Jantee i lost my partner 7 weeks ago. It is so hard isn’t it. I have the same feelings of anxiety and hopelessness and just wish they would go and i can feel like my old self. However i know this is going to take time. I have spent part of Christmas with my family and now i feel lost again. Im trying to just get on with things but i cant that longing for my partner to be here with me is overwhelming. I look at his photo and his ashes and know what i wish for is never going to happen and it hurts so much.
I am so glad i have this forum to know i am not alone and others understand what i am experiencing.
Sending lots of love 
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Hi @ Sue338
So sorry about your loss of your partner.
7 weeks is very early for you.
I am 7 months into this journey and after 35 years together somedays feel so down and upset. It has been worse over the Christmas period and now new year.
I try to treat each day as just another day because that is what it is now another day same as the one before
I do hope 
it is easier to deal with.
Anyway everyone on this forum is going through same as we are some further down the line some very recent like yourself.
You are not alone please keep posting and someone here will listen and answer you.
Talking texting all helps us with the process of losing someone special.
Take care
Lynne x
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Hi Lynne
Thank you so much just knowing that i am not alone and someone will listen and answer me.
I am trying so hard to get through the days and fill my days with doing something.
I am planning to go back to work on the 8th to try and get some routine in my life.
Sending love
Sue x
Hi @Sue338
Going back to work next January how do you feel about that. I know you want to have people around you and fill your days but dont rush going back.
I am 7 months into this and i dont work now retired this year. I try to keep my days busy walking group choir book club and theatre group with U3A group.
I used to volunteer with MacMillan but that stopped when my husband died and i was unable to help grieving family when i was still grieving myself.
Hope next year to get back as it means contact with people and i think we all need that even more so now.
I find the nights and weekends hardest as they are quiet and lonely without our partners.
Anyway look after yourself and hope you have supportive friends and family to help you get through these times
Take care
Lynne Xx
@Galaxy75 with going back to work i am hopefully going to go back just morning to start with. I work at a school and im hoping being with the children will help me. I also have a good friend i work with who lost her partner coming up to 2 years ago and has been very supportive which I am truly thankful for.
I agree with the nights and weekends are the worst and that is when i think i need to look at finding something to keep me busy.
Take care and thank you for listening to me. X
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Hi there, know what you mean re feeling lost. I have been sorting stuff out today which kept me pretty busy. I have to find something to fill the day. Its nice to read what other people are going through as I dont always want to tell my children. Thanks for understanding and hope you have a good day yourself. sending hugs xx
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@jantee i have took my Christmas tree down and put stuff away then cleaned up which has occupied my time and tomorrow i plan to go and do my shopping. I know its not much but it has and will tomorrow fill my time.
Lots of love
I’m looking at volunteering in new year , loads of things out there to keep us busy in new year , lost my mum 5,weeks ago Christmas wasn’t easy , not looking forward to new year’s either , never a big fan of it , hopefully we can all reset our thoughts for the new year , keep our chins up , look forwards that’s all we can do
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Take care 
X
Hiya, I plan to take the tree down next week, my daughter is coming over so will be nice to have some company. Have a good day today xx Love xx
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Hi @ jantee. That will be so lovely to have your daughter coming over and you will have some company.
I have been invited to my son and partner for a curry on new years eve which will be nice.
I hope you have a good time with your daughter xx
Hi Sue,
Thanks looking forward to seeing her. Have a lovely time with your son and partner, take care now xx
I’m
so sorry for your grief . It sounds like you are going through the same torture as me and your words could be mine so I know how you feel and wish you the strength to get through each day .
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Thank you… i dont know how i an doing it as i want too give up mist days… but i suppose your body just goes into survivor mode. Xx
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Hi, I understand completely. My feelings are exactly the same and I know your pain. I lost my wonderful wife Val on day before Christmas 2020 after a grueling 8 months battle with throat cancer, so now Christmas holds no joys whatsoever…I, like you just want it gone, so I can try to regain some normality, tho nothing is normal anymore. I;ve had counselling, tried a few anti depressants and popped in on the odd coffee morning here and there, but its not the same. Shortly after losing Val I then lost my step dad and inherited his house. At first I found everything so overwhelming and too much to deal with and tried to sell the house. It didnt sell so I decided to renovate it and am still at it. In a strange way it gave me a purpose again, somewhere to go, something to take my mind off things, but as soon as I return home I go to pieces, I sense a heavy weight overcoming me as soon as I walk in…the house is just soulless But I’m so lonely, sometimes just sit and stare into space with tears streaming down my face and calling out . People who havent been thru this just dont understand, we’ve all lost parents. grandparents and aunts & uncles etc which we all accept but losing your partner, your soul mate, your one and only is a totally different thing completely. We did everything together, with each other and for each other as I’m sure you did. Sometimes I cant wait for the day to end, to escape for a few hours away from the reality. So sorry if I ramble on, but want you to know that hopefully we’ll both start to feel better, dont know how long it takes, but live in hope of brighter days.
Take care
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Hi George
I feel your pain and loss as I to lost my wife in April I was dreading Christmas without her she was my everything we did everything together going home to a lonely house is the worst feeling ever I go out and try staying out as long as I can I feel like I am imposing on my family and friends and they tell me to call in anytime
Have a good new year if you can
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Going home to a lonely house is the worst feeling ever! I can totally resonate with that!
Take care everyone X
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Everything you write is so true. I dont like cominb into a souless house and sit and cry every day and wail for the pain to go away. People dont understand unless they have been through it. Im only 13 weeks into it and dont really know how to cope after 54 years together. Love and hugs to you. We all care xx
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Hi debbiea
You’re spot on. People don’t and can’t understand what it feels like unless they have experienced the same. Im just a gew weeks further along than you since losing my husband. We were together 40 years. It’s such a traumatic journey for us all. Much love to you x
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