Our home is tech to I was the tech guy my wife was not to good at some things to do with tech but I got her used to doing things now everything seems so pointless our forever home is so sad I still look for my wife and keep wishing I could see her I loved watching her do her crocheting or dimond painting I have been really low and crying all the time
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I keep telling myself that the point in getting up in the morning, in keeping the house tidy, in taking care of our cats and our ferrets, in forcing myself to eat, and all the other things I don’t have the energy to do is that that’s what Mark would want me to do. It hurts more than anything has ever hurt, but I’m trying my best to keep going. Otherwise, all the love that he poured into our life together will be wasted. If that makes sense? Easier said than done when I feel like my own life has become pointless, but I will continue to try to honour his memory.
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I am doing things in honor my wife I am getting the garden done I have got the garden centre to do flowers for the plant pots that she was trying to do everyday is so hard
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That’s exactly how I feel. I’m sack myself, “Is this what she would have wanted?” To somethings I have done the answer is “no”. But if she wants to come back and tell me off that would be great.
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Nightwish1
I am dreading the new year too, i feel the same as you the start of a new year without my dear wife.I fear for the future too without my dear wife beside me.Thank you for your understanding and everyone on here too.i dont know what i would do if i hadnt found this site.A new year will be approaching but it will still be another day without my dear wife.It may say 2016 but will still be sadness and loneliness and emptyness in my life which once contained so much joy and hapiness.
Take care
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That is a lovely thing to do. We loved gardening together, so I’m going to try my best to keep up with it too. The thing I find hard though is that, when you feel momentary happiness at doing something positive, it hurts even more when you realise that it doesn’t actually change anything.
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I love this 
I turned the fridge up the other day and ended up freezing a dozen eggs by accident. Mark would have shook his head and said ‘Every time…’.
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Norma1
thank you so much for your understanding.My dear wife was also 66 when she passed so suddenly.Its broken my heart.she had the rest of her life suddemly taken from her.this will always be her home she loved so much.she so loved her garden and her home.I tried to keep her flowers she loved in her pots going last year.66 is no age Norma, i know there is never o good time to lose anyone whatever their age.She had her retirement and our future plans taken from us.Its all so cruel.we had no children its just me now here.Like you everything seems to be breaking down or going wrong.theres so much responsibilty now too, so much worry.She was such a loving ,caring kind gentle person.Its always the best that are taken from us.I have to have a gardener now, its so big to manage the garden on my own.Take care.
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Well today is travelled to Belgium on a coach with 35 other people. I knew none at 1pm today and wondered how my trip would go. By 4pm we were sat talking to each other and at 8pm on arrival at the hotel it was as if we all knew each other from years ago.
I can honestly say if you can afford it get away on a trip meet new people, not all are widows or widowers, talk to people you will be surprised at how it lifts you out of the way you properly are feeling.
Its good to laugh and to smile it makes you remember who you are and what you can be
X
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Well done for going. Yes, I think my only way out of this black hole is to keep meeting new people. I’m up for that. Mark, my lovely partner, was totally great at meeting new people and helped me be more confident with people I didn’t know. So I am a lot better than I used to be. I’m hoping I can be brave. Have a lovely time.
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Hi, please could you tell me which solo travel company you are using for your travels? I want to do what you are doing when I am ready.
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Yes, definitely very tough. I will be pleased when I have done the celebration of his life service on 19th January. They’ve given me 30 mins for the service before drink and something to eat. That doesn’t seem very long at all to say all the things that should be said!!
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I’m awake too. I hate going to bed these days, usually fall asleep on the settee, and then go to bed and try to sleep, that doesn’t work either. Oh my gosh that is beautiful, sums up everything so well. I replay everything in my mind, the last word, the last look, and I can’t remember the last time he told me he loved me because he couldn’t go there. It was too painful for him to even discuss his diagnosis, so it didn’t happen. I told him I loved him every day, but he couldn’t say it back. I don’t know why
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I go with Leger coaches and pick solo holidays. But lots of other options for solo travel.
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Well back from Lanzarote after weathering my first christmas without Sharon at least i had the company of my son , but i have returned a grandfather after the birth of my first grandchild so the New year is bitter sweet for my first visit to see him as Sharon new about him but also she would probably never meet him, its a hard time for everyone on here but the world does go on and its a case of trying to reconnect without our loved ones, take everything slow ,but take a step and hopefully you will all find a new normal life that is happier and fulfilling our loved ones would want that for us all i’m sure my best wishes to you all
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Congratulations Grandad 
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I couldn”t sleep either John and yes that is very true 
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Congratulations on the birth of your grandson.
It’s such a happy time, bittersweet for you but this little one will give so much joy and bring so much laughter to the family…
You’ll be looking for your loved one in his face and you’ll find her…
My youngest granddaughter looks like me but then again her dad n I are mirror images.
Strangers always know we’re mum n son.
He’s not sure if that’s a blessing or not.
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