Hev57,
So sorry for your loss ,know how you feel lost my husband October 2022 had a cardiac arrest whist driving ,And i felt i was in a bad nightmare ,same here cannot touch my husband clothes they are still in his wardrobe ,
I try to keep myself occupied ,and i am a carer for my mother,
Take care Big hugs ,look after yourself
Xx
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Hi everyone. The fact that you are all posting on here to get the support that you need is a very good sign. I lost my husband on 10th November ‘22. It was very sudden and very unexpected. The disbelief still lingers but then the realisation that it’s permanent suddenly hits me and that’s when I break down. However, I can honestly say that I’m functioning better than I was in the early days and weeks. I have a large very supportive family that I wouldn’t have survived without. I believe in the early days you should do what you like, when you like. If you want to eat, eat or sleep or watch endless telly or stare at a wall and eat chocolate. My family and can have fun now and talk about how Dad would have laughed at such and such. My husband was very big in Grassroots football in Norfolk and Suffolk. He was also a lecturer at our local college. He helped so many people and his funeral was enormous including bigwigs from the FA. I’m so proud to be his wife. Wishing you all love and strength. Keep reading and posting. Jean x.
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I am so aorry for your loss i lost my partner december 2021 the loss is unberable and having peope around u nit knowing what to day or how your are feeling us unbearable
My thoughts are with u
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@Nicki21 I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief has no timetable and the inner loneliness when you have lost your other half is a void that cannot be filled. As others have pointed out the phrase other half is not used for nothing. Only those who experience it can truly understand. Being surrounded by people and feeling alone is perhaps one comment that is universal here. Post in conversations as you wish and I’m sure you will find empathy and support. You can say what you feel here. Hugs
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Bless you. It does get easier but after 17 months I still can’t bear the quiet house. It’s so hard to carry on keeping busy helps. I help at the local food bank a couple of times a week which makes me feel good.
But this isn’t the life I expected l, my wife was four years younger than me and I always thought I would be first.
Miss her the same as the day she passed. You’re stronger than you think. I feel your pain best of wishes to you. Xx
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Thank you for sharing your feelings xx
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@Tommy104, Yes the quietness of the house is painful, and the thought of a new life, as you say , one that was not expected makes me feel scared and worried/anxious. I know it’s very early days for me, funeral still to get through but it’s like there’s a huge mountain in front me that I have no idea how to climb. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Same to you. Take care.
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Sending hugs Hev. I lost my husband on Jan 4th 2022. He had been very ill and I had months to prepare for the inevitable moment, during which time he told me to live life to the full. He was the love of my life for 48 happy years. All the firsts have passed and I have managed to establish a new normal, in that I dcon’t feel the need to ‘escape’ the house every day and am ok with my own company. I don’t think you ever ‘get over it’ but it is possible to enjoy life again and be thankful that you had the happiness you enjoyed. Some people never experience true long love. I recently went on a Northern Lights cruise with a friend, something he would have loved to have done. They hadn’t been showing for a while but I got to see them on the first three nights. As I looked at them I felt he had engineered it for me!! The one thing I have not yet managed to do is listen to the CDs he made. Not sure if I can cope with hearing his voice and his playing again. My friend who lost her musician partner of 25 years two months after my husband died assures me they will bring me comfort. It will be his birthday on Monday and I intend to play them (hopefully). Be easy on yourself Hev and just take each day as it comes.
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Thank you Mike75 , thank you for sharing with me.
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Oh dear, you must be shattered, I have been in a very similar place since last November when my George had a cardiac arrest. My daughter has been my saviour, she has been by my side helping me to get through all the official stuff, we cry together and share precious memories. I have tried to keep to our daily routine, and walk our favourite walks, I talk to George all the time, after 54 years together it feels normal. you must do exactly what you feel is right for you.!!
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@Hev5
Dear Hev, i am so sad for you and am sending you big hugs.
I lost my lovely husband on Oct 28th 2022. I relate to what you are saying, as does everyone of us on this site. If this is any help, the pain does ease little by little. It will never go away but you learn to cope better.
I am begining to feel grateful for the 43 years I had with him. Don’t get me wrong, some days the pain is back as bad as ever. I still cry every day and feel very vunerable. Someone told me to be kind to myself and only think of one day at a time. I felt a bit cross st the time but now I see what good advice it was for me.
Sending strength to you xx
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@Alir I lost my wife of 47 years on 28th October and what you say resonates. I was given the same advice and it has been useful. Hugs and support.
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@Mike75
Oh Mike, I am so sorry. People tell me that it’s still early days or my feelings are very raw. I honestly don’t think that unless you are living in the situation you know what it is like, you can only imagine.
I like to think that I am making my husband proud of me with the decisions I am making but I am never sure. Just wish I could turn the clock back to when he was here.
One of his nieces said to me that I should live my life for the both of us, if only it was that easy, she meant well though.
Sending strength and hugs xx
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@Alir I think that the fact you are trying will be enough to make your dear husband proud. The family was the centre of my wife’s life and to honour her I am trying to do the best thing for them. They might groan at our efforts but smile in appreciation that we are making them. Hugs xx
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Like many on this page, I sadly lost my husband aged 59 years last July suddenly, he also
Was very fit, never smoked lead the so called healthy life. I can only give you my experience during this very short time. I go through each day as it comes, sometimes very dark, other days sunshine. Go with whatever life gives you good and bad. I did find a holiday with my friend who is also widowed was very helpful. You sink or swim through grief, I am floating at the moment., we cannot change what has happened albeit I feel robbed of my life, but I am determined to live a life, which I know my husband would want me to do.
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Thankyou. It’s so difficult isn’t it and so painful. I miss him terribly. Like you say I just have to see how each day goes but I am sinking at the moment. x
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Which county do you live ?
Portsmouth Hampshire
It does get better or Rather, we get better at living with the grief. I sometimes manage a whole day without tears. Other people help, just their presence helps me cope, not the platitudes just their presence. I’ve joined a craft group and learnt to spin and use my bus pass to full effect. It’s still very recent for you, you’ll grow a little stronger every day. It may not feel like it but it will happen. Love and blessings
Nigel xx
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