That made me cry. Lovely, just lovely. Thank to you and your brother.
I am so sorry for your pain. Iām almost a year in, fewer anxiety attacks, mostly a dull permanent ache and a world with no joy in it.
3 Likes
I actually had a good experience with my bank. A couple of days after my husband died I received a scam call. I rang the bank and explained I had recently been bereaved. They confirmed it was a scam and the lively young man in the phone sent me a bouquet of flowers. My solicitor is dealing with my banks and my financial advisor is dealing with the pensions. Worth every penny to take away the hassle plus they know what they are doing and have the contacts
2 Likes
I think I unsubscribed to this conversation by mistake. and I donāt know how to get back in. I donāt even know if this will post. Iām typing this on and old email I kept. Have contacted Sue Ryder team and hope they can help me. I hope everyone is hanging in there and I hope to be back soon.
2 Likes
Another day just trying to get through its been 3 weeks now my husband has been gone but the days seem to be getting harder and longer, i have done lists, filled my days with doing the things on my lists or having people around but my head is all over the place i hear what people are saying but then struggle to process it or forget whats being said or what we are doing how are you all coping with your days as, like me you are all struggling the same grief and emotion, thank you all for trying to help and support me big hugs to everyone this is such a hard journey xx
5 Likes
Hey Boop, It will pass as all things do. What your going through is so normal for those who have lost their loved ones. I thought Iād never stop crying or smile again but eventually I did. Donāt get me wrong that wave still sweeps over me and probably always will but it gets less and less. I thought I was going mad, I did things like turning the freezer off, forgetting all sorts of things. Trust me when I say your strong, stronger that you thought you could be and you will come through this terrible time. Time will help you heal. Sending love your way. I wish Iād know about this place years ago and I hope this helps a little.
1 Like
Hi.
Iām so sorry for your loss. It will be seven weeks tonight since my husband passed suddenly and unexpectedly.
Iāve tried to do the same. Make a list of what I need to do each day and try and get through the list, but have struggled to concentrate on anything. It feels like I am walking through treacle.
Iāve realised that you just do things when you think you can, but when itās getting too much, just stop.
I find I donāt know how I will be until it happens. Thought yesterday was kind of ok, then after a bad dream last night Iāve woken up in a complete mess, sobbing for hours.
Take good care of yourself xxx
1 Like
Stowie, your so right, few things are really that important and most things can wait until you feel you want to or can do them. I watched TV and then couldnāt remember what happened or even what Iād watched. I found it so difficult to even eat, food tasted like ashes. Cry your heart out, cry as often as you need, be angry, itās all part of this terrible grief. You will come through this.
3 Likes
I am surprised. After 7 weeks I have had a couple of days when I havenāt cried all day. I think I have done all the practical things of changing accounts and selling his car. My neighbours and good friends are keeping me positive. I finally feel I can see other people. Not next week but week after going to book for a lunch event run at local centre. Transport provided which makes it possible. I canāt believe it has only been 7 weeks it feels like I have been without him forever.
3 Likes
Thank you for your kind words. I know things have to move on, but the overwhelming emotions of sadness, anger and how unfair this all is just seems to hit you like a truck.
Reading these messages does help to know youāre not alone.
Thank you xx
3 Likes
I suspect that my ex career has made the practical side easier for my. I was an IT project manager and support consultant so managing things is in my DNA. Also my specialisation was accounts. The practical is easy. The emotional is harder for me. I wish I could stop poisoning myself with my cooking. I read the instructions. Do it at the temp and time plus a bit and still get tummy problems. Not that I want to eat.
4 Likes
How about some soup, easy to swallow or beans on toast with grated cheese but donāt burn the toast!
Good idea. Though I could probably burn the soup. We have lots of soup as before he went into hospital it was about all my husband could stomach. So far not burnt the toast. But I think that has more to do with the toaster than me.
1 Like
That made me laugh. My husband could eat very little and soup was always a good stand by. I used a lot up by adding it to pasta, stew, casserole well anything really, in fact I still have some left, it keeps for years thank goodness.
Thank you everyone just knowing others are trying to deal with the same things, the practical side, the daily functions which just dont happen as they should my body goes through the motions but my head seems to be on a go slow as everything i do needs thinking about and processing, today emotions overwhelmed trying to involve our adult children in decisions has got stressful as i forget to communicate properly or one starts to help me but the others get upset so i drove to the coast to one of mine and my husbands favourite spots it was hard as we did it together with our dogs, ordering coffee for one felt so sad but sitting talking to him was comforting in some sort of way but everyone is helping i am so pleased i joined this group, thank you everyone for your support and sharing simple struggles i have burnt the soup and toast as i forgot i had put them on, i switched off the fridge instead of the microwave so feel better knowing it isnt just me big hugs xx
3 Likes
Reading all the replies has made me feel better today. I had a bad experience at the bank this morning, which left me panicking about dealing with the finances. But I just need to take things one day at a time or even one hour. Thank you. I feel calmer knowing that there is a community out there beyond these quiet four walls.
4 Likes
I am glad I made you laugh. Somehow I still manage to see some humour in things even if I do cry every day. Just finding my husbands watch that Iām have been looking for since he died cheered me up and made me feel he was looking over me. If he would only do the same when I am attempting to cook
2 Likes
Good morning everyone, remember to smile at least once today.
3 Likes
Good morning frankie2. I actually managed to cook something edible last night and havenāt poisoned myself so things are already looking up. Thank you for your positive words.
3 Likes
One of the thing I found so difficult is cooking for one. I always cook too much so now I just cook for two days and is great as I have a day off cooking or a meal frozen for when I want that food again. I find it works best with stew, curry or chilly no con carne. Iām glad you didnāt poison yourself as Iād hate to lose a new friend! Each little triumph lifts our spirits and we certainly all need that. Today the sun is out, well in and out, and Iām feeling a little more positive. I sank into depression for a long while and still do from time to time but the passing of time has made me more resilient. The year my eldest son died, it was so unexpected, I didnāt want to go on but a few weeks later out in the garden I saw two little black and white faces looking up at me. Two tiny feral kittens. They adopted me and have been with me through thick and thin for ten years. They helped me through the loss of my husband as well. They give me a reason to get up in the morning. So thankful for that.
5 Likes