That’s no problem. When you press on your username it does say you can send a private message x don’t know what that means x
I’ve tried, doesn’t come up with private message. My no is [edited by admin] x
That’s grt. Mine is [edited by admin].
When would you like to chat? X
That was to be our next holiday Jerome the Maldives sadly it was not to be 
We hummed and hawed for years thinking it would maybe be a bit quiet for us but had decided to go for it then I lost my husband in November and I can’t face going away without him now. So many plans and dreams for the future gone in the blink of an eye 
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Yes it’s so sad. We had so many plans too. But when you feel up to it you must go to the maldives, you won’t regret it promise . I’m taking my wife’s Ashes there to be scattered.
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I don’t think I could go to be honest as it was somewhere we would have gone together. We loved Barbados and went there a lot but I don’t think I can bring myself to go back there without Colin. That’s nice you are going to scatter your wife’s ashes there as she loved it so much and was happy there. Who among us would ever have thought we would be planning to scatter ashes instead of planning Holidays together
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Hi Mrs Colt, your last sentence sums it up so well. That disconnect between the life we hoped and planned for and the life we now endure. I still can’t believe I have actually attended my husbands funeral and have his ashes. My happy, lively, funny, strong dependable husband now just ashes. I feel as if I now inhabit a parallel universe - I just don’t know how to live in it.
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Hi there. Your story rings true with me. My husband had a very quick illness with pancreatic cancer, and I cared for him at home with the help of wonderful community nurses. He was only 55. It’s shocking how quick life can be turned upside down. I am a few months down the line from you I guess. The only helpful thing I can think of to say is to just keep going through the motions. Eat well, exercise, keep busy. Don’t try and fight the pain, just accept it. I found that it eases up after a while, but it will never totally go away. What comforts me is knowing how lucky I was to have that wonderful man for 26 years. Wishing you well.
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Hi.
I am trying to carry on but the sadness and emotions seem to totally consume me sometimes. I’m trying to be strong in front of my daughters but find that very hard at the moment. My wife was the one who ran the house and I just can’t seem to run the house as good as her. I feel totally demotivated and worried what the future holds for me and my girls. It’s so quiet and lonely in the house now. That lovely chaotic family life buzz has been stolen away.
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I feel for you. If I had have gone first I would have worried about my husband looking after all the boring details, because I did it all. I don’t have children to worry about, but perhaps they can be a help to you. You are probably feeling numb and barely able to function. Go easy on yourself. You don’t have to do a perfect job right now. I don’t think it would hurt to show your girls some of your emotions. Perhaps talking a little bit with them about it might help. Keep going x
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I know Jobar, you cant comprehend it can you. Its like only half of you is functioning the other half just wants to be back with your Husband. I keep trying to get into my head that he is not coming back so I need to accept it but by god its hard
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I scattered by husband’s ashes about a week ago on our wedding anniversary. I was on my own due to lockdown, but I suppose I wanted to be anyway. I had a mini meltdown that weekend, but somehow I think I’m a wee bit better since - like I’ve passed a hurdle.
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Not surprised you had a wee meltdown Marie it must be a hard thing to do. I think you were better doing it on your own just you and your Hubby together for one last time. Maybe you have reached the stage of acceptance by scattering his ashes that’s why you feel a bit better. I have the majority of Colin’s ashes here with me to be scattered with mine when the time comes. His daughters also have some so part of him is in both Japan and London & his Brother has some in Australia . He loved to travel so in a way he is still doing so.
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Hi Jerome, hope this finds you well x
Hi Rena.
Must admit it’s been a difficult week with my daughters 21st bringing lots of emotions. I know it’s still early days but I’m exhausted and tired of feeling sick in my stomach. Anyway I suppose I have to keep going. How have you been this week? I need a holiday so can’t wait until we can fly again. I won’t it won’t take the pain away but its a release from these four walls. My sixteen year has had a bit of a melt down with me so that was upsetting because I can’t seem to handle much pressure at the moment. Thank you for asking how I am. Hope I can sleep tonight x
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Awe I’m sorry to hear that, you’ve had an emotional time of it, glad your youngest opened up though, that will help her healing process, and yours too in time. I’ve had a busy week with work so that helps to keep me going. I know what you mean about holidays though, I jst can’t wait to escape for a couple of weeks x
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Yes anywhere hot and no kids. Speak soon Jerome x
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I am not looking forward to that but with Covid it has all been stopped as he was buried just 2wks before lockdown. My mother in law wants half on my father in laws grave and I want the rest scattered at sea as he had been a submariner for 24years but one of his sons are saying he wants some 
. There will hardly be any of him left. I am dreading the conversation coming up when we collect the ashes. 
Shonzie you will get a shock when you see the amount of ashes there are 
Colin’s 2 daughters, brother and sister all have some. I have a miniature urn full & I have also had a necklace made with them. The rest will be scattered with mine when my turn comes. Remember though you don’t have to give any to anyone if you don’t want to, the choice is yours entirely so don’t get anxious about it x
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hi Vanda
nice that you are able to deal with your husbands ashes,and share them with loved ones which was a lovely thing to be able to do.and its sad that people like me cannot get any and have no rites to have any ashes.sorry for jumping in just i tried my heart out to be able get some of Jaynes ashes but to no avail.so Shonzie ,Vanda is correct you dont have to give anyone else.if you are the person who dealt with the undertaker then you have sole rites.
and thats my big regret not being in a fit state to say to Jaynes mum no i will organise Jaynes funeral.i didn’t realise what a nasty manipulative women she was.
we live and learn.sorry for droning on,and no offence intended Vanda or Shonzie,just my emotions running very high at present.
regards
ian