Like I’ve said before I’m still waiting for all my official paperwork from Jamaica ie death certificate etc so this can take up to two years, !! So I feel I can’t move on in so many ways
Well I spoil my dog rightly or wrongly, but some foods I can make for two and she gets the other portion minus onions lol. I have changed the way I cook. I used to love making food tasty when I cooked for Andy. I used to bake cakes as well. Not anymore. It’s a new way of doing things isn’t it and we haven’t chosen this way have we. It’s all💩xx
I know Tracy, it’s the official stuff I hate as it is like col never existed 
then yesterday I checked his emails thank goodness as they were about to automatically renew his car insurance! I couldn’t get on his account as I didn’t know the password so had to ring the company and as per I ended up crying AGAIN so you are doing the right thing sorting it all out for your daughter’s as it’s a hard enough time.
That’s right Annie you have the added stress of the paperwork 
as if things are not difficult enough eh
I always loved cooking meals for Chris, but know I can remember the last time I actually used the oven just don’t really fancy anything anymore, I find shopping so hard to do I wonder around the supermarket like I’m in a dream, it’s ridiculous
I’ve had scam emails on Andy’s account, somebody hacked his Facebook account just days after he passed away and then someone tried to access his phone from Mexico. There are some nasty people out there. I fortunately didn’t click on the links on the emails but rang the companies concerned. Good job I did. Anyway I need to go to bed I’m shattered. Table care both of you. Good to talk to you again Vanda xx
Goodnight speak soon
Annie
I’ve just noticed you live in Lincolnshire so do I
Small world Annie x
Yep I am away also, going to watch Graham Norton and there is a gin and tonic with my name on it 
night night xx
Sorry I spelt your name wrong x
Night night x
It is goodnight
Wow you sound like one incredibly strong lady x
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Pat is indeed strong as are many on this forum. I’m sorry you find yourself here Kjm but you’re amongst good company. I have found great comfort from the amazing people here since the very sudden loss of my husband in June 2017. Sending you love and hugs. Xx
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Four months into the sudden loss of my Mother and I feel totally overwhelmed.
It feels like I’ve got mountains to climb. I was Mum’s carer for 23 years. I’m definitely struggling.
I’m going to try and write a plan of action to cope with the things that must be done. I’m hating the sudden change in my life.
I’ve totally lost my way and am happiest hiding away.
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So sorry for your loss Daffy. I hide myself away indoor, but feel so isolated but at the same time don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I just wish the hours away until
It’s bedtime, but then I can’t sleep as I miss him so much and relive him dying… Would be interested in your tips for your plan as this may help others and me. Thanks and try and stay strong. Hugs all round
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Hi there. No I don’t feel particularly strong. There are tears every day without fail and some days I feel so empty but neither do I like wasting the life I have and I love the great outdoors so I go out everyday and walk with my dogs and I do find it helps me. I came to the conclusion at a very early stage of my grief that no one was going to get me through this but myself. So I make every effort. I eat healthily, I get plenty of exercise. I have my allotment where I grow my veg. But I’m sat here this evening and would give anything to see Brian sat in his chair snoozing. Instead my terrier is sleeping there and I have asked Brian if he has turned into a little black dog.
Take care
Pat xxx
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Come on Pat. You are a strong lady. That’s one thing about grief, we never recognize the strength we have and the courage to cope. Your time in grief is about the same as mine. It does get easier, a little, but a little is big in grief.
I often feel like ditching the lot and going off to the middle of Africa, set up a mud hut and to hell with the world. But knowing the world as it is I bet I would have to take out a mortgage on a mud hut. Someone somewhere would be looking to make a few bucks. Sorry if it sounds cynical but it’s how I feel. But even cynics have to eat. Life does go on but I have phases of wondering what the hell it’s all about.
I was told by a very helpful doctor recently, ‘Well it’s all to be expected, everything wears out’ Thanks mate!!! 
Take care Pat and all. Day by day. I don’t know how you have the patience to watch vegetables grow. I’m one of those who put seeds in today and expect full blooms tomorrow. Blessings. XX
I don’t think we realise how strong we all are, my view on this, you can stand in a room full of people and feel so alone, but we have to carry on don’t we ? In the best way that we can at this moment in time,? Not sure some days it’s an effort just to take the dog for a walk but ! I must because only me here to do this, it’s eight months for me but I have to keep living for me and Chris as he was only 54 so young so I owe it to him to try and make something of this void in my life!! Not sure where or what or if I can ever feel the same about life again But we all must at least have a go, I’m rambling again sorry
Annie
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