@Bess1 @Jeanine1 @Shelley50
I want to thank you for your kind and warm messages to me in Feb.It meant so much to me .I did have 6 weeks of counselling from Sue Ryder The lady helped me a lot but I slid back afterwards.I can only say I don’t really know how I got through the last 5 months.I am dreading the one year anniversary of my husbands death on 29 Sep.It is now almost 10 months I am still suffering I have just started more counselling arranged by my Gp for 12 weeks .I literally cried for 9 months.I think because I don’t have family it has made a terrible difference.When I hear from lovely understanding people like you it warms my heart.
I do hope you are all ok I hope you are managing this terrible thing called grief
Love and hugs
Anxxx
@Bess1 I have just sent a post to you and others as I didn’t reply in Feb wanted to say how I appreciated messages at that time.
I feel now exactly as you are feeling it is so hard isn’t it .I do go to M&S sometimes with my friend she comes all the way from Stevenage to take me out in the fresh air.
I am just in such a mess I have no confidence to go anywhere alone as for 42 years I went everywhere with my husband.Until he died I still went alone on a bus or tube if I had to but when he died everything ground to a halt.When he died I died .However I still have hope that we will improve.
Love& hugs
Annx
Hi 19Lefke95
Life we know will never be the same
Will we ever get to grips with our grief
Everyone says ‘you learn to manage it’
Well I haven’t started learning yet and I’m a slow learner……and I don’t want to learn
I loved my/ our life
Sadly tho no more and it’s so so incredibly painful
My heart like everyone else’s on here is totally utterly broken …….
Lolxx
Bess1
My darling husband’s name was Paul and that could be me speaking to him. It is over two and a half years since that dreadful day in December 2020. I can’t believe that I have survived this far but I don’t believe it will become any better now but I plod on with the loving support of my family. Best wishes to everyone who is struggling on this sad journey.
Hi Carole 9
We all have more in common than we realise
Plod is a very good word to describe myself
Paul was a twin Richard is married to Clare
Clare after Paul’s passing put her cards on the table and said
I just don’t know how you feel
I’ve no idea what you are thinking feeling
I don’t know what’s it’s like as I’ve still got Richard
But……. We will bundle along together
She’s / they have been marvellous
Clare has been there for me and with me every step of the way and we are still ‘stepping’
Everyone needs a Clare and I thank god I’ve got one
If the roles were reversed would I know how to support someone?
I do now but did I before ?
Grief is just hell
Xx
Bess1
I do agree with you, I had no idea of the very real pain that my friend felt when her lovely husband died. I was sympathetic but I’m not sure I was any real help. I know I would be better now. I do have a Clare now in the form of my granddaughter. She was born when I was44 so I could have been her mother. She is married with 3 children and along with two of my sons has been my rock, even though they have never been in my position. I do find this forum helpful because I know I am communicating with others who really do ‘get it’ and understand. I’m always aware that I don’t want to upset my family or worry them unduly hence why I’m on here. Best wishes Carol
@Bess1 It is great that you have your brother and sister in law.I have been blessed as my husbands second cousins wife has come to me everyday since I lost Zeki .I didn’t know her very well as we all worked and didn’t meet up very much .I would have had no one but she has been my rock and friend and completely kept my body and soul together.Also I have a friend who lives in Stevenage and she comes all the way on a Saturday to take me out.I just don’t know what I would do without them Then I found I have such lovely people on this forum who are friends.We can talk about our deepest fears and agonising sadness.I am grateful to everyone.I love the expression plod me to a t.It is incredible how we all feel we have changed .Isn’t it extraordinary how grief has affected us so much.
We will plod on and through thick and thin we have to win against grief
Hugs and love to all
Annxxx
@Carol9 I am glad you also have support and care.
There is definitely nothing to compare with the loss of a spouse it is like a secret society where we don’t realise anything about it until we are chucked in at the deep end.
Hugs&love
Annx
Hi Ann
Chucked in and drowning constantly gasping for breath
Xx
19Lefke95
I do agree with all you say. Thank you.
i so agree with all you are saying in your post. I lost my husband of 62 years in July 2022 and feel totally lost and miserable without him. I feel that everything in life has been taken away , enjoyment, companionship, travel, going out for meals, theatre, cinema , gardening together, watching TV together. not being able to share anything. Life seems pointless now xx
@Unforgettable
My heart aches for you as I am going through exactly the same agony.My husband of 42years died in Sep 22 and at the moment I have gone back instead of improving the sadness and loneliness is suffocating me.I have cried non stop today .My thoughts are with you
Hugs
Annx
I too have cried on and off all day. I have some days when i feel ok but today hasn’t been good. I just feel old and lonely and sad even though the sun was shining. Maybe tomorrow will be better xxx
Hi
We all are just bumbling along…… I would say not living ……existing ……and functioning …… with lots and lots of tears
I so hate my new life
Xx
@Bess1 Today has been the worst day since my husband died .Every single day has been unbearable but today I sank lower than ever before.I just thought I wouldn’t get through it but somehow did.Managed to struggle to the surface.
I sometimes wonder if I will get through this grief
Hope your day has been fairly ok
Annx
On Saturday I went to a cat rescue centre and brought come a lovely 6 year old tabby who had been there since February. She is such company for me and has settled down really well and sits on my lap every evening purring. I lost my 21year old cat in May and the house seemed so empty without my husband and my cat it was unbearable. Now I feel a lot less depressed as I have someone to look after and care for.
I lost my Paul 10 weeks ago which was totally unexpected with a Pulmonary embolism,we had so many plans which i feel robbed of,if it wasn’t for my kids and grandchildren i would of joined him,i still cant sleep in our bed,im sleeping on his chair.I feel my life is over as his family have ignored me because the funeral wasn’t about them so feel ive lost them as well as Paul,the pain i feel is unbearable at times and i feel im in a nightmare i cant get out of.I have supported friends and family but still feel so alone without my beloved Paul.
Hi Dyane
Yes the pain is just something else
I lost my husband Paul on the 24th July 2022
It would’ve been our 45th wedding anniversary on Saturday 5th
A year on I am still as lost bewildered feel cheated of plans …… I am totally just existing day by day sometimes often hour by hour
We had no children just Paul and I
Now just me
Totally grief stricken
It’s so cruel
Paul was the friendliest kindest generous loyal kind hearted bloke who was snatched from me
Paul just once said it’s worse for the folks left behind
So so true…… I’m broken hearted and it’ll never mend
I’m in denial I think he’ll come home from work or we’ll have a conversation or go away in our motorhome or wake(!) up and he’ll be there next to me …. The list is just endless as we all know ….
Take care
Xx