I am sitting here, missing my wonderful sweet, loving husband more than I have words for. Oh sure, I can get through the things I have to do. Things he always helped me with. But more importantly, doing the things we enjoyed together. It has always been just the 2 of us, happiness and joy elude me. The last several years have been devastating as he had Alzheimer’s. Watching someone who was so intelligent, funny, loving just slowly fade away, and to struggle to try and maintain has destroyed a lot of who I was. Imagine he told me “I have to try harder”. After 6 mos. I feel like I am not making any progress in this journey. I just miss him desperately.
Love and peace, Karen
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Hi I’m so sorry for your loss. Please do not beat yourself up. Take every day one day at a time. At the end of each day you have to say. I have done enough and whatever you have done has to be enough. Sometimes getting out of bed and cleaning your teeth is enough. You are very early on in the grief journey. I find it hard some days believing my H has gone and I am 20 months down the line. I have good days but I also have days when I cry. There is a longing that never goes away. I talk to H everyday as if he were still here. He is in spirit. When I walk Smudge who is my reason to get up and go out each day I have conversations with H. I kiss him goodnight and involve him in my life. I love him and will carry him with me whatever I do. I will love him until I die and that will never change. I want to carry on and make him proud and some days if that means just getting out of bed and walking Smudge that is enough. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs x
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Your right Nel,
Still with us - they’re just not here at the moment.
Regardless of how long you were with someone the longing will never leave you, half of you has gone - but where to?
If they are in your head and heart then they are never far away.
Just get through each day the best you can -
G. X
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@Nel & @Grandma,
I totally agree with you both in what you say.I am 15 months along now and things have settled a bit now but I still have bad days,I still wish Kevin was still with me sharing my life.Some on here are still at an early stage of grief and when I look back I have great sympathy for them as I know how hard it can be.I too talk to my husband and still find it hard to get out of bed but you do and you may feel like a robot going through the motions but what choice do you have?I keep him alive by talking about him even if it may upset anyone else I really don’t care,he’s my husband and always will be.
Take care everyone X
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I still talk to my Husband i tell him what kind of a day i am having i say good night love you every night to him and every morning i say good morning Alan and tell him what i am going to be doing that day and like you say his still my husband and always will be
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@Sweetie - yes, I talk about Richard every day too. Most people don’t mind I find, thankfully. If anything it helps their uncertainty about whether that’s ok or not.
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@KarenF ,
You are quite right most people don’t mind if you talk about your husband,I didn’t know how to approach people over loss of loved ones,frightened I may upset them.One relative of my husband couldn’t handle my grief when I got upset when talking about him and she hasn’t been in touch since his funeral.My family and friends will talk about and laugh with me about the things he used to say and do,so I’m very fortunate.
Take care X
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@Sweetie I had to reassure my daughter that nothing she said would upset me. I may cry but it’s not whatever she may have said which would be making me cry, it was Dad dying which did that and nobody can change that.
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I had lunch with some Canadian friends who come to Arizona for the winter. I haven’t seen them since my beloved husband died, they did know of his passing. They listened with so much compassion. But I have to say they are somewhat of an exception. I feel like most of the couples we socialized with have stayed away. At first supportive, but then I got comments like “let us know if you need anything, or let us know if you want to come over for wine”. Really, how about “we opened a bottle of wine, come over and have a glass with us”. I get it, life goes on for them. I don’t know, guess I am really sensitive now. Life just sucks.
Peace and love, Karen
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Hi, i remember a horrible incident after my mum died, the both of them were friends with two other couples & they used to meet weekly for lunch, my dad continued to go until they told him that the balance was wrong now he was on his own & they are replacing him with another couple so the balance is better.
I was furious and can still see my dads sad face, I wanted to go up there and wipe the floor with them 
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WHAT??? I’d have really given them the works! What a cruel, horrible thing to say. That has got to be up there with the worst things I’ve read along with one poor lady who was told “ you must be enjoying the freedom after 60 years of marriage”. It will happen to them one day, then they’ll know! I’m so sorry xx. Jean.
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Totally agree Jean8
To even be open so open about it. At least make a polite excuse. Disgusting behaviour.
Some people will only have tge 1st idea when it happens to them x
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@JaneD. I’m afraid my tolerance for insensitive, thoughtless idiots has hit rock bottom since I lost my husband.
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Grief is the opposite of freedom. What a heartless comment xx
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Surely that was the time dad needed most to be included ? It had been obviously discussed beforehand and that is really unforgivable from all involved.
It’s hard enough without “friends” like this.
G. X
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What you said has just incensed me. Being in the same position as your poor father, there is a,special place in hell for people like this!!!
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That is so disgusting @Flower_garden, I can’t believe they did that to him! I just hope that something comes back at them for being such uncaring, insensitive humans! xx
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In everything I have seen and heard since my husband became ill including the caring, nursing and witnessing him being sectioned, reading here about how your Dad was treated, adds to the depths of just how excruciating painful this life can be.
May your Dad find some moments of peace; he already has love, in abundance 
x
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I did get a slight revenge in the end, they turned up at my dads funeral !! Luckily I saw them when I got out of the funeral car, I went over to them & said they were not welcome and why, luckily they had the good grace to leave, I enjoyed there embarrassment, petty of me but most enjoyable 
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