Morning,
I still don’t like busy places, going round the supermarket is like supermarket sweep - eyes down focused on what’s on the list - & please don’t look at me --silly I know.
You need to find a distraction, clear a cupboard, change your route each day, anything. it’s hard to motivate any changes but try.
I have a friend who takes a flask & goes whenever the car takes her just to break the cycle.
Brave words I know but small steps could help.
G. X
Thank you,some good advice there
Hi Peter,
So sorry for your loss.
Like you I cared for my wife and had carers in whilst working reduced hours. It has been six weeks now and I am just trying to think day by day else it becomes too overwheming.
I also feel very alone as it was just us two which was all we needed.
I am after some advice if anyone could help, that would be great.
Does anyone feel guilty for feeling alone? As if it’s some type of betrayal to their loved one.
Probably doesn’t make sense but amongst the other horrid emotions guilt is rearing it’s head, I try to keep positive but then feel I shouldn’t be happy. Before her passing I was a (fairly) sensible person but currently just surviving. I need to believe my wife would want me to continue.
Donant I hope you and everyone here, me included will get to a point in life when we can have some kind of solace, where we can look back and smile at all the beautiful memories.
With love
Joe x
The list of emotions are too long to mention. 
I said to myself one day, how would I want hubby to be if roles were reversed?
Yes, you’d better miss me, keep the house tidy – but please don’t let grief take over. Big boy pants on! In a sense I’m glad we weren’t together 24/7 apart from lockdown.
My head knows he’s not coming back but I still think he’ll be back soon, look out the window etc . I try my best along with a few swear words!!
But don’t overthink things.
Hope that makes some sense.
G. X
I’ve just seen a saying which I thot was apt .
"People come & go in your life.
but the person in the mirror will always be there. Be kind to yourself "
G. X
Hi . I think I understand how you feel .the grieving mind is horrid . Mine has thoughts of did my hubby even love me. Will he be waiting for me when I eventually die ,or will he have moved on . Am I doing everything right . Am I upset enough. And these awful thought just go round and round in my head. I think we all feel lonely without our partners. But it doesn’t mean we are looking to move forward without them .we are just trying to find a way of getting through each lonely day and night. It’s almost nine months since my hubby died. And I still constantly have these thoughts. I know we loved each other .and I now love and miss him more and more each day. I think the only thing we can do is take it hour by hour day by day. And try not to listen to the fog brain . It is hard. Hope this has helped a little .xtake care x
Hi Broken2222
i am sure your husband loved you and still does as much as you still love him and will be waiting for you till your turn comes if he could speak to you right now he would tell you the same
its all scarey for us being the ones left behind wondering where life will take us cant even think of what the future may hold for us
but one thing im sure of that they are with us every day helping us to get through all this thats how we have got as far as we have
i talk to my husband every day and sure he hears me if something goes wrong i always ask for his help and it usually ends up ok in the finish
keep faith that he is with you and will be waiting for you at the end but at the moment we have to do our best to carry on and make them proud that we are coping
take care
pat
Hi. I know in my heart these thoughts in my brain are wrong. But sometimes they are so powerful. They hurt .and with my shattered heart . Sometimes I find everything unbearable. I am lost without hubby. And just trying to do all the things he did . When I find it to hard I say it’s man’s stuff .and I can’t do it .butthen I realise I am the only one who can do it now . So I plod on each lonely day .thank you for your reply .you are so kind .it did bring a tear to my eyes xtake carex
I’m crying whole reading your posts. Don’t worry, it’s a comforting cry just saying to all of you: “yes, yes that’s exactly how I feel, I’m so relieved too that I’m not going mad. I just wasn’t expecting this grief I’m going through, my husband was only 57,why,why?” I always talk to him, I talk to myself, I mumble to myself, I scream, I cry out to him and ask: " Where are you? You can’t just not exist anymore".
I still can’t release and pour out all my feelings with family, I only manage to ‘talk’ to you all here because you’re unfortunately going through the same pain, we can understand each other and give each other strength to go on.
Hi Solost
so young to be taken my husband was 71 and we had 56 years together and 54 married so was lucky to be together so long and lived a full life of going and doing everything we wanted to do
i have never gone around talking to myself so much and always speak to my husband ask him for help and i usualy get it
and i dont know how many times i have asked why you why did you have to leave even though hed been ill for years dont suppose we will ever understand that question only that it was their time to go and i know my husbands body could not take any more
its good that you can release all your feelings on here and someone always here to understand
take care
pat
Looby2018, thank you for your kind words. So sorry for your loss too. It really is so hard, grief has brought out in me so many strange emotions and odd behaviour that I’d never even thought existed.
Wishing you good night.
solost
yes i think we all go through different stages in our grief and so many hurdles to get over
we will never get over it but learn to live with it i am just organising his grave stone now thats the final hurdle for me to do but you will always have bad days and good days in time the bad days will get less but we will never forget them thats for sure always be in our hearts
pat
Hi . It is so hard . My hubby was 59 . We should of had a lot more years together. I sit out the back on a night looking at the sky . And ask him were is he . I just wish he could let me know he is out of pain. And is waiting for me .when it’s my turn . I write to him in my diary every night just telling him how much I miss and love him.also WHY. He was fit and healthy. But by the time cancer treatment had finished he was very very poorly. It breaks my heart to think of the pain he went through . Fighting to live. I also put an act on in front of kids and work . I can’t let them see how bad I feel . I think if I cry in front of them ,I will never stop, so posting on here also helps me . Xtake carex
Unsure whether I’ve mentioned this verse before :
Death is nothing at all by Henry Scott Holland.
G…x
Hi Broken
yes he will be free from pain now like my husband is the day he died he looked so peaceful with no pain on his face at all as before his face showed all the pain he was going through
and he will be watching over you listening to what you say and will be there for you when your time comes
stay strong and brave
pat
Hi thank you for this. My broken brain just plays havoc with me. But your kind words do help . I know I am just lost and trying to muddle through each day. But with the help of these posts it does ease a little. Xtake carex
glad i help it is a hard process but when you can talk to someone whose going through the same as you it does help
i have just read the verse that grandma just put on death is nothing at all its lovely i looked it up on google
pat
that was a lovely verse and lovely to read
thank you for that
pat
Hi long lonely night for me .never slept. Missing hubby so much . Sat out back all night looking at sky wondering where hubby is. Days are so long. And nights even longer when I don’t sleep. Will this ever ease .will I ever feel happy again. Will I ever sleep properly again .I just wish hubby was still here with me and everything would be perfect again .xtake carex
Oh dear Broken I’m sorry you’re feeling so low.
It’s hard to imagine feeling happy again I agree. I try and join in with friends and family but I’m so lonely even when I’m surrounded by people. I often think how I would have gone home and we would have laughed about things that have happened and things that were said - now I go back home alone and it’s so hard.
I hope you can find some help with sleeping, everything is so much harder to cope with when you’re exhausted. Take care x