Hi
I am feeling the same as you, I think it’s because we have had an amazing life with our soulmate and now we have to build a new life without them and we don’t know who we are because a big part of us is missing and that part of us has gone, I don’t know who I am anymore but I know that I have to try and more forward because I have to live and laugh again for my Chris because he loved life and I will try to reconnect with some sort of normality for him and me, I think most of us on this site will have had the same or similar feelings x
Annie
2 Likes
Aw Tracy I am sorry you have had bad days, the life you knew that was so familiar to you has completely turned on its head and it’s hard to grasp that your whole world has changed 
I don’t have the words to help you except to say I understand how you feel and it’s 
Annie is right it’s because we were so happy with our soul mates that we can’t imagine our future without them. I watched that Rio Ferdinand program the other night about how he felt after his wife died and they spoke to other guys in the same position and surprisingly the amount of them that said they never thought they would be happy again after losing their partners yet somewhere down the line they actually were. That gives me some hope that in the future we can all be happy again and I don’t mean with someone else I just mean contented and happy in our new life. Keep your chin up Darlin xx
Thank you for your kind words. It’s so hard to put into words how I feel as it is so big. I’ve just ordered a book about grief. I will let you know if it’s any good. I want to try and make some sort of sense out of my thoughts and feelings. I ask questions all the time and it doesn’t seem to matter what answer I get it doesn’t help with the loss, loneliness and missing I feel. I just want to hear his voice again that’s all just hear him. Sorry just not too good xx
I have also read a book called , what to do when your soulmate dies, it has really helped me,!!! But I know exactly what you are saying some days the pain and longing is unbearable and the loneliness overwhelming, I go for a lot of walks especially when the sun is out, I’m lucky that I live in a lovely town to walk around , sometimes I’ve no idea where I’m going but I just walk.
1 Like
It’s hell, I hate the feeling of loss and
I just miss being Colin’s wife looking after him, feeding him, doing his washing and ironing just everyday stuff. He could do all that for himself but I wanted to do it, to coset him and show him how much I loved him. Now there is nothing. My days are empty even though I go out with friends and have people popping in most days the life I knew has gone forever as has yours 
hope the book helps you, we try anything don’t we x
Just missed feeling loved and knowing that someone loved you and cared for you everyday, just miss everything about him his aftershave, his big hugs and laughter
1 Like
Same here to everything you have both wrote. Hopefully tomorrow will be different xx
1 Like
Annie the fact we are all saying the same thing and feeling the same way just shows us it is a process to get us through the worst thing that ever happened to us. I know what you mean about missing feeling loved. I said to my Sister last week ‘I don’t belong to anyone anymore’ bless her she said ‘You belong to me’
1 Like
Yes it horrible not being someone’s wife anymore, I was called a widow last week and it hit me like a brick wall, like you said it a process !!! But it’s an unbelievable experience and it’s so hard when your best friend, soulmate can’t help you get through this.
1 Like
I’ve said the same thing. My daughter said we love you. I feel awful saying I don’t want to be here anymore. I love my family but it’s Andy I want. My happy carefree Andy xx
Ditto, it’s not the same world without them, because everyone life goes on and ours seem to be on ground hog day
Yes that’s true x
Exactly, every night I go to bed I say ‘well got through another one’ sometimes I don’t know how I managed it mind you 
1 Like
That’s what I think,
Yes I say well that’s another day. When I get up I say here we go again, another day closer x
I’ve never been on my own before , it’s so hard eight months along, but it doesn’t seem to get any easier
Do you mean another day closer to meeting them again?
I know, I am the same Annie I have always lived with someone never been on my own for 60 years. I am not lonely though, I get a bit bored but can cope with my own company. If I can’t have Colin here I don’t want anyone else just want to be here with wee Daisy dog.
Yes I do. I feel that I’ve got work to do though. I don’t want to leave stuff for our daughters to do. I said to one of my daughters that I am disassembling my life so she doesn’t have to do it. Some of the things that I have had to do have been heartbreaking and I don’t want that for them. It would seem that official things have no respect for grieving people x
The other thing I struggle with is shopping for one I keep buying for two then end up having to chuck most of it out. It’s all these wee things