Yes very. It certainly is the worst. I watched my husband pass as he had been diagnosed with a brain tumour last Oct, it was the worst thing ever, it was like it wasn’t him a lot of the time. I never want to go through that again.
I feel things have got a little better when I look back. Just take small steps at a time. I know when the nausea starts it’s like it’s never going to end. Luckily I got 2 of my daughters to come over the other day. One of my daughters came yesterday. it helps distract me a bit and cope a bit better.
My really bad days do seem to get better by tea time, but that’s only just started being like that.
I thought about volunteering but on my bad days I really couldn’t face it yet. It’s good if you can.
When all this happened I couldn’t even have my grandchildren here, but I can now. I went upto pick them up with my daughter last week, felt like I was getting anxious, anyway it was ok. Now IV been, I’ll be able to go again.
My husband was coming home on Friday and died on Thursday . He loved his life and adored his life with me . I loved our life together . He was my one and now he has gone . I have no family , we had no children together . Our dog died a short while ago also . For all the anguish and pain of loss I now feel I would marry him again tomorrow if he were to ask me . I am so grateful for the time we had together , he was such a gentleman , so old school , so noble and decent . We were perfectly matched . He said he loved me to distraction . This is why we allow love into our hearts . To experience the joy of life and love with a special person , someone we will never forget . We will allow them to continue to live through us , we take them with us as we continue through life , we take the memory of them and share this with them as we speak to them and remember them with joy , love and gratitude for the time we had with them xxx . These feeling you have now are so raw and so sharp but time will soften the edges and make the loss more bearable . You will never forget them but you owe them the gift of living your life for them and learning to smile again .
I’m not there yet , It’s a work in progress .
I’m truly beside myself with grief as I write this to you and I hope this helps you in some way .
I cared for my father hands on and at the end of his life my mother had a few TIA’s with upset at losing him , they were married for over 60 years , this started her vascular dementia which then turned into Altzheimer’s . I cared for them both myself with my husband’s help . After my parents died my husband started to need more care and now he has gone . I loved them all so much . I would not wish to change my life one iota because throughout all the illness death and the deep sense of loss there has been joy laughter and memories made , good memories which I would not have now were it not for the time I spent with them all loving them and caring for them all until the end …. My only sadness , that I now have nobody , my sister is dead and my brother is ‘challenged ‘ and can never be a brother in the true sense of the word nor can he ever take a place within society but he is tall handsome and although he can’t speak I can see he is a deep thinker and warm hearted as his eyes sparkle when he sees me so I know I am special to him , he recognises me as family on an instinctual level and he is happy to see me . This means the world to me . It’s these things which make life love and loss worth engaging with xxx live on … live well … you will survive this and you will believe if or not slowly begin to feel better . My thoughts are with you
Hi, thank you for taking time to connect with me. Your journey although very sad, personal and full of grief was a pleasure to read in regards to how positive you are. I truly hooe that i can be as positive one day.
I am struggling enormously with it all and do feel that there is no way out, im just clinging on tbh thank you for connecting, take care x
I felt as you describe truly , it’s now 4 months and although I still get the feelings they are not so frequent nor so debilitating . The panic attacks , the breathing problems and shakes , the fear and dread that something dreadful is about to happen again have lost their edge a little,l. Your feelings will ease with time . We all grieve in our own unique way . It’s all part of the grieving process . Give yourself the grace of self care , kindness and time to grieve in your own unique way . Take the time ‘you ‘ need . Thinking of you . Be strong , hang on in there and find distractions , as many distractions as you can to divert your mind when you find yourself going down that dark rabbit hole .
I hope I can be like you. My husband was my friend also. We did alot if things together, holidays, weekends away, even shopping. I miss him dearly. I take note of what you say, and one day hope I can think like you. IV been struggling today. I have family but they can only do what they can, they all work and have family. I know it’s early days yet. I will get there.
Terrible day today for me, the grief has been non stop. Im hoping its a little calmer tomorrow. Take care and i sincerely hope that eventually we will get there
Try and get some sleep, not easy I know but it can help the day after.
I really hope you have a better day tomorrow but if not just remember our loved ones are with us.
I’m absolutely sure they are.
Night night
I think the mornings are the worst time, i do feel shaky too, think its our nerves that gave been shattered. I try to ficus on things but sojetines just slump and give up
I also find morning’s hard. I generally wake up at 3am ,then try and get back to sleep but i am mainly think about Sue. The last couple of morning’s i have got out of bed about 7 ish feeling numb. Then something will trigger the tears. Since Sue got diagnosed i was going to bed at 9 pm as i was getting up early to get everything ready for her, medication etc. So at 9pm i used to go to bed as all that was done, but still on alert after telling each other we loved each othet and a kiss. So i am still going to bed at 9 and i look forward to it as that’s when i talk to her and hope i see Sue again in my sleep. Apart from Fridays, Friday is nightmare time where i relive that night in detail.
It seems that we all had processes when caring for our loved ones. Its hard to shake off and I can relate to your statement. The nughtmare of my Tracy was a Tuesday, such dustressing memories. I wish i could change them
I went through the nightmare with my husband from October last year, he had a fast growing tumour, they gave him 3-4 months to live. He was in hospital from November, then went into a nursing home. I was with him everyday, it was terrible seeing him change.
All I think he’s at peace now. I talk to him. It’s very hard. All my days are different.
. To experience the joy of life and love with a special person , someone we will never forget . We will allow them to continue to live through us , we take them with us as we continue through life , we take the memory of them and share this with them as we speak to them and remember them with joy , love and gratitude for the time we had with them xxx . These feeling you have now are so raw and so sharp but time will soften the edges and make the loss more bearable . You will never forget them but you owe them the gift of living your life for them and learning to smile again .
. My thoughts are with you 
