Do whatever gets you through the night. Its a long road. Be good to yourself. This time of year we all ‘coorie doon’ to keep warm and secure. Take as long as you need.
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Ty for that I feel the same,
If other people feel the same I am not insane ……ty x
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I am so sorry to read this and am sure you are not a misery, people don’t understand, mean to help and say silly things. Take care of yourself and try to take one step at a time. Sending love and best wishes x
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@Fiona4 ,
You are not going insane,although it may feel that way,for a lot of people on here this is very recent and very raw for you.After 15 months I still have some terrible days,the acute pain I felt when I lost Kevin has settled now but it doesn’t take away the fact that I miss him terribly and everything we used to do together and I think I always will.I talk about Kevin with people who knew him and we laugh at things he would say and did.I don’t regard myself as a widow because I will always be his wife and I want his life to be remembered.I wish I could make things better for you,all I can say is this is very early days but eventually the very deep pain you feel does begin to calm down and you start to function in a different kind of normality.As I have said when I started this thread I was having a very bad day and unfortunately these feelings creep up on you and catch you out and their’s nothing you can do about it.I wish you the peace that I and everyone on here seeks as well.X
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Thank you all for responding to my text
I have sat holding hands with people that have died and felt sorrow, thought I knew bereavement ( I am a nurse not a serial killer x)
Nothing prepared me to nurse my husband for 6 months we were married for 32 yrs
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Dear skip i am a bit further down this roadif grief. All what you say i experienced as well. The weight of this grief doesnt go the weight gets lighter to carry. I do get out and about and leaning to cope/lessen the daily triggers. There is light at the end of this very dark tunnel but ib the early days you cannot see it due to the bends in the tunnel. Sending virtual hugs allen.
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Thanks @Allen2 . I just dont see the point in anything anymore. I dont have kids or pets to look after, the house is so empty. I cant face work yet, if ever. Its just so hard at the moment, id glad to hear theres light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks for your reply
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Its my birthday on monday, my first one without my gorgeous hubby and i dont know how to cope. I hate all these “firsts”
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Try to focus on the past beautiful loving birthdays you had with your beloved husband. I so agree all the “firsts” are agonizing. But we made it thru the holidays—maybe not real well, but here we are, trying the best we can in this awful journey.
Love & peace, Karen
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Thanks @Karetired. We always used to go away for our birthdays and have a birthday week. Ive found a birthday card off him from last year that i will put up, but its going to be just like any other day in this horrible existence. I wont be celebrating it.
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Hi Pat I can agree with u i lost my husband 10 months ago and like u it was just the 2 of us doing our own thing . I have tried do some things but i don’t feel comfortable on my own yet i hope in time this will change .
Take care
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I feel lost. I try everyday to go out and enjoy what I do but H is there all the time and the loss I feel it’s a huge hollow sadness deep inside. I don’t know if this will ever change but I send hugs to you all as we tread this journey together xx
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Will we ever find peace, that is a question I ask myself everyday. My beloved cherished husband died on Aug 5. He, no we battled Alzheimer’s. Married 52 yrs, together for 57. When he died I felt suspended in an alternative world. Even though I knew intellectually where all this was going the day we got his formal diagnosis, what I didn’t know was how long it would take for this horrible, horrible disease to take him from me. My intellectual and emotional self have not been on the same level, which I suspect is true for many of us. I am still working on acceptance of his death. Everything seems surreal. I have reached the realization that my life will never be the same, how could it be? I have absolutely no idea what my future looks like. I face each day doing what I have to. Just a little peace and the sharp edges of this agonizing pain to soften just a little is what I pray for myself and for all of you who are on this life changing journey.
Peace and love, Karen
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@Karetired
It’s very early for you at the moment the raw emotion does subside gradually and it’s taken me a long time for me to reach that stage.I am gradually starting to accept the fact I won’t see my husband again but it’s very hard.Everyone is different and lots of people on here are at different stages there is no one size fits all.When I look back I believe I have come a long way from where I was,this site has helped me to remain anonymous and to pour out my feelings without worrying about upsetting anyone else.I loved my husband very much and I miss him desperately and always will.I hope you and others will be able to find acceptance as you navigate this journey none of us wanted.x
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Sometimes I literally cannot believe I’ll never see him again. It just seems impossible. I’m just over 10 weeks along this nightmarish road.
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@Jean8 I am sorry for your loss. I am only a little further on than you and have felt the same. When I’m at places we visited together I cry and shout Di why aren’t you here? even though I know I will never see her again. It seems so pointless doing anything sometimes knowing that you always did it together.
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Jean8 12 weeks today for me. I feel your pain
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@Karetired You said exactly the feeling, surreal; it’s such an odd world we are now in, I recognise the places but they don’t feel the same & the future just petrifies me without her forever! 
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I agree. Everything seems unreal. I too worry about the future. Everything seemed stable and grounded when David was here. Now it feels like chaos.
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Thats the really helpful thing about posting here. You can say whatever you’re thinking without having to worry about it. My daughters also lost their father who was their rock too. I felt their grief but i couldn’t take it on my shoulders to get them through it. I couldn’t burden them with mine either. We were all floundering and finding others outside of our little family to confide in. This site was my refuge.
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