Everything is magnified due to the lack of sleep.
Take solace while you are looking upwards - your hubby is looking downwards - watching over you.
Read “death is nothing at all” by Henry Scott Holland - sad but it does give some comfort.
Life will never be the same I know , but we need to do our best.
G. Xx
it is awful when you cant sleep even though you feel tired and exhausted and then worse the next day i dont get many of them now just one now and again when i cant drop off to sleep straight away night time always seems so quiet and if you cant sleep your brain works overtime with too many memories of the last few days and too many pictures go through your mind then next day you just feel out of control
think we all have been there but things will improve with time as you get used to your life alone thats the way way we all live now living one day at a time
stay strong and remember he is looking out for you
pat
Hi broken 2222 sorry you are not sleepin xg i also find it hard to sleep the doctor would only give me a shirt supply of sleeping tablets but then i only slept for about 5 hours i also ask my husband to give me a sign that hes ok and one night the dog wanted to go out at 2am and when i let him out sitting on the grass was a tiny bird feather which wasnt there earlier i seen that as the sign and the dog wanting to go out which was unusal it made me smile i hope you find some comfort soon
i have found that too if you ask for help something always comes along
theres always signs they are there
pat
Hi thank you for your kind words . I think I am finding it harder at the moment . It will be our wedding anniversary this week . Every time I think about it I just cry . This time last year hubby had finished his cancer treatment and seemed well . We thought he had gotten through it and life was going to be great again , but within three months he had died . It is our 40 wedding anniversary . I am still married to him . Xtake carex
Hi thank you for kind words . I have read that and it is beautiful does give me a little bit hope . Thank you. X take carex
Hi thank you for your kind words . You have described exactly how I feel . It helps to know there are kind people who can help when I am feeling at my worse . Xtake carex
Hi thank you for your kind words. I only slept one hour just after hubby died .then managed three to four hours. Still not enough. And a lot of nights don’t sleep at all. I don’t want to take any meds to help. As they might affect me through the day and I still need to work . I would say that was definitely a sign. I have three white feathers that have appeared out of no where. I keep them in my jewelry box . Hopefully I will find some more . Xtake carex
Hi Broken,
I couldn’t sleep and found for me sleeping tablets have helped a tiny bit
I too found a white feather which I have kept. I also see a magpie outside most days which I like to think is my wife checking to see I am doing the best I can.
Sending you love and hope you find some more feathers.
Joe xx
Hi thank you for your kind words. I actually thought my sleep was getting better and would keep improving. But the long lonely sleepiness nights are the worst. I am sure it is your wife keeping an eye on you and trying to help you. Hopefully we both find more white feathers .x take care x
Hi does anyone else find that Sundays seem longer than 24 hrs. I think today has gone on forever .and it’s only late afternoon. When hubby was here the full weekend use to go so quick . Not that we did much .just liked being together. Watching TV . Sitting in garden talking . Just normal everyday things. Now weekend so long and lonely . I’m sitting here haven’t got the motivation to do anything . housework needs doing .ironing . But what is the point . I always liked house to be tidy and organised when hubby was here. But none of that matters now . I hope this feeling of dread eventually gets easier to manage. I can deal with the pain of a broken heart. But the loneliness and boredom is awful. Then my mind starts working overtime and bad thoughts take over. Today has been such a long day for me . Thank you for listening .xtake care x
Similar to yourself, today is horrendous…I used to keep a neat tidy home too but what’s the point,
Hello………I’m really struggling today,keep asking myself why?..…why did my wife have to pass away so young,57, and me 52 and all on my own,no children,little family,I’m here crying now and thinking what’s the point of everything………I’ve never been on my own,never,been with my wife since I was 24,28 years together…….I feel lost,broken,and totally lonely,the loneliness is horrendous,it really is the worse thing.Someone once said to me a long time ago that loneliness is a killer,and now that my wife has passed away I know what he meant.I just don’t know what to do anymore,I can’t seem to put tv on,so I sit in silence and cry…………6pm I usually go to bed to get the day over with,my wife passed away 3 weeks ago,I’ve got a huge long battle ahead of me,and facing it alone.I really don’t know if I can do it
yes sundays do always seem to be the longest today was a bit special as we went to patricks grave today for fathers day then went for lunch for a get together and a chat
on weekend we always went out somewhere
i still do the same routine as i did before patrick died hopefully if hes looking down on me it will make him proud to see i am copeing
take care pat
Hi so sorry for you .I am starting to cry also. It’s nine months since my hubby died .we had been together from us being 16 so that is all I have known
I feel my life is over now. But I still have to live it. I don’t sleep very well some nights not at all. The loneliness is just dreadfull. I have adult kids and grandkids. But not the same as a partner. And I know they have there lives to live. I feel like I have had mine and it was wonderful . My son and his girlfriend live with me but even though I’m not alone I am still very lonely. All we can do is just take one day at a time. And chat on here. I find that does help. Knowing I’m not the only one feeling like this. Message me any time you need a chat. And all the other kind people on this site. Sending love to you xtake carex
Sounds like we are all having the same shitty Sunday!
I have been like that too. I think we all expect so much of Sundays - a day of rest and regrouping, but for us it is often think ‘oh god another week to face ahead’
Also I think being Fathers Day is an issue even if you are not grieving your father directly but my Facebook is full of dad memorials etc, a reminder of how deep and cutting grief is.
And what a nasty leveller grief is. Whether like myself and @Donant with little family, or with children/surviving partner etc we all seem to feel the same painful level of loneliness because nothing and no-one can take the place of your person.
Should we try an online quiz or something next Sunday? Or maybe agree to watch something the same and then chat on here about it?
Beki x
Hi I don’t seem to be able to get into a routine. I just muddle through the day. I think the only routine I have is in work .because if I don’t follow it I would be sacked. And then I really would be worse off. Hope you had a good day today .well as good as it could be .xtake carex
Great ideas Beki
Hi Donant
so sorry you are feeling so bad but it is stages we have gone through you are new into your grief yet and you will deal with many hurdles and feelings along the way just take one day at a time with baby steps it is awful to be on your own and sometimes loneliness can be over bearing we will never get over it but we do learn to live with it try and keep yourself as busy as you can have you got any hobbies you can do or try and go out for a walk i know its hard to on your own but it will help
i was married for 54years together for 56 since we were 15 so its the first time i have been on my own too but at least i have family
try and keep strong i am sure your your wife is watching over you and if she could speak to you im sure she would tell you to stay strong and carry on
take care and keep strong and try to do things for your wife that she would like you to do
pat
Hi yes Sundays weekends are so hard. I have actually just said on another post. I’m actually looking forward going to work tomorrow THATS A FIRST. because this weekend been the worst. Most are but struggling a bit today. Xtake carex