Hi broken 2222 im sorry your having a sad day today i had a better day today 3 of the grandchildren came to play in the paddling pool after school and i had lunch out with my sister and friends the warmer weather makes me feel better it will be the winter i will hate hardly seeimg neighbours etc
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Hi so glad you had a better day .I suppose we have to grab the good days with both our arms and embrace them . Grandkids do help a lot. Hopefully you / we all have better days to come more frequently. Xtake carex
Hi Broken2222, I understand how you must have felt when you watched that TV programme where the character had cancer. Something similar happened to me yesterday. I’m reading one of my daughter’s books, it’s a detective story, just an easy read to free my mind for a an hour or two a day. Well there was a scene where a detective was trying to revive a victim with cpr, oh well, it was just too much for me, I just broke down crying, wouldn’t have affected me at all before. When there’s a sad scene in a film, when someone’s dying or even just a funeral scene, I just have to walk away or change channels. Can’t bear to watch them
Mind you, almost everything around me is a ‘trigger’ to start me off. My morning coffee which I now only make for myself, as my kids get up later, driving alone, shopping alone, working out on our property alone, just everything really. I still wear a facemask even if it’s no longer compulsory in most places, together with sunglasses I feel protected from all the world that I just don’t want to look at and don’t wish to be looked at.
Wishing you a peaceful day.
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Hi Grandma, I agree with you, music and singing are very therapeutic. My husband and I had started learning to play the piano together,. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to sit at that piano again. I convinced myself to continue to honor his memory, after all, I’d never had learned at all if it wasn’t for him. Can’t play the songs we played together, though. That hurts too much. Recently I discovered Celine Dion’s song: “Because you loved me”, the lyrics seem written for me, I relate to every single word. I still have trouble listening to music passively, but if I play it myself, it’s a bit like like letting go, releasing all that pain I have inside, like opening the valve of a pressure cooker and letting all the steam out. Mind you, sometimes I break down and my just have to stop. Like you say, there are ‘no’ days and ‘yes’ days.
Keep singing, I’m sure your beloved is lovingly smiling at you.
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Hi let’s hope we all have a peaceful day. Thank you. I had a total melt down last night. I was doubting everything in my life before and now. I managed to sleep. So I now just have to try and pick myself up and keep on. Knowing other people are there giving me support on this site helps me a lot. So just plod on that’s all we can do.xtake carex
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Hi hope everyone as good as they can be . Another weekend about to start. I am so trying to be positive after total meltdown the other night. I just have to think I was blessed to have had a wonderful man in my life . Who loved me and cared for me all our life together .and I’m sure he is still loving and caring for me and helping me each day. As I will love him forever. The garden I did for a wedding anniversary for hubby .is looking nice. And I’m sure he will be proud of what I achieved. But also I think he might of chose a few swear words when I was hacking away at some of the plants .what made me smile thinking of him. Anyway hopefully I can try and keep this positive outlook for at least a few days or even a few hours . Allxtake carex
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Hi broken 2222 im glad your smiling and thinking of your hubby in the garden i like that they are watching over us its still early days but i can have a memory now which doesnt make me cry instead of the sad memory of his days before he died i hope the weekend goes easier for you xxx
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Sorry for ur loss it’s very early days for you Iost my husband after 19 days of diagnosis of cancer it’s true every body have there own lives it’s so lonely without my sole mate also lost my mam last year
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Hi Broken, I was thinking how the week just flies past and it’s suddenly the weekend again. Sad, lonely weekend, seems to last forever. Used yo be the other way round before. Missing my beloved so much, remembering all our summer holidays together. I never thought I’d find myself in a ‘keeping up appearances’ situation…When talking to people, they probably think I’m doing alright and that time heals and it’ll get easier in time. Don’t they realise that I’m just putting on a brave face, because I have to, i I have no choice, I have so much to do now, so many more responsibilities, taking care of official stuff, paperwork, physical jobs around the house and on our property. It’s all on my shoulders now and I have to do my best for my two grown-up kids living with me. I would prefer to just curl up in a corner and ignore the whole world around me. What nobody knows is when I am completely alone, at home, or in the car, I have my “crying out attacks” and I just go into a frenzy, asking why, why, why, banging my hands on whatever object happens to me in my reach.
I can say this here because I know you all understand and won’t think I’m going mad.
Thank you for listening and wishing you a good night’s sleep.
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Hi yes the time with our loved ones just went so quick . And now days drag . I’m so trying to find some positive but as bedtime arrives .I know I will be in such a state crying for my one and only love and the happy life we had . But then tomorrow I will just plod on as I try to do everyday .hidding my true feelings . Hope you manage some sleep .thanks for chat .xtake carex
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Hi I havnt been coping very well the last few days . Almost ten months since hubby died . I feel so lonely and lost . What do I do with my life now . I have tried being positive but keep failing . I so miss my hubby . And love him more and more each day . Everything is so pointless no reason to do anything . Does this ever get any better or is this it for the rest of my life . I have read on these posts that the second year is worse than the first . I believe it as each day hubby is getting further and further away from me . I thought writing down might help me with how I feel . And I know I can rely on kind people on this site to listen and maybe help. ALL xtake carex
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Remember time really is a great healer
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Hi yes that is all I seem to have now is time . Let’s hope it does heal or at least makes things easier to cope with xtake carex
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Hi broken2222 6 months since my world fell apart i miss him terribly and his birthday will be in 4 days time but i have found myself laughing with friends and family about memories time is a great healer but my widowed friend told me at about 6 months the grief hit her harder x
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I don’t like the phrase “time is a healer”.
Time makes things easier to cope with, more manageable and you begin to adjust to your next chapter.
I was told - I had a life before my partner & kids, it’s just finding yourself again. Very true.
“Little by little you let go of your loss,
but never of your love.”
G. X
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I just don’t know how I can have a next chapter,I can’t see a future
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Hi . I think as the months go by I realise what I have lost and what I am missing . At first I was just numb and I think in denial . But now the reality has hit me . Hard . This is my life now so how do I live it . Hope you manage best you can on your husbands birthday . It was my hubby’s birthday three months after he died he would of been 60 . And the day was very very hard . Thinking of you xtake carex
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Hi I think that is part of the problem I don’t know who I am anymore . I have no one so I feel as if I’m no one . I know I have family but it’s not the same as your partner . I feel totaly lost most of the time . And my love for hubby grows stronger every day . I hope in time I do learn to live with the pain . And maybe have a life worth living . Xtake carex
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Hi broken2222 yes its over whelming thinking is this life now the lonliness and after 40 years its hard to see how to move forward on alans birthday im going to the pub a 70s music thing i will go alone but friends and family said they will come and meet me x
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The next chapter in your life started when you lost your partner.
You learn to take small steps - some days one forward two back -
You have a future, maybe not what you had planned but it’s now what you make of it.
No easy fix - just hang in there.
G. X
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