I rang them just after my husband suddenly passed away and they told me to ring after 3 months i was not impressed with the attitude of the lady on the phone i wont be bothering with them again .im so pleased i joined this site as its really helped me chatting with others in the same situation
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I can sympathise with you on cruse .my gorgeous fantastic wife sue has been passed away 3 months and I rang cruse and got a lot of waffle and was told it has to be 3months and when i said its been 3months I just got more rubbish spouted i just ended the call
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@Martyn2 that is terrible I do wonder how much funding they get from the government and us tax payers. X
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I got on to Cruse after 3 months and was put on the waiting list which was 18-20 weeks, that was the end of jan. Ive since found a local organisation through occy health and thats been really good,
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If any of you work please go through occ health , Iām a nurse in occ health , therefore they are paying for me for 6 sessions privately as I donāt wish to speak to my team who I might meet at meetings etc . All occ health will have well being attached ( or should have ) . Itās helping me , I cry when Iām there but Iām talking to a professional who puts things in perspective and helps you see why itās so bloody hard this grief thing .
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How do I get in contact with occ health?
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Ask your manager to refer you or self refer ask company for tel no or email x they will support you x
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I am not working so I suppose I have to look for a different route to get help. I am not asking for any help from my local surgery because they are useless. They cannot even sort out my husbandās health files which I need for the travel insurance to claim. Sending love and hugs.
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Retired due to ill health now .diabetic on insulin and heart disease plus other medical problems and a right below knee amputee since December 2019.
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@Annaessex
Have you tried to get counselling that Sue Ryder on here offers? x
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The face-to-face groups are too far for me and I donāt have access to camera or video calls. My laptop is very old. My husband was the computer guy in our house.
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I am sorry Narna, its very hard, I know, it is less then 5 months since I lost my mother(she died a horrible death in my arms gasping for breath at the end of her dementie on the evening of the 5th of January, we were alone in the house) not surprising I have battle field trauma, only you know how you feel and the support of fellow sufferers is a valuable thing to have, let me recommend a book, āYou are not aloneā by Cariad lloyd(she became the creator and host of Griefcast) Cariad lost her father to cancer when she was 15 and it affected her very profoundly, I heard of the book very shortly after my mother passed and I can recommend it, as a 14 year old I watched my grand mother die from cancer, I have seen and been through things that no 14 year old ever should, but thatās life, the book is available through libraries or via Amazon, it wont bring your husband back, but it will help, I hope you find a happy place, when you are ready join any club near by that suits you, (I joined the church and local balling club) good luck
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Hi Tim
A good idea and I agree and I was fortunate enough to find a grief group at the local hospice with drinks and cake afterwards which I attended once a month. There was also the Grief Cafeās meetings which are pretty widesperead all over the country and run by volunteers, Then some of us formed another group where we met up once a week. We move through different stages of grief though and there may come a time when we donāt need these meetings any longer but they are useful in the early days. Cruse Locally was also very good and supportive. But terrible that people are being turned away when at their most vulnerable.
P xxx
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Hi Pattidot,good evening.
It is appalling that cruise are turning people away in the early days when they most need the help that can make the difference for some between surviving and not surviving given that when elderly people are suddenly isolated they can go down hill very quickly, particularly so in winter when most deaths occur, it is like saying āsorry you are having a heart attack, if you are still ill in three months time we will send an ambulanceā such a policy is as useless as it is absurd, but there is evidence that after around 3 to 6 months most people are moving on with there lives but it is terrible for those who are not who may also be facing homelessness and poverty and more likely to be effected by bad mental and physical health ( I would love to see certain cabinet ministers survive on job seekers allowance for 6 months, half of them donāt know the price of milk) I have a healthy distrust of authority who ALWAYS have there own agenda and are not to be trusted, I am glad you have been able to join a grief group, its good for your health as well as making you feel better, we must all be thankful for what we have had, you have loved and been loved, and may be when you are ready you may be in love again, from what you say you are clearly a survivor and moving on with your life, and that is for the best, may God be with you and guide you, thankyou for your comment
Tim
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I am so so sorry for your loss i am only 6 says into the loss of my beloved hubby i am 66 and he had just turned 72 been together for 50 yrs i am completely devastated and heart broken i look up at the night sky and ask god to give me strength the lonliness around the home is unbearable i canāt tell what the future holds but i will miss him every second of every day until my time to be united with him comes ,but please know you are not alone sending hugs and prayers to you 
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@Joy72 such early days for you. Try to take some comfort from this site. It has helped me a lot. It is 9 weeks today since I lost my husband. Itās a difficult journey we are on. Sending hugs
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Jan17 sending you hugs. Its been 3months since my gorgeous fantastic wife sue passed away on 1st February this year. This group has been absolutely fantastic in the way we all interact with each other xx
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Hello Tim
Thanks for a such a nice post. I am further along this road and no longer go to groups and have got rid of all the books I obtained. I have interests and hobbies and continued with the things that my husband and I shared. I have even adapted to living alone and quite like it. The groups however were a big help for the first year and made me communicate with people which I found hard at first although I am not usually like this. I did find that I grew out of the groups and the reading of books as I didnāt want to be surrounded by grief all the time. If that makes any sense. It didnāt mean I was forgetting my husband it just means that I was adapting and I kept him as a big part of my life and still do.
I also started to think about what I had and not what I had lost. I had a nice paid for home, interests and although some family members have forgotten I exist I am happy enough to forget about them now. I was told very early on that I would sink or swim and I chose to swim.
I agree there are people who do need that extra guidance and support and they should be able to have it I did try counselling but because I wasnāt crying all the time (I donāt like doing it in front of people) I was told I didnāt need it. They never saw the tears on my way home. I donāt think counselling was for me but it is a lifeline for many others.
I can also sympathise with your ābattle field traumaā I nursed and watched my husband die a terrible painful death. I was also alone with him at the time.
Pat
xx
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@Pattidot
I stopped interacting on here but still occasionally read posts and this one of yours caught my eyeā¦you have totally captured my thoughts and I am only 13 weeks in to this journey.
I just wanted to let you know I admire your strength, inspiration, positivity and help you give to others on their journeys. You have been posting on here a long time and thatās a credit to your strength of character. You are a true warrior and a courageous lady who never complains but acknowledges the blessings in life. I personally thank you for leading the way on grief. My dear father always said to me to count my blessings in life and focus on those
Lyn
X
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Hi lyn.have,nt been on much as had a rough few days and bike club rally last weekend. Came home Sunday and thought I canāt wait to see and tell sue what we did and how much raised and then it hit me when i walked through the door and sue wasnāt there.depression has hit an all time low but this group has and will continue to be a biiiiig help to me especially now x
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