Aww bless you hun, grief is never easy but sometimes it is just too hard.
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I feel for you Debs18 and the hurt is real and raw , I am 3 weeks into my grieving I take relief hour by hour , I cry all the time our home is now a house . Someone said to love a person like we did it eventually comes with this hurt , but I consider myself very lucky to have loved the beautiful soulmate I could of wished for .
My thoughts are with you x
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You have to be strong enough to carry on believe things gonna be fine again 
I try every day but to day I have gone backwards been a really bad day crying all the time she is never out of my mind if it was not for our three dogs I think I would just would have given up by now I just get so down.
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My partner passed away just under 4 weeks ago.
I just feel I’m existing.
I’m walking the dog, then coming home and just watching tv. Not really paying attention.
I count down to 9pm, then take myself off to bed.
I know it’s early days but life is so lonely when you lose the person you spent everyday with, even when you have friends and family checking on you.
I miss her like crazy.
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Bless you hun, I am struggling today too. Sending a virtual hug 
we all need a hug, I know I do. Surround yourself with the love from your dogs, I have a cat, who unfortunately isn’t a hugger but I can see even she is missing my husband. Thinking of you x
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I feel your pain 
I lost my husband 10 days ago and it is so unreal. It is so raw and painful, my heart knows that he has gone but my head wants to believe that he is still in hospital, recovering. I am glad of groups like this though, where we can support each other and we can write about our pain in safety. Thinking of you x
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I had my wife remembrance service today and scattering of her ashes with my family around me .
I picked a lovely magnolia tree as my tears fell , when she passed away I didn’t think I would survive the day out the pain was too much .
But it’s 3 weeks and without my family I definitely wouldn’t of , then I remember I am also a Dad and a Grandad and they love and need me to as they feel my heartbreak.xx
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I have had a horrible day just not believing he has gone and feeling Panic. I just can’t see how I can carry on alone even though I know I have to as there isn’t a choice. It’s is such a desolate lonely place to be. Hugs to anyone feeling sad today xx
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Thank you i just hope tomorrow is a better day I have lost all interest in everything we would talk all the time the dogs are here but they don’t talk can not be bothered with watching Tv listening to u tube music all the songs we like not easy
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Unfortunately I don’t know when I can have a funeral for my husband, he is with the coroner. He died after an operation, it was a major one but not life saving and we were told the risk was low, so I need to know why I am mourning my soulmate, my world. But as devastated as I am, I feel so sorry for my husband, he went into hospital for an operation and never came out 
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This is all so sad to read, all of us suffering so much on a Saturday night. My man died on 1st February and I’m finding it so hard to carry on. If I hadn’t a daughter, I would also be dead, but to carry on waking up every day is my only choice. For him to die suddenly and me not saying goodbye or even kissing him when he left the house will be forever my guilt. He didnt want to die and didn’t expect to, but what a shock to us all that are left behind. I can’t see a future for myself, nobody could ever love me as much as did.
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@SadGirlfriend just thinking the same myself. My husband left the house walking, walked into the ambulance and was taken to the local hospital for blood tests on Christmas Eve after having chest pains which went away. We never said goodbye properly because the plan was I was going to go and pick him up a few hours later. He never came home, he died in A&E after being there for 6 hours with no treatment.
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I am so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband 2 months ago .I just take day by day , I miss my amazing husband who fought so hard to stay with me ,but he had terminal cancer .It is lonely with out him .He died at home ,that was his wish ,My thoughts are with you at this sad time.
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I was so grumpy with him because I wasn’t sleeping properly. I went round to his to sort out his van insurance and I was annoyed because he couldn’t do it himself online. He crouched down and said goodbye to my dog, they loved each other so much, then he walked out saying he’d see me within 15 minutes so we could have lunch together. Why didn’t I throw my arms around him and tell him that I loved him ? A friend told me that he knew, because I’d kissed him on so many other occasions but I still feel so bad.
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My partner of twenty eight years died three years ago from cancer, she was sixty five. It was second time round for both of us. I used this group a huge amount when I first lost her because I just couldn’t cope .I see from most of the comments that its all very recent for many of you. People will tell you that it gets easier with time ,you won’t believe them as I didn’t , but it does. You’ll never forget ,you’ll always have good and bad days as I still do. Believe me I still cry at times when something reminds me of her but you get though it. I’m retired and live alone now so have a great deal of time to think but regardless of how you feel now you will get though it, I promise you. Losing a partner is nothing like losing a parent or sibling, both are tragic but not the same. Best wishes to you all. Life will go on .I promise.
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Thank you, Peterj, for responding. I agree, losing a lover is something else entirely. I’ve lost people before but this is on another scale. Life is going on, we get up each day and go to bed at the end of it, but the ups and downs during the daylight hours are exhausting. I feel that I’m avoiding contacting friends as I’m not good company, I feel that I’m draining them, so I wait til they call me when they can cope with my misery.
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@Mattg22 6 weeks now for me and doing exactly the same. Evenings are the worse so of to bed early then awake at 4. Thank you @peterj for your post I’m sure eventually I’ll settle into this new life.
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Dont worry about your friends getting fed up with you. If they are true friends they won’t mind. This is the time you need them. I am fortunate to have two sisters who are both recently widowed and we know how important it is to talk. So pick up the phone when youre feeling lonely in the evenings, or any time. I also have good neighbours who will knock on my door to make sure i’m ok and invite me for a neal or a coffee. I’ve just lost my second husband so i’ve been here before. I also lost a daughter to Cancer at age 40 in 2019. . Its not nice but it does get better i promise you. Be kind to yourself and keep up the posituve thinking
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