That’s very strange, my husbands cousin has been a real rock to me recently, I hadn’t realised how comforting having one of his close relation was going to be. Interesting to hear you felt close your husbands relation. I hope it helps going forward x
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They have been so good to me. I have had to change the car because it was too big just to use to get to work and back. It started costing quite a bit. They came with me which really did help. The caravan is being sold on Friday and they are coming there too. It has been a really painful week so far.
I dreamt about him last night. He walked to me and just held me. It was beautiful, i woke with a smile and a slightly lighter heart.
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That’s so nice to have that help, I have lots of offers of support which is lovely, we are lucky aren’t we?
I would give anything to have the dream you had, I just feel him going further and further away , maybe he will get close again some time soon x
My husband has been gone 10 months and I still question my self. We never had a chance to say goodbye although I was with him when he passed. It all happened in the space of 2 weeks with no indication of what was going to happen.
I question everything like why, why now. My son had just found out on News Years Eve that he and his partner were expecting our Grandchildren. My husband was in a coma and we will never know if he heard my son telling him. I now have a lovely Grandson whoy husband would have loved very much but will.never see him. Why…
It’s just the worst isn’t it, I was with my husband and was able to say those things but it breaks my heart when I think of it, saying those things you never think you will say. I’m sure your husband knew how you cared don’t beat yourself up. I cry all the time now, it’s hard to understand how strong we need to be.
These posts help me to see what is all a normal part of grief, we just have to try to be strong x
It would be nice if some of us are local could meet up with the intension of helping each other and not feeling alone.
What do you think?
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I also think it would help to be able to talk with other bereaved people, but distance a problem. This forum is a great help. Keep posting x
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This forum really is help isn’t it.
I live near Birmingham
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Hi, i lost my husband almost 3 months ago. I’m so so pleased to read you talk to him all the time. I tjough i was going mad. I have conversations with my beloved Richard every day. Like you all, I know exactly how he would respond. It’s so hard as you know. I’m just about to move from our 3 bed country home to a more manageable 2 bed bungalow. It’s so scary to think he’s not going to be physically there with me, but in my heart he will be around me always.
Does anyone have any views about how long you need away from work before feeling strong enough to return - i know everyone is different, but woukd really welcome your views. Much love to you all x
I am retired but volunteer, I’m planning to go back after 7 weeks, it’s very limited hours and no pressure so should be ok. It rather depends on what your job involves. I wouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself as I think your concentration is a bit unreliable and you can be easily distracted and forgetful. Take it easy x
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Hi Kittycat,
My beautiful wife passed eighteen months ago and I still speak to her daily.
I also moved to a smaller apartment a couple of months ago. I still chat away to her, I love to think she can hear and who really knows?
I was off work for just over two months, a right mess really, started drinking and didn’t want to be here, I think work saved me.
Gave me a purpose and everyone was so good and respectful, made me realise that I could still have some kind of life and try my best to make my wife proud of me.
I’m slowly getting there, starting to see beauty in things and can now look back with love instead of feeling sick and miserable.
I found just taking things day by day helped and taking it easy on myself if I got things wrong, I think my brain was in survival/trauma mode so it was all a big effort at first, take time out if things get overwhelming.
Joe x
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Well done sounds like you have done a lot, take care x
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Aw, that’s such a lovely reply. How nice to try and make your wife proud of you - I’m sure she is. I’ll try and remember that when things seem overwhelming. I’m so pleased you chat to your wife too. Thank you. X
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Thank you. I do need to concentrate- I’m a phlebotomist. Take care and thank you for your advice x
In 6 days it will be 6 months since the love of my life left me. Some days it feels like yesterday, other days it feels like forever. Forever is a long time. When I married him I thought we had forever, cancer had other ideas. I am grateful that he had 10 months more than they said he had (he fought the b*****d for 16 years, valiantly, no matter what it, or the treatments, threw at him! Every time they said “this is it” he said “nope”) My experience is that it doesn’t get easier, it gets different. I still want to do away with myself every day, (I couldn’t/wouldn’t do it, he’d kill me!) I just have to remember every time I, disappointingly, wake up, it’s what he would’ve wanted. I tell myself that if the roles were reversed, I’d want him to live his best life. Grief is personal, no-one but you can experience it. There are no rights or wrongs. Just keep on keeping on. Know that there are people who feel the same, and alot of them are on here. Good luck to all in our onward journey!
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8 days of 6 months here and nope it’s not got easier here either. Big hugs
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Hi Wayne2 time is a strange thing isn’t it, it’s only been 6 weeks since my loss but it feels like it’s been for ever, its always at the forefront of my mind. How do I deal with it all, its heartbreaking, I wake up to a new nightmare ever day. Everything has changed and this is my new life. My son is visiting today so hopefully today will be brighter. Life goes on, take care all.
Hi Wayne2, I’m so sorry about your wife. Richard and i would have been married 34yrs next week. I feel your thoughts about being a wreck , I’m just the same. I know when i do go back to work I’ll feel lost and guilty for attempting to return to a life where he was always there for me. If I’m honest it terrifies me, just the thought of trying to pick up where i left off, but without my soulmate. You’ve made me feel human and not the only one trying to climb at least half way up this horrendous dark mountain path. Thank you for that. I really hope our feelngs ease with time, just to make existing more bearable. Thank you again, take care.
You are right, it’s a different world now. Its reassuring knowing others feel the same way. This gives me comfort. My husband had cancer and MND. He was so brave with only concerns for others. You ate right, grief is very personal and nobody can ever know exactly how you feel , possibly the only person who would have the best understanding of your feelings is the one who is not there to share them with. It’s so hard isn’t it. I wish i could take everyone’s pain away. Take care.
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It will be 3 months on the 17th… And I’m in that dark pit again where all l want is to disappear, to stop living. What’s the point anyway? I guess l’m just scared it won’t work. Also, scared to get to the point where l don’t even
care about our cats anymore. They’re the main reason l’m still around anyway. Can’t just dump them.
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