@Lonely it is amazing that you get signs from your love one. My husband died suddenly at Christmas at the age of 53. I don’t think that he will give me any signs as I let him down so most probably angry with me. Have you ever asked your love ones where are they now? I’m hoping my husband isn’t in limbo as such. X
Don’t ever think that he wouldn’t send you a sign because he was angry with you! There are loads of us on here who haven’t had any signs from our loved ones and I know for a fact my OH would have sent myself and his family a sign if there was any way he could. Nobody knows if there really is anything after death, if your husband could send you a sign I’m sure he would have x
It was the alan Jackson version that sue loved. I hadn’t heard of it until sue played it on YouTube. Been listening to a lot of alan Jackson songs especially two of them the older i get and remember when .going to listen to liz Anderson now
My family was very close to a lady, my honorary aunt, who had “the gift”. She never ever made money from it. Her eyes were deep and searching and she couldn’t help herself seeing and saying things. 7 days before my Dad died, my parents visited her “Nearer my God to Thee” she said to my Dad. He smiled as the words meant nothing. She said there was a handout around him and a big 7. Then she said she was being given this and it was for me “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine”.
7 days later he died at 70, funeral on the 7th. Handout was will. Reassuring words for me at my father’s sudden death from that hymn “I in my Saviour am happy and blessed” …
There were so many other stories ….
Hi Sheila
Things have quietened down now but in that first year I was constantly having things happen around the house. Radios, alarms knocking, things falling over and going missing. I think the plates turning to another direction on the high shelf was one of the weirdest. A spiritualist friend explained a lot of things to me but did say that Brian would leave me when I was ready. I’m not so sure about that but he did come to me at the end of the first year and pushed me away and said I couldn’t go with him.
On this forum we see a lot of people regretting that they couldn’t say goodbye. I personally can’t understand this as although I was caring for my husband single handed in his last months I never once wanted to say goodbye. I refused to believe that he was going to totally leave me although neither of us had ever discussed the subject. I knew I was going to lose him but talked to him daily about the things we would do when he was better. Perhaps this is why I have had so many sightings of him. I never said goodbye and never will.
Pat
xxx
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I’ve been having signs over the last few days. I keep feeling a touch on my hair. I was watching a programme yesterday about someone who died and it was the same date and condition of my love. I’ve been asking for a specific sign of something we used to joke about, and this morning an old FB post came up from 10 years ago with his actual comment mentioning that very thing. I’ve also seen lots of white feathers. Now - do I take these and accept them or am I just kidding myself and they are coincidences? I so want to believe they are from him. I’ve thought of something else to ‘test’ him and I know that even if I do get that affirmation, half of me won’t believe it!! I’m still in bits 3 months down the line and although to be honest, I am having more better days, the tears are always bubbling under the surface. Still can’t believe it is real xx
@Pattidot I often say that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I went to work on the Saturday and I got a phone call from my son to say that his dad had collapsed. Time I got home my husband had died. He was 53.
I have got no closure and no answers. Even though I wouldn’t wanted to say goodbye I would of wanted to be with him before he died. If I knew that terrible day that I would never see him again I would of told him how much I loved him and appreciate him and loads of other stuff which I didn’t get the chance to say. X
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Hi Hazel
I do understand that need to say goodbye but I have never felt this. However my situation was a bit different as I was caring for my husband and had plenty of time to tell him how much I loved him. He even questioned why I kept saying this to him. I can so understand you wanting to be with him and now you are left in limbo land and it would have broken my heart.
I have however lost all other close members of my family very suddenly and it has simply been a phone call to let me know.
Take care
Pat
xx
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Hi pat
I guess caring for your husband knowing that he was going to die must of been difficult for you both. Lots of people including my doctor said for my husband he went the best way. I do hope he didn’t suffer and wasn’t scared. I do disagree. I’m sure he would of wanted to live longer and would of made sure that my son and I was going to be ok. Very sad both ways Xx
Hi Hazel
Your right it is sad and it is incredibly difficult knowing they are going to leave you and having to watch their suffering but my father died young, very suddenly sat in his armchair. It was so peaceful that my mother who was sitting next to him had no idea he had gone. My husband died in terrible pain and suffered terribly. He was the nicest man and I felt he didn’t deserve such a terrible death. I wished he could have gone like my father. No pain, and no fear. I remember saying to his GP that if he was a dog I could stop his pain and I certainly didn’t want to lose him.
I’m sure all those we lose want to live longer and I know my husband fought hard for his life,
Take care
Pat
xx
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Hi Sheila
My darling husband was also given morphine but he was at home. It never stopped his pain and I doubt his end was peaceful but we was together and I was with him as he breathed his last. As it was the middle of the night we was alone and I can remember the peace that came over his face. I am convinced he was making contact from that moment though.
Pat
xx
Hi Pattidot,
For me personally, about not saying goodbye, it was to acknowledge that his physical presence had left. I have had signs which lets me know he will always be around so in that sense, like you I will never say goodbye x
I am sooo happy for you. I also asked my dad for a sign as I really wasn’t coping. I walked into the garden and there in front of me a feather slowly fell in front of me I put my hand out and caught it, I said thanks dad and felt a relief. Also a really skinny Robin visited my garden ( my dad lost a lot of weight before he died) and I believe it was him, he’s fattened up now. When me and mum , me and brother are together we see white feathers. One last thing that gives me hope and relief is I looked out my window and I could only describe it as a fog, haze, white mist slowly moving over the shed roof then disappearing. I ran out as I thought it was smoke and a fire but there was nothing. I believe it was dad whether his soul I don’t know but it was strange and cannot be explained. I seek solace in that. It’s been 5 weeks since he passed now and one week since funeral. Miss him so much but know he is all around me x
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Thank you. I still consider myself married as i told a now ex friend of mine and sues when she said why don’t we try to make a go of things when we both told her that sue was terminal. Never spoken to her again. Dave my stepson is fuming and so is my daughter x
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I also class myself as married. Im 16 months in now and wouldnt think of using any other term. I was married to him for 53 years and always will be
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I so feel for you Sheila and relate only too well. My husband passed away 8 weeks ago from metastatic prostrate cancer. On the evening he passed, i just knew that morning when I woke up. I visited him as usual after id finished work and gently woke him to let him know I was there. He was naked on the bed as the tumours on his spine caused severe paralysis, it was impossible to even get a t-shirt over his head. I was angry that the nurses hadnt even out a sheet over him to cover his dignity as his door was propped open too. His first words were ‘I havent eaten all day, im in so much pain, all over’ He looked so confused. He was coughing up bloodied slime and was very distressed. Within seconds, i asked for a nurse to administer pain relief immediately which she did, a morphine injection in his stomach. I climbed into his hospital bed with him, lay next to him and cuddled him. He dozed off for a while then woke up, started panicking and saying he couldn’t breathe. He begain to point his arm up towards the ceiling. I tried to reassure him, told him not to be afraid, that his loved ones in heaven were waiting to be reunited with him. Within less than a minute, he was gurgling, took 2 last breaths and he was gone, died in my arms. I think i would come to terms with his loss better if he’d died peacefully of old age. I am haunted every moment of every day of the horrific ending he endured, im struggling so hard that he suffered. Mick never realised how sick he was, even when the weight dropped off of him rapidly and he was skin and bone. Id convinced him he was getting better, that it was the side effects of the meds that was making him unwell and he believed me to the point he convinced our friends who visited him that he was coming home. For that, i am thankful. I needed him to have something good to hope for. Id known that his prognisis was a few weeks at best and protected him from that but he was bluntly and cruelly told by a stroppy consultant. It was very difficult. We talked about going on holiday when he was better, he told me the consultant was talking rubbish, that he had years ahead of him. I dont know whether he was in denial or actually believed it but I encouraged him to believe that he had years ahead of him and we made plans for the future ‘when he came home’ In the end, he realised he wouldnt be coming home and chose a hospice. I refused to allow him to be transferred, the journey in an ambulance would have killed him on the way there. That was scheduled on the Monday, he died the Friday night before Monday came. I was grateful for a kind nurse who covered my back and supported my wishes for my beautiful Mick when others tried to override HIS wishes and me honouring his wishes or making the right decisions in his best interests when he was unable to. So much to fight for, deal with and cope with, its the last act of love we can give them. Sending healing love and thoughts into you heart Sheila and to all of you who are feeling the intense pain of losing our loved ones. This group of beautiful souls mourning our losses yet still supporting others through our own grief is a blessing xxx
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Hi, I’m just lying in bed feeling so sad and lonely , feeling worse today than normal, I was just reading through the posts , and thinking I wasn’t with my husband when he died ,but I wouldn’t of wanted to say goodbye to him , I will never say goodbye to him , he is just waiting for me not far away . I put radio on and the song we played at the end of his funeral came on , it’s not a song played often , I’m sure that is a sign from him . All xtake carex
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I refuse to use the word widower myself as well.i am still married and always will be. Made a decision a few weeks ago that I don’t want anyone else .no one can ever replace my gorgeous fantastic wife sue whatsoever xx
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She looks lovely @Martyn2 life is so unfair and cruel. I could never replace my funny, hard working handsome husband either. I wish I told him this and didn’t take him for granted. I thought we had another 25/30 years together 
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