How to live alone after loosing my partner of 13 years

Midnight but did manage to get Back up again 5 tv on makes the house feels some one here x

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I live in our house, just me and our cat! Surrounded by photos and happy memories of her in happier times! Whilst I have only lived here since 21 I bought the bungalow from the family after my stepdad passed away so the house has happy memories of my mum and my daughters loved spending time here with mum.

I have trouble sleeping since Elissa passed away, Wednesday night was about 4 hours, last night was better because I was exhausted and took a sleeping tablet to help me. I retired 31/12 to spend time together so I take each day as it comes and do what I can cope with!

Just decorating and I take it at a pace I am comfortable with getting it done properly and taking my time !

The furry monster is a lovely little companion and I don’t feel alone with him around

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@Martin2
I totally understan d how you feel .My wife went 16 Jan. and I can’t move anything.Everything I touch is where she put it. I can’t see myself ever bei g able to sort through all her things You’re not alone keep talkung on this site.

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Thanks lee just wish it was a bad dream

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I think one thing i will do is make a memory box of her and keep some very special items in there (its something my wife did for my stepdad when my mum passed away 10 years ago). I will then sort her room and identify somethings which were really special to her and I so that i have them with me forever as i move forward. Its not logical (but then emotions and logic are different things) to keep everything indefinitely but its a plan for how I can move forward when im good and ready (my timescale, not anyone elses).

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I have a memory box with some things in here old bday cards and how watch and soon I will put his phone in and I have two photo albums filled with photos of me and Chris

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Yeh im gonna do that - sort a memory box … just not done it yet … need to get a nice box - i know that whsmiths do some really pretty boxes or even the range … xx

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Hi Lauren how soon did you do this. I no I have to at some point but can not 7 weeks. My girls said they come round put it in bags no I keep saying not yet x

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Finding coping strategies to enable you to see a way forward is so important for getting your life back on track ! A memory box is an ideal way to collect some precious items and memories together.

Thinking of you all on your own journeys.

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Do you think … drpends how far you have come on doesnt it? I dont think doing a memory box will make any difference to me regarding making new friends etc or stop me from missing my husband either but i do think its a good idea to do it … we just have to do stuff at our own pace dont we - everybodys different - no right or wrong. x

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When I am up at night and can’t get back to sleep what’s going through my mind most of the time is the voice of the police telling me on the phone to go back to the office and find someone to sit with first before she could tell me- finally she said my angel had passed away after I insisted several times that I couldn’t wait until the I got back to the office. Again and again I keep hearing that voice so I start talking to my angel telling him I love and miss him and sorry I wasn’t there to hold him during his last moments - I talk to him until the time to get up
Life is so meaningless without my angel :broken_heart:

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No approach will suit everyone but how do we move forward ! Time doesn’t stand still. As I begin to make changes I will update my house, I’m not intending to leave her room / wardrobe as a mausoleum and live in a time warp personally so a memory box helps me capture my precious memories and moments!

Perhaps a bottle of her favourite perfume, her wedding and engagements rings and other special artefacts …… her photos and her artwork will always be around the house ! I still say good morning baby when I see her photo every morning !

It won’t serve any purpose to have 3 wardrobes of clothes however ……

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@Lauren29 so sorry for your loss.
The silence is terrible, but I’m trying not to put on music or the radio, but to learn to live with it. I do talk to him a lot, though.

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Yeh you do it how you want. Im moving forward by making new friendships but each to his own i suppose … we have to do it how we feel best x

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I done this after a month and a bit put some things in it like it was hard but I’m going to add more into it as I think all Chris things are in the wardrobe and his hair and skin products are all still in one section of the wardrobe very hard for me to see photos of him too

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Yes indeed, each of us has our own journey ahead ! I’m not quite sure of my destination or the route - just navigation by karma !

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Great to hear that you’re making new friendships- that’s certainly a positive step towards. I’m slowly building a new normal and it’s one step at a time

Hope that’s working well for you

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Thanks yeh … i think it is but i know its all so hard … up one minute down the next and the fear of where our destiny will lead us. If.i get chance next week might start a box a bit at a time … its so hard isnt it … ive not moved any of his stuff … its as if he is still here apart from in physical form … :frowning: i feel like i have 2 lives … one is the old one with him and one is the new life going forward … made new dog walker friends… people say im doing well but dont feel it some days - a lot of family crap going on at moment which is making it hard too … xx

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The road is far from smooth that’s for sure, take it at your own pace!

I haven’t touched Elissa’s room yet ! Will get my daughter to help when I’m ready- she’s been priceless and the little ones lift me on any day!

Like you I have family complications and I’m keeping my sister in law at bay and not letting her in in / near the house, she’s one of those ‘entitled’ types and even Elissa often said ‘don’t leave me alone with her’

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Oh i got a lot of "entitled " types in my family … they drive you up the wall dont they … most people in my family seem to think they know better than me how to deal with grief … even though im the one going through it … so heartless they are … i found some people were fine in the first month before the funeral and then i think people get bored and just wanna get on with their own life … sad but true … even my kids … so youre lucky you got a good daughter xx

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