How will we cope at Christmas

Thanks Richard-- Just your brief message shows your kindness in remembering us on this message thread.
Thanks again for thoughtfulness - it means a lot to us.
Herb

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I decided, along with our son and our daughter that our first Christmas without Alan we would do it differently, I told everyone I wasn’t sending cards nor giving presents, the first one I received addressed to just me broke my heart, I didnt put any decorations up nor the tree, just made a Sunday lunch on the day, then we spent 3 hours playing the Manchester edition of Monopoly, This was Alan’s. we actually had our Christmas dinner, the way Alan liked it, including Christmas crackers on his birthday, including, as he called it, sherry with trifle, in the February, the first birthday without him .

Last Christmas, our 2nd without Alan, I put the tree up, that was very emotional, as we always did it together, with him putting the lights on and the angel on the top, I also decorated the window and put our wreath on the front door, and we did it differently again, this time, we had Christmas dinner at our son’s on Christmas Eve and a buffet lunch on Christmas day. this year, our 3rd, we’re going to order lots of M&S Christmas delicacies, we’ll still have our Capon and the pork, which he always loved,

somehow, as our Christmases will never be the same no matter how we try, I’ll probably keep having different Christmases until one resonates as being the new different Christmas.

We all go through the Christmas period as best we can and in a way that makes it more bearable for each and everyone of us. My birthday on New Year’s Eve will be more emotional this year, first one spent at home in over 20 years but more so as it is a milestone birthday that I always believed Alan to be here to celebrate with me, alas he isn’t.

how ever each of you decide the best way to cope with Christmas, you do so in the way that is best for you personally. This is all any of us can do :hugs:

hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

blessings
Jen🦋

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I have a feeling that Christmas will be “difficult” for most of the world this year…it is certainly going to be different…the first Covid Christmas ever. But we must never forget that the underlying Christmas message is one of love and light. I always light a candle on Christmas Eve and sit quietly recalling Barry and all the Christmases we were blessed to share. The first year my tears just fell…it was a wonder that the candle flame was not extinguished…but each year the tears have decreased and the memories have grown…a little light and hope on the relentless path each of us on this forum navigate daily…
I wonder if any of you would like to light a candle too? I have this idea that if we all lit a candle at the same time we would be united in time and space…we would not feel so alone…and the light from all our little flames might shine through the darkness and give us hope.
Take care everyone x

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@amelie_sgran. What a lovely thought. Lighting the candles around the world for our loved ones and all who are going through this horrible journey. I will certainly light one on Christmas Eve and think about my darling Bill and everyone of us
Shona x

Dear @amelie_sgran, I totally agree with @Shonzie, lighting a candle on Christmas Eve is a great idea, especially as my wife loved Christmas so much. I have to admit that I have been lighting rather substantial candles for the last few weeks below a couple of facial photos of my wife. I tend to light it around 10pm and blow it out around 2am before I crawl up to bed.

P.S. The candle is 8" x 2½”, £3 available from Tesco.

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Count me in too — I’ll light up one in memory of my wife.
Herb

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a wonderful idea, I usually have fragtant candles lit most evenings, although to light a specigic candle would give a special meaning and feeling. a very moving and spiritual thought.

hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

Blessings
Jen🦋

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I have been lighting a candle each week on the day David passed and it makes me feel close to him. I would love to join you lighting a candle at the same time at Christmas -what a great idea and it will help us to not feel so alone im sure as Christmas will be a hard time for us all.

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Sally what a wonderful idea. What time do you do this and for how long. I love scented candles and use them regularly but I am going to buy a very special one for Christmas Eve and I can then think of you all on the forum as well as Brian. A joining of us all.
Pat
xxx

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I love the idea of lighting a candle. I have just ordered a large beeswax one from Amazon. Beeswax burns cleanly with no spluttering or drips and is beneficial in cleaning the air, help neutralize pollutants in the home including dust, mold, mildew, and unwanted odours. It is safe for asthmatics too. These candles burn for a very long time too. I hope this information may be of use to someone.

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Hi Jean
Thanks for that info. I will start looking for a beeswax candle, sounds ideal. I don’t order on line anymore as all my information has been hacked into twice but I am sure I can find one locally.
Pat

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I always find a church wherever I visit and light a candle for my darling man. A lot of churches have a special tree that you can write a message on a little card and hang it on a branch.
When I lit a candle in Harrogate, my friend stood to the side of me and could not believe that the candle ‘flared’ for no reason, well, yes, there was for me, it was my sign that Jimmy was right by my side.
She captured it, both the candle and my message :blue_heart: image|375x500

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What beautiful pictures ! I’m sure he was by your side ! I often light candles and think of ed we visited a lot of churches and old buildings etc as we were in the national trust and had many lovely days out together . I sometimes feel he is beside me in quiet moments as it feels like my hair is being stroked . I’ll definitely be lighting a special candle this christmas and remembering those lovely days with ed debbie x

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Yankee candles do one called ‘Angels wings’ which is perfect for lighting for our loved ones :heart:

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Lighting a candle is a lovely idea. I have two tealight holders with my first and second husband’s names on. I light them on special occasions, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries so Christmas I will light them both. Christmas will be different for everyone this year with this pandemic

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@amelie_sgran What a lovely idea! If you do agree a particular date and time to do this, it might be worth starting a new conversation specifically about this to let other users know - that way it will be visible to more people.

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I also always have candles for Jack - his ashes are at home ( just don’t know what to do with them) and I light candles close to the urn
The idea of a day and time for us to light candles together is beautiful for us and our love and energy will also be felt by the one we loved
Sadie x

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I will also light a candle xx love to all

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What a lovely idea of Angels wings candle will be looking for one and lighting it for my Ron. Xxxx

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