@Emz I too hate this existence. It’s not a life anymore. I will have to move from what was once a home we both loved but now I can’t bear being here on my own. Everywhere I look I expect to see him and I do in everything he has created but that just makes me more sad. I miss him every second of every day and still cry at some point throughtout the day and it’s not getting any easier.
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@Loobyloo2 Yes I feel your pain & know exactly where you’re coming from, I too have cried everyday since. Never thought this much emotional pain could exist. I think these people who die of a broken heart are so lucky.
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I looked after my Husband untill the end and i feel so lost do not know what to do with my self i would do anything to have him back again even though looking after him could be hard work but i loved him so much and would do all again if i could
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I’ve cried every day since I lost David. It’s absolutely exhausting. Grief is exhausting but still not sleeping brilliantly. I go to bed anywhere between 1 and 2 then it takes me ages to doze off. David would have a fit. He was always saying I should go to bed earlier but this is ridiculous even for me x.
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@sue11 me too in a heartbeat. I/we looked after my husband 'till the end. I still can’t believe he has gone and it’s coming up to twelve months. I’ll never get over it.x
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Know how you feel i am not sleeping my husband had colon and liver cancer and battled with it for a year and a half then was told he only had six months left but he said to me they do not know what their taking about i am not going any where your going to have to put up with me for years i am not going any where yet but i knew it was not going to be and when i go to bed all i keep hearing is him saying i am not going yet
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Just wish he was still here with me miss him so much
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I know. That feeling and longing for my man will be forever.x
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Sweetie,
You have summed it up in a nutshell.
It’s easy to become overwhelmed.
There was an elderly man on the news today saying when he lost his wife he felt like a lost soul.
That also said it all.
G. X
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Gosh reading the posts on here today,there’s a lot of pain out there.I do so wish I could help the anguish that everyone is feeling.All I can say is that for me it feels like a long dark tunnel and I am feeling my way into the light and I am only at the begining.Someone said to me which is worse losing someone to divorce or death,I haven’t been divorced but that person is still there,in death you have to come to terms with never seeing a person again and that is the hardest thing.As posts on here say,you keep expecting to see your partner but you know in reality you won’t and my goodness that’s hard to get your head around.
@Loobyloo2 you said you can’t bear to be in the home you shared,I’m the opposite I love having all his things around me,I can still smell his aftershave every now and again,I feel he is with me helping to cope.I still have a lot of his clothes etc to sort out and I have allowed myself the time to donate,without feeling rushed.You know you have to do this but it can be distressing ,but I will not be rushed into anything.
I do find it difficult to sleep as my mind goes back to Kevin and how ill he was at the end and I really shouldn’t go there for any sort of peace of mind.I try to read and fill my mind with anything that takes my mind away from all those thoughts and I eventually fall asleep but it’s not easy and I feel for people on here who can’t sleep.
My best wishes to everyone, knowing you are not alone I find helps.X
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Hi @Sweetie ,
I’m the same as you and would rather be in the house I shared with Richard than anywhere else. He is a part of it. We designed it together, he created a lot of the garden and made things we have within the house.
Sending love and strength to everyone on here. We’ll all look out for each other. xxx
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@KarenF
I will carry on trying to put some of Kevin’s ideas for the garden into practice so that will make me feel closer to him.I would have found packing up to move very distressing ,I don’t know if I will move,I doubt it there is too much of him in this house and I’m not planning to replace him and how will he find me if I move! X
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@Sweetie
I love driving Richard’s pickup - it will always be Richard’s , not mine. I love it that the neighbouring farming family still call the fields his too.
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@KarenF
If it makes you feel connected to Richard and gives you comfort I think that’s fine.Everyone on here has to cope whatever way they can so keep on trucking X
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I’m the same as you @Sweetie, I love being in the home we shared. All his things are still around. They don’t really upset me as they’ve always been there. Our bedroom is my sanctuary, my place of peace. I made myself go to bed the first night it happened. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t sleep for nights and, shamefully, it was a couple of weeks before I changed the bed as I could still smell him on his pillow. I’m always calm in there now. Love and strength to you all xx.
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Ive only posted on here twice but ive been reading your messages since i found this community in my hour of need on Christmas day. Its so comforting to know im not the only one going through this s###. Some of these posts have taken the words right out of my mouth, its like i could of wrote them myself. The not eating, not sleeping, i sleep mostly on the couch after staying up binge watching crappy tele, and I hate coming home to an empty house. I cant see how this is ever going to get better…
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Yes I’m going through my grief in a rollercoaster ride & to make everything I’m already suffering ten times worse my partner’s place of work is keeping me hanging whether I can have a job with them or not, said every week since before Christmas ring next week & we’ll let you know so it’s so up in the air & if I can’t get that job, I’m going to lose everything including my home.
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My husband had Alzheimer’s and died on Aug 5 last year. We were married 52 yrs, together for 57. He told me when he could still talk that he thought he had 10-15 yrs left. Bless his beautiful heart. Also said he wasn’t afraid to die. Everything he said and did was for me. He was a very intelligent man. So much of me died with him. We had no children and don’t live near family. I take care of what I have to. My interest in things is gone. All I want is peace and for the sharp edges of this pain to subside just a little. I miss him so much I hurt everywhere. My sweet beloved husband.
Peace and love to all. Karen
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So sorry for your loss my husband had cancer and we was told after a year and a half that the chemo was not working and he only had six months he said to me do not worry i know my body and i am not going any where yet you will have to put up with me for years it broke my heart when he said that knowing we did not have much longer together
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