Good morning. I learned a new routine: arms up with a deep breath and then a slow exhale as you reach around and pat yourself on the back for being here now 
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Not a good morning in fact one of the worst.
I thought for the first time in months I’d read a few of the many WhatsApp messages from John to me and they’ve disappeared.
I am totally distraught and can’t stop crying. I didn’t delete them as they’re so important so where have they gone.
I can’t remember Johns id on his phone so I can’t look back on there.
I’m desperately trying to find how to recover them but scared they might go forever. I’m not iPhone savvy..
It’s just so distressing..
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I dropped my phone that had all our recent pictures and they could not be recovered. I am so sorry and I hope you can find them. Your service provider may be able to help you if you can find a phone number and have your username and his.
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@Mitzi1 I am so sorry to hear about your messages , I would also be so distraught .
Maybe go into a mobile phone shop and ask their advice to see if they can be recovered by a back up or any other way . so sorry 
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Hi Mitzi1,
I’m really sorry to hear about the deleted WhatsApp messages. Sadly, to maintain security, limit data retention, and protect the privacy of users, WhatsApp accounts are generally deleted after 120 days of inactivity. I’m so very sorry.
Eve x
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This may work
you can recover deleted WhatsApp messages if you have a recent backup (iCloud for iPhone, Google Drive for Android) from before the messages were deleted; the process involves uninstalling and reinstalling WhatsApp, then choosing to restore from the backup when prompted, but you’ll lose any messages sent after the backup. Without a backup, recovery is difficult and might require third-party tools, though WhatsApp doesn’t store chats on its servers for recovery.
For iPhone (iCloud Backup)
- Check Backup: Go to WhatsApp Settings > Chats > Chat Backup to see your last backup date.
- Uninstall: Delete WhatsApp from your iPhone.
- Reinstall & Restore: Download from the App Store, verify your number, and tap “Restore” when prompted to get messages from the iCloud backup.
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Thank you I’ll give it a go.
I’m just so upset I’ve had tears all day..
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I hear ya 
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Tried but still missing…
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I’m so sorry 
I know it’s not much help but you have your memories and photos but I too would be devastated.
Sending you a big 
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Hi Nightwish1,
How have you been keeping?
I don’t post on here very much at all, as returning to work full-time, takes up most of my time.
However, I do try to read the posts as frequently as I can.
It helps to know that I’m not alone on this awful path that none of us want to be on.
You’ll be pleased to hear that I am eating better now… I don’t suppose I could have carried on surviving on tea and toast forever!
It will be 8 months for me on the 16th, and life is still just as lonely, painful, worrying and empty and as it was.
Time has most definitely not been a healer, but work gives structure to my day and gets me out of the house, whether I feel like it or not, although I find it so tiring.
It still is, and always will be, a case of one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
That’s all I can do.
I try not to think about the future, as it terrifies me.
I hope you are managing in the best way you can.
Are you still going to the bereavement cafe?
Take care.
Eve x
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Hi HeartofGold,
I’m glad your still around and eating better.
You just have a try and manage the best you can. Remember 8 months is still early. I hope you have found someone to talk to.
Yes I am still going to the coffee mornings, still hit and miss. I’m glad your getting out, even if it’s just to work and hopefully shopping. I think it’s all tiring, because grief takes so much out of us.
I have managed to start reading again, sometimes even for a hour. So that’s a plus. Not done any painting yet, but watched a video on someone else painting. The grief is still here and will always will be. Please keep looking after yourself. Are you sick of toast now 
.
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So after making sure I was up by 7am for my new tv to be delivered, it finally arrived at about 1.30. I think I’ve got it all set up & working now, just need to find my way around the remote control. Never did get the email giving me a delivery slot for it.
Hope everyone’s had a not too bad a day.
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Don’t throw it yet Media has been helpful for me as well
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Johnr I find your greetings and comments so uplifting and positive . Thank you,it does help.
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I am glad that your eating better I still not had a proper meal I just still take toast or cheese or jam with my toast I have tried to eat something from the chip shop but I struggle I eat some of it but I am really struggling I do get counselling but not really sure if it’s helped much but I am trying I cry constantly I go to work wearing a mask I just really miss my wife it’s really hard when I don’t have any friends or family I am really longing for my wife I do wish it would ease a bit every thing I do from day to day is reminders of us together I am 39 weeks this Saturday since I lost my beautiful wife so suddenly but I am glad that your eating again even I its just a small amount and it’s nice to hear that your still around please look after yourself and take care
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Morning Everyone
Why the hell have I gone so far backwards.
I’m usually such a positive person but finding it very difficult after losing the chats between me n John.
As soon as I woke up this morning I’m fighting back tears. I want to carry on moving forward but feel so bl..dy fed up and distraught not really wanting to do anything again…
Missing John desperately as confidante, best friend, lover, the best listener and advisor.
This rollercoaster is not the best ride I’ve been on..
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I think knowing it’s the year anniversary coming up doesn’t help things.
I know it’s not the same but coming on here to chat or rant can help.
Sending you a big virtual @Mitzi1 x
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It’s exhausting holding ourselves together every day, trying to make the best of a life that we haven’t chosen. A knock like the one you’ve just had reminds us how fragile we are and how much effort we have to put in just to keep going. Your positivity will come back, but give yourself a break and try not to over-think it in the meantime.
I had a telephone assessment with Cruse yesterday and the man said about imagining myself sitting on the edge of a river and being aware of all the scary thoughts I’m having about the future going past me on the river. I can acknowledge them, but I don’t need to engage with them until I’m ready. That helped a bit.
The anniversary will be difficult. Try to be gentle with yourself and recognise how well you’ve been doing x
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Morning everyone,
a bit late today as boiler being replaced.
I hope you are all having the best day possible.
Big hug x
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