Hi Deb I dont think you do understand until it happens to you I know I never understood how painful and difficult it was to lose someone like your husband. I thought it was bad when my parents died but this is something else entirely .
4 Likes
Yeh exactly. My neighbour was trying to compare it to her mother passing today … i thought - but didn’t say - its nothing like losing a parent. You love your parents but youre not in love with them are you 
it is the hardest loss ive ever experienced anyway ! When my step mum passed away it was my husband i leant on for support and love xx
4 Likes
dear lost lil, i feel the same . hubby worked hard all his life. we saved hard…paid for our own home…perfect marriage …totally in love …all set to enjoy life… then bang he dies…wow i think i will be in shock for the rest of my life…everythings over…devastation…all so cruel …my thoughts and love go out to you xx we have to find strength somewhere but its terribly hard take care x
3 Likes
Hi Deb5
You said it
Losing our soulmate like you say we have no one to lean on for support and unconditional love and yes total utter devastation
Xx
2 Likes
@RussellE
I had that exact same thing today. What a beautiful day but felt so sad that my partner can not enjoy it and neither can I. There is a raw edge to everything now. I keep thinking certain things, like sunny days, will make me feel better but they don’t.
I’m also 57 and wonder what’s next for me and why have I been thrown on yet another path in life. I liked the path I was on and feel quite resentful at times.
I also have pangs of hope for the future, it doesn’t last long but it is there. Hopefully that pang will get bigger one day.
Ali
4 Likes
I’m so sorry you are in the same situation 
I was looking out at the garden earlier thinking how hard he worked on it, we loved spending time in the garden with a bottle of wine on a sunny summers Saturday evening, I’m going to miss that so much this year
The house just isn’t a home without him.
3 Likes
That’s it isnt it … it juat feels like a house - not a home 
xx
4 Likes
That is so very true the heart has been taken out of the home 
1 Like
You’re so right @LostLil there’s no atmospere that made it a home. It is just a house now. I so loved our ‘home’ but now it has no soul. By the way, my husband also spent so much time on our garden but it doesn’t look anything like he had it now. I will have to muster up the courage to get out there and get it looking nice again. Problem is, it’s so big and I’m not.x
4 Likes
Oddly I still feel a lot less lost at home than I do in anyone else’s house. I still feel close to him here. I hope that never changes 
It will never feel the same without him obviously, I miss him terribly 
1 Like
@Deb5 I feel that my son understands what I am going through as he is 22 and was with his dad when he died and they were best friends. My son never went to university and all his friends did so spent a lot of time with his dad and did lots together. My husband taught my son to drive and he came on holiday with us often. My son absolutely misses his dad and is broken as no other family really. He said dad will never be proud of me as won’t see me get married or have grandchildren. Breaks my heart.
Definitely different losing a older parent as they have lived there lives and adcieved their mile stones in their lives. Also I chose my husband and shared my bed with him which I never did with my parents. Life is so unfair and cruel 
4 Likes
Go get a gardener in ! Treat yourself xx
2 Likes
Thats good hazel about your son my kids are grown up and left home many years ago and two of them have families … they just been difficult since funeral. I wanted to do it exactly how i wanted because i knew it was last thing i could do for him and it was very beautiful and very well attended. What they didn’t seem to understand after funeral is i was highly emotional and very angry my husband had gone and left me alone. They still got their partners and their lives. My partner has gone and my life changed forever. They dont seem to have any empathy for that ! Im not sure why - its just caused a big rift … maybe they just dont want the responsibility of looking after their mum ? X
3 Likes
Yeh i agree i feel closest to my husband in our house too ! But it has just lost the cosiness i had when my husband was here ! He made me feel so secure and content really - even when we weren’t doing anything. Just his presence was so huge and i didnt even realise that until he was no longer here
5 Likes
I know exactly what you mean. Oh what I’d give just to have a lie down on the sofa together and try finding some rubbish to watch on Netflix and end up falling asleep cwtched in. He’d always say watch the film, don’t fall asleep, usually I’d be so warm and comfy with a duvet over us that I’d be gone in five minutes most of the time 
4 Likes
Same here @LostLil . He always joked that i’d never see the end of a film we’d start to watch, i just used to get so comfy on the couch with him. Its so heart breakin that ill never get to do that again xx
4 Likes
Hi All
Yes life now is just horrendous
I function
Get up
Go to bed
No one home if I go out
No phone cal to from Paul to see how I’m doing or tell me something he’d forgot to tell me
Nothing planned to look forward to
No togetherness
Just me
A huge void in my heart I feel so alone
No one gets that
Folks here do…… thank you all for being here
Xx
6 Likes
Why don’t people get it though ? Are they a bit thick ? I just wonder sometimes if the world just hasnt got time for people who grieve ? Well they can bog off far as im concerned cos i will grieve and i will remember him and the love he gave me ! And i don’t care if it doesnt fit in with other peoples lives… People are just callous i think … i really do ;(
2 Likes
Morning Lonely and Debs
Thank you both for your reply you are both so so right
Didn’t the Queen say
The price of grief is true love or something like that
Your right our utter grief is the price we pay for being so loved and vice versa with our soulmate
Sorry clumsy sentence but you know what I mean
Xx
3 Likes
That’s definitely one of the things I miss the most. Sometimes it would be him to fall asleep first, I’d never wake him up though, I was usually so cormfy I’d just leave him be
2 Likes