Thank you all i will try and call them as this weekend is looming and hate weekends thank you for reading my post linda always called me her rock but she was so much mine in so many ways im sorry that you wonderful people are on this journey too i wish i could change things for the better i really do but unfortunately i cant and we are stuck on this road leading to who knows what anymore that thought fills me with dread the plans all gone we have all made now only in memory that hurts for us all thank you @Flower1947 and @Tenpin also @silverfox for all you words and support i will try to maybe call them as the dreaded weekend is here i wish i did have family siverfox but apart from Linda’s mum here who is trying to grieve her beautiful daughter herself as no parent should lose a child really but it does happen sadly i have only Linda’s daughter 300+ miles away and she is grieving and trying to sort her wedding out on 22 march this year she has an awful lot to take on and is too far away to be able to just pop over and help her nan let alone me i will try and ring the samaritans if tonight gets like yesterday or tmoz thank you it means a lot hugs 
Martin x
To Martin
Don’t let yourself get to the edge. Phone them and the tears and words will just flow.
There is another site called Shout. You text shout to85258. They text you back a couple of times then they call. I’ve just been told about it. If I feel as bad as I did a few hours ago I’m gonna try them myself. Be kind you yourself love. Xx
Hi all
It’s all just so difficult isn’t it? I started off reasonably positive this morning and by 2 o clock ,surrounded by photographic equipment I have no clue about, I was a jibbering wreck again so sat on the sofa wrapped in a heated blanket doing nothing. Eventually I have just put most of it back where it came from. I just feel dead inside today
Flo56
Times a great healer they say, but times at a stand still for most of us.
Take your time (sorry) there’s that word give yourself it and keep on looking in here
For reassurance
Take care 
It is just so sad that so many of us are in the same place. I was with my husband Steve since I was 17 for 41 years and he passed away in May 2024 aged 61 after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the February. The world as I knew it stopped. My life is unrecognisable on my own and I don’t know how to be. We have 2 beautiful girls grown up and living nearby and I have work but nothing matters without him. I feel worse now than when he fits passed away. Everyone’s stories are so profound and I wish I had something really strong I could say to help you all through xx
While I’m in the middle of the misery we’re all suffering, it makes my heart sing to read everyone’s words. So much love and support on this site. Cannot possibly begin to fill the gaps left by our lost ones but, for me, sometimes it can soften the edges of the pain.
I’ve had a good day, only a few tears. I fully expect a few more at bedtime but I got through another day!
Sandie5
Just being on here shows your thinking of others.
@Tenpin i see you are in Sheffield, does the hospice there offer any counselling for you.
I lost my husband 17 months ago with lung cancer and my local hospice have been wonderful. Love Hazel x
Just wanted to ask how long you had to wait for counselling, ive been waiting 3 months for mine, the ring every now and again saying it will be 2 weeks but nothing yet
To yorklan
I’ve got onto a 6 week group course. Starts Tuesday. Hopefully being and talking to people in the same situation will help. I hope so. I’m fed up of myself and feeling like this. I’ve really had enough.xx
Time is great healer
To rob
I hope so rob. I can’t carry on like this anymore.x
@Tenpin I know that feeling tenpin I’m so tired of feeling so drained and not able to get things done around the house if linda was still here it wouldn’t be like this we be doing things together we were a team thats what she always said but its no team now just me trying to look after her mum and sort stuff out no time to think and grieve properly for my babe its just relentless trying to get things done but getting nowhere no motivation at all hugs to you i feel your frustration and pain
Martin
To Martin 64.
Thank you. Today I feel sick and numb at the same time. I’ve been trying to go out since 11am this morning. I’ve got nowhere. I keep mentally making lists of what I’ve got to do and done nothing! I’m starting to feel scared to go out the door so I know I’ve got to do something sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t wish feilike this on my worst enemy. X
@Tenpin Yes thats the feeling its horrid isn’t it i just looked out of the door to breath some air as i was just feeling dizzy and heart rate going crazy just at the very same thoughts too I’m trying to get a cattery to have our cat for Linda’s daughter wedding coming up in mid march and its a nightmare just doing that as I’ve found out they wont take them unless they have there vaccinations up to date with certificates and our little Ralph was a roamer from a house over the road who had him and they decided to get a dog that was bouncy and a bit crazy and he didn’t like it so ended up coming over to us and never left so we never got any paperwork for him and he not registered as he never needed medical help so now goto sort that asap before i can get him into a boarding cattery so me and Linda’s mum can go to wedding 300 miles away to give Linda’s daughter away as she was going to do it but obv that gone out the window now linda is not here now its just throwing more stress into my head as well as missing linda on top of everything it exhausting this grief just destroys you mind and thoughts doesn’t it brain fog we have def got that just want to curl up go sleep and not do anything it is so scary Martin x
@Tenpin
You don’t have to go out, it’s better if you can, but trying to force yourself is just making it harder.
Write down a few things from your mental lists, easy simple things. Maybe cook yourself something to eat, follow a recipe. You can get the ingredients delivered if you can’t face the shops. Although again, it’s better to get out.
Maybe call someone, or write a letter, then go out and post it!!!
Find your favourite photo of him or of both of you, have it enlarged and buy a nice frame. Place it where you’ll see it often to remind you of the deep love that is STILL THERE. The love will never fade or go away.
If you manage even just one thing from your list, you’ve achieved something and that’s what you build on.
Even this might be too difficult for you at the moment, we’re all at different stages with different ways to cope, but start with the written list and take it from there when you can.
I’m better on days when I keep busy or see friends or family. It’s still crap when you get home but at least it hasn’t been crap an entire day.
Having said all that, I sometimes choose to stay in my PJ’s all day, hang onto his t shirt and talk to his photo and ashes all day. Lot’s of tears.
I do what feels right for me on that day.
I hope this helps, this is such a bloody awful road we find ourselves on.
To flower and Martin.
Thank you. I’ve made it to my daughter’s. Sheffield is bed bound with Parkinson’s and ms. I’m trying to comfort her. It’s awful I thank you all for your kindness. But I feel I’m struggling and losing. I just want to sleep forever one way or another. I’m sorry. X
I wish I could help more practically.
Please reach out to Samaritans, Shout, cruse or Sue Ryder and make a call.
You might get lucky and one of them will know a way to help you in a practical way.
Tenpin being able to take the first steps and going out even to the bottom of the road and back.
There might be obstacles in your way as you go,just take a deep breath and say i’m here.
Take care:pray:
Keep going just take that first step even if it is just a few yards
And once done be proud of yourself
I remember getting on a bus on my own for the first time I just wanted to cry
By proud
