@Lonely I lost my husband at the age of 52 suddenly and I am 57. we could of had many years to come. When others lose their husbands eventually they are most probably going to be in their late seventies/eighties and would of had a whole life together with many memories. I feel that they never know how I feel losing a husband so young. Sorry if I sound bitter and mean and I know everyone grief is unique to them. Just miss my husband so much and our future plans we had xx
6 Likes
Hi @Deb5 yes must be very hard for you not having your family support. Life is so unfair and cruel. Big hugs xx
3 Likes
I get where you are coming from, I feel exactly the same. I think 70 is a good age to live to tbh. 52 is too young for your husband to go. Wouldn’t it be great if we were all guaranteed 70 years instead of some people dying in childhood and others plodding on to be a hundred 
1 Like
Yes I understand that. It just feels so unfair that children die before they have even lived. Since my OH died there’s been a few deaths around the area I live. One girl was just 24, absolutely tragic 
Most of them were in their 70s or 80s though and I can’t help but feel that they lived to be a good age. Obviously for the people left behind I understand that it wouldn’t matter if they were 90 you still wouldn’t be ready to lose them but at 70 or 80 you’ve had a decent amount of years on this earth and had the chance to retire, take it easy, travel places etc.
1 Like
Yeh the queen said : grief is the price we pay for love 
xx
3 Likes
@Lonely Thank you for your kind words…must of been so hard for your mum to lose your dad at a young age. I’m just struggling every day. Never got closer or answers. Haven’t received any signs from John either and has been 4 months. Big hugs xx
2 Likes
Thanks hazel it is ;( my mum is probably the best but my children ! Wow ! They just been horrendous … 
i know my husband would be so angry cos he told them to look after me ! Hugs back to you ! Xx
1 Like
I agree my husband was only 60 and im so mad cos my parents still alive and it doesnt seem fair ! What a life xx
2 Likes
@Deb5 yes know what you mean as my parents are still alive in their mid eighties. My mum hasn’t been supportive… she never wants to speak about her son in law and immediately changes the subject as soon as I mention my husband. I told my mum I miss my husband and she said that she knows because I tell her every time and that I don’t need to keep telling her in a harsh manner. Wish my mum went instead of my lovely husband as he would be there for me if my mum had passed away. She never even invited us over for Easter though she lives in the same road. I don’t bother going to see her now as just talks about herself and her appointment’s.
2 Likes
Oh dear hazel that’s harsh ! Me with my kids - you with your mum ! I dunno people ! I dont get why people have to be so mean when we are already suffering xx
2 Likes
Hi All /Hazel
Paul was 68 hadn’t retired we had so much to look forward to
Sadly didn’t happen
Hazel my mum like yours doesn’t mention Paul and early on after he passed away she said
I lost your Dad and had to get on with it and you’ll have to do the same ……
Doesn’t mention his name and never asks how I’m doing
Maybe cruel to be kind I just don’t know
I still go to see her…… simple reason I don’t want my brother and his family to throw it back in my face
But it’s so so hard
Xx
2 Likes
Aw thats a shame im not sure howuchy mum lokes me talking about it either tbh but she has been more supportive than my kids ! Im sick of all this "let’s not talk about it " rubbish ! Course we want to talk about our loved ones !! They were a huge part of our lives !!! Xx
2 Likes
Hi @Hazel.1966, I know exactly what you mean about losing your soulmate in your fifties. My husband was only 57 and me 53,when he was taken away suddenly from me and our two children who are in their 20s and thankfully still living with me. This year in August my darling C would have celebrated his 60th birthday. I have the same problem, my parents are both in their eighties but never mention their one and only son-in-law (I’m an only child) and I’ve got to the stage that I just don’t bother talking about my feelings with them, there’s no point, no empathy at all, how can there be? How could they possibly understand? The culture in this country (Italy) doesn’t really encourage grieving people to open up and talk, it’s all “hush hush, keep your feelings to yourself, put on a brave face and get on with it”. They haven’t got a clue what it’s like to lose your life partner prematurely, right in the middle of your life together! We weren’t finished yet, we had a life, I can’t have it back without him.
1 Like
Very bizarre all this not mentioning our partners ! You cant just forget them can u ? When they were a huge part of your life !! X
2 Likes
Absolutely I feel guilty every second of the day and the guilt I have from not contacting my mother and 2 brothers more will haunt me forever
3 Likes
How can they possibly understand ? Because they’re your parents ! And how about how you feel ? Pretty rubbish i suspect? I dont understand all this " lets not tslk about it " its just stupud ! Its not just their generation its my kids generation too !!
1 Like
@Hazel.1966 I fully understand. My wife was 50 when she died last year, I’m now 51. She often told me that she felt robbed our future and I also feel robbed of our life together.
2 Likes
@Deb5 I know I get far more support from my friends then my mum. Like they say you can choose your love ones and friends but not your family. I will keep talking about my husband as want to keep his memory alive. Not his fault that he was taken early from this world 
2 Likes
@Timbo yes life is so unfair and cruel. We have been robbed of our future plans and dreams. Big hugs xx
3 Likes
@Solost yes it is very hard when your parents especially my mum doesn’t want to speak about her only son in law who she seem to adore. 2 days after he died she told me to pull myself together and not to cry in front of my son. I know this sounds hard but least I won’t feel the pain of losing my mum when she goes like I do with my lovely husband…big hugs xx
3 Likes