to their grave, and look through their wedding album 
I also constantly feel “whats the point” the same as you - friends keep offering to do stuff with me but i have zero interest. I think whilst youre feeling unsettled its not the time to make big decisions about work -:even if your current job isnt giving you any satisfaction right now, it serves a useful purpose in terms of offering a familiar routine and paying the bills. Maybe just view it as a temporary stopgap until you’re in a clearer position what you’d like to do?
Hi @Ally6, sorry things are tough for you right now. So much for you to deal with. I hope that you can find ways to move forward. Sending hugs x
That’s so sad, @Ally6, that they weren’t physically here for their 65th wedding anniversary. That must have felt very strange. My parents’ 50th wedding anniversary was 3 months to the date, after my dad had the cardiac arrest. We would have had such a celebration. There would have been some cheekiness too, I’m sure, about my dad having to put up with so much (my mum did have a tendency to nag him).
How did your uncle’s funeral go? Were there any warm and tender moments, or was it just a terrible reminder of how agonising your losses are?