Hello Daisy,
No, back to work on Monday.
Im busy driving my son to his training its taking an hour to get there and another hour to get back… so annoying as its so far away . training is for driving a tractor.
How are you?
Yeah i am ok thanks
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I know Love01 its so hard.
Hopefully, the GP can help you.
Its been a while now that you are feeling like this. I understand its so painful, I pray that speaking to GP can ease off some of your struggles. Its not easy to go through what your going through…
Thankyou so much for thinking about me i was at my counciling today it was another hard day but i have got psd because of the trumma he feels and know how much i am hurting
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That’s good you had your counselling. Its not easy and very draining what your going through. Its devastating what happen to you and its not surprising you feel the way you feel. Be kind to yourself Love01. You are doing well and sharing things here on group chat. Hopefully its helping even a little.
I sound strong just now but somedays I do feel it and it is not easy.
Hope you manage have something to eat.
We are here for you and you are not alone.
Take care.
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That’s what I was told, I have PTSD. But it was not confirmed and diagnosed. After taking care of my husband for a year with intense chemo and radiotherapy I went on autopilot. I felt I was numb and just did what i need to do.
It was hurtful and torture the whole experience. My children watching their dad dying slowly. It was horrible. And me, I was keeping my diary full with appointments from different charities to support me then medical team. i did not have time to process what was happening. Until now…
You can do it too, Love01. With people here to support you.
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Hi brummy,
It will be six months since the funeral, i am about 3 weeks ahead off you on the path, but like i got told, time is irrelevant on the path.
Please look after yourself this weekend, you are going to have a lot of thoughts. Just do what is best for you. Which will probably include some sweet peas for your wife.
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Been a really lonely day today i have particularly struggled.
It may be because a birthday is soon i really dont know. Just not great
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Daisy24,
I am sorry, you have had a bad day. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
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Thankyou hope your day has been better than yesterday and tomorrow is better
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Sorry to hear this Daisy. Its so hard when days like that comes…please take care…
Another day passed everyone… Hope tomorrow will be a bit better for us.
take care everyone…
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Take care Brummy.
Thinking of you and everyone here…
Good morning everyone…
New day awaits for us.
Another busy day for me… Cant believe its Friday again!!!
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Good morning all
Lets hope for a slightly better day than we all had yesterday to see us into the weekend which is always hard for everyone x
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Good morning Daisy24, and everyone else.
Take care.
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Good morning to everyone. Wondering if Johnr is ok? He hasn’t posted for a day or so and he’s usually here to say ‘good morning/evening’.
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Johnr is fine he says he is taking a few days to recharge his batteries.
I am sure he will be back when he is ready
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@Nightwish1
Good morning,
I will be thinking of you this weekend, knowing it will be very difficult marking 6 months since your dear Sue passed.
I hate to ask, but will anyone phone or visit?
I am so sorry. I wish none of us were in this horrible situation.
I am finding things are becoming more difficult for me as the days and weeks go by.
Every day seems to pour a bit more “cement” into the realisation that Michael is gone and is not coming back and that’s really painful… a real physical pain which tears into me.
Also, with each day, it feels like his physical presence is moving slightly further and further away.
I still can’t get my head around the fact he is no longer here, along with our plans, hopes and dreams for our future.
I am struggling and don’t feel I am coping very well, as the intense feeling of loss and sadness is always there, and never leaves me.
It weighs me down and is causing me anxiety and panic.
I find the mornings particularly difficult, excruciating in fact… it’s the time of day that I used to love and embrace, I suppose because my life was so happy and “sorted” and we were always busy with plans.
The future was a safe place and there was nothing to fear… or so I thought… little did I know the full blown destruction cancer would cause to our lives.
I see my neighbours going about their normal lives, nothing has changed, and I feel so much “the odd one out” and so detached from the world, like a stranger looking in through a window.
My life stopped when my darling Michael took his last breath nearly 9 weeks ago.
I can’t see any kind of meaningful future at all, other than somehow getting through each day, and existing, and even that is so painful and exhausting.
I look around at the home we used to love and care for with so much hope and pride… and I think “just what is the point of this now, it doesn’t mean anything without my soulmate by my side”.
We chose everything together and it was all done with so much love and “HOPE” for our future, thinking we had decades ahead of us.
It kills me to think that’s all gone now.
Thinking of happy memories doesn’t help, they’re a very painful reminder of the life and future we’ve been cheated out of.
Our lives were completely and very happily intertwined, so I feel so much less than even half a person without my darling Michael.
Nothing interests me at all.
The vibrant and energetic drive, motivation and zest for life I used to have and share with the love of life, no longer exists. It’s gone.
All I feel is, very deep sadness, loss, loneliness, emptiness and despair.
The one person who knew “ME” in this world… loved me unconditionally, cared for me, protected me and shared so many life experiences with me, my life history… is gone now.
I am completely lost without Michael and there is nothing I can do about it.
There is so much uncertainty now… it’s just so daunting.
Although I don’t have any motivation, I am constantly worrying about everything… all the practical stuff / decision making / maintaining our house and garden / running and maintaining a car (which is needed in the countryside/lack of public transport) paying bills / financial responsibilities and the loss of my partner’s income. These are all very real worries and concerns and the future terrifies me.
I’m sorry… didn’t realise how much I have gone on about.
Life has been so extremely cruel to us.
Thinking of everyone desperately missing and longing for their loved ones.
Eve x
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Thanks, Daisy24. We kind of get used to each other posting!
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Eve, even though we know the inevitable is going to happen, we can never prepare for it, can we? All we could do was to show them all the massive love we had (and still have) for them while they were still with us. It’s nearly 18 weeks since Ian died here at home. We’d been together for 55 years. He had an awful lung disease (idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis) which caused scarring in his lungs, making it harder and harder to breathe. He was on oxygen all of the time and it was just awful for him. If I could have suffered it for him, I would have, although I wouldn’t have wanted him to go through this terrible grieving that I’m going through now.
All the things you’re now fearful of, I have also felt. Things will gradually come together, though. It all takes time, the financial side of things, the garden, the car, etc, etc. It doesn’t all happen at once. I know today I won’t see anyone, but I’ll go into the garden, messy as it is now, and feed the birds. I’ll water the rose I planted for him, above where his ashes are buried. One day at a time, Eve.
Anne x
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