Hi all weekends are terrible i can be surrounded by family but im still lonely i dont know what it is about the housework for a few of us but i cant be bothered to do much either i used to always be pottering around doing something but now i just put it off till the next day ive started going out for lunch with my sister and friends once a week and i do enjoy it but hate comming home to not having my husband here to tell him about my day
3 Likes
Hi I always say I will do housework no things tomorrow. But my mam use to say to us tomorrow never comes . And she was so right . It never comes in this house . I think that is one of the problems . It isn’t a home anymore it’s just a house. I still think . Oh I must tell chris when I get in . If something happens . But I can only tell his photo . And never get any reply back from him . I miss him more and more each day and love him more and more .xtake carex
1 Like
Hi I think our homes are just a house now. Since we have lost loved ones . Nothing matters anymore. Xtake care x
1 Like
Hi broken 2222 i think its because i used to like it nice and tidy for him even though he was a hands on husband i talk to his photo all the time and aloud to him when im walking the dog im always chatting to him in my head aswell its been 5 and ahalf months now and the tears still come daily
3 Likes
Hi yes Chris always helped in fact he was better at housework than I was. But I never told him . I wish I had told him a lot of things . How he was my life. How it was an honour to be his wife. And a lot more. I’m sure he knew but I think now I should of told him . But we never expected to be parted so soon . Even though it was cancer I never thought he would die. He always solved any problems we had and I thought he would solve that one. That was the sort of person he was .always positive. I don’t know how I have got through these nine months. A lot of it is the help on this site.knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way.and I’m not losing the plot. With some of the thoughts I had. But we just have to plod on I suppose. Thanks for chat xtake carex
2 Likes
Hi Broken2222and Modun, just been reading your last posts here and I just felt I had to joinin in. I’m going through the same problem with housework. I also keep putting off jobs, abandoned my routine, I’ve become generally very superficial (used to be so meticulous) not doing the jobs very well, who cares if the house is not spotless? The funny thing is that I do want to occupy my time, to distract me from thinking too much and crying, but housework doesn’t help me in that way. On the other hand I end up doing all the jobs my hubby would have done, like painting all the railings, chopping wood, weeding, sowing, digging, and so on. Obviously I’m limited, don’t have his physical strength and knowledge. I can’t believe how I’ve changed, my daughter even said to me, jokingly: "mum, you’ve become a man, doing all these ‘man jobs’.
Wishing you and everyone here a peaceful evening, sorry if I say luckily another sad weekend is almost over.
2 Likes
Hi . Glad it’s nearly time for bed . Not that I sleep well . And thank god another long lonely weekend over . I use to love doing housework . Music on blasting . Singing away . And the end result . Lovely . All nice for chris coming in from work . All pointless now . It’s been a bad week for me . Not that the others have been good . I did garden . Mans stuff . For our anniversary . It is looking quiet good . But I have to keep remembering to water it . I hope he’s looking down and saying . You’ve done alright darlin . The housework can wait another day . It is awfull life now without him . I miss him so much . I try not to think to much because the tears just start . Thanks for joining in . Xtake carex
3 Likes
Hi all,
It’s amazing that’s a common trait amongst us all…
.housework or unfortunately no housework!!! With me it’s just general lack of motivation and fear and confusion 
I even find it difficult getting out of bed and finally I’m glad that today is nearly done
4 Likes
Hi yes it seems the housework doesn’t matter to any of us anymore. What’s a little bit dust and muck going to do. Yes glad it’s nearly bed time .and hope everyone has a lovely sleep .to help see us through tomorrow. Goodnight all .x take carex
1 Like
I was thinking that things I used to worry about before, now seem so trivial, unimportant. After having experienced such a tragic loss, going through such a bad time, feeling devastated, what do we care about tidying up and polishing the furniture?
Wishing you all a goodnight, I’ll be lucky if I get at least a few hours’ sleep.
1 Like
Hi I never slept last night .so hopefully I might get about four hours . Up at six for work .goodnight chat again soon x
2 Likes
Hi broken 2222 alan died within a month of being diagnosed with lung and brain cancer on 23rd dec he only became ill on 16th dec we talked so much in those couple of weeks and all he worried a bout was leaving me im just so glad we had the time to say goodbye and i could tell him i had loved every bit of the 40 years we had togeather even the disagreements goodnight to you all x
4 Likes
Hi what an awful shock that was for you. But glad you managed to talk with husband. We never discussed anything .I honestly thought he wouldn’t die and leave me. And I think Chris thought the same. So when he did I was in total shock.but thinking back now I should of realised there was a possibility. We got phone call on a Friday to say cancer had spread. Following Friday appointment with hospital. They said they couldn’t cure it but could give treatment to try and stop it going anyfurther so appointment were made . Following Friday he died. Cancer is so awful I think by now they should have a treatment that works and doesn’t make you worse than before treatment. Xtake carex
3 Likes
Hi just wondering how you are all doing . I think these sunny days are so sad. They use to make me feel happy . But I just think of what I am missing. And I see more couples out and about. I don’t wish them no harm . But I feel so desperate knowing only a while ago that was me and hubby. Enjoying the sun and each others company. I feel so alone and lost now . I’m sure you all know the feeling. Still haven’t tidied up maybe tomorrow. Hope I haven’t brought anyone down . Thinking of you all .xtake carex
2 Likes
Hi Broken, so sorry to know you are struggling it is just such a wretched feeling. Unfortunately the posts on here are mainly sad, I’ve been trying to stay positive but am also feeling bad today, hopefully it will pass. I know I should get out and about more but lack my usual enthusiasm for anything and have ended up watching crap on tele. Let’s hope our future will give us some peace.
With love
Joe x
2 Likes
Hi Joeb40 . I just don’t seem to be able to find any positives . I know I should try . Chris was always a positive person and I’m sure he would hate to know that I feel like I have just give up on life . I do try . But the hurt and loneliness are just to much . But I do get up each morning and go to work . So I suppose that’s a positive . I can’t watch tv . To many memories . I did try and watch breaking bad . I have watched it a few times without chris . He wasn’t interested in it . But when I watched it there was to many triggers . Like the main character having cancer . When I watched it before . That part didn’t mean that much to me because Chris was fit and well . I know I must try harder I suppose .thank you for listening to me and I hope I havnt made you feel worse .thinking of you xtake carex
Hi again,
No you haven’t made me feel worse, I think it’s good that we have somewhere to write and unfortunately a lot we are all carrying is despair and heartache.
I agree that watching things and hearing music triggers off feelings we struggle to cope with, let’s hope at some stage we can look back and smile at all the beautiful memories we all have of our loved ones.
I have been back working on a phased return which I think helps, just tough trying to engage with people about anything, no motivation or happiness anywhere. There are posts here where people have managed to find some kind of life, I truly hope we can all get to this stage, find some peace.
Thanks
Joe x
1 Like
Hi again . I found going back to work very hard . I work with women and they are always complaining about there partners . I feel like shouting at them . To just love and cherishe every moment they have with there partners . But I have been back now for six months and I just try and not listen . I know if I tried to say anything I would just cry . I also listen to music . But can’t listen to old stuff . So I’m listening to tom grennan . But his songs are also triggers . But probably me .and the way I feel . Yes let’s hope we can find a way through this and have some peace . Xtake care x
I posted recently that some days I had to have silence , then days both the TV & radio on at the same time.
Felt guilty watching TV - sad because certain songs on the radio - guilty eating by myself.
Then - one of hubby’s favourite songs came on & I surprised myself by singing along - - initially guilty but then I Gave it both barrels & it felt very therapeutic.
Radio goes on every morning now as I feel it’s a small but important step.
He would be rolling his eyes as to how out of tune I am!!
Give it a go.
G. X
4 Likes
Hi yes I now find I am able to sing again . I couldn’t for the first six months without Chris .but I do sing loud and very badly . Like when Chris was here with me . He use to look at me in a strange way like he was in pain . Probably he was . Ear and head pain . But I use to sing to him . And in the car. With him driving. Happy days and memories. I hope he can hear me now when I sing especially the songs I sing to him . Xtake carex
2 Likes