Definitely, jenny mum is 85 this year, jenny was only 59. It’s just senseless
2 Likes
I totally agree with you KarenF no matter who we have lost over the years and the grief we went through they really do not compare to the loss of a partner, I really didn’t think it would be this hard.
2 Likes
I’m going through that complaint process right now not for the hospitals he was in but from where it all started at the GP surgery, they just didn’t listen to him at all…it makes me so angry, they are under review as the last inspection graded them as being inadequate which only adds fuel to the fire.
2 Likes
I know it is ! My husband had literally just had his 60 th birthday … u cant believe it can you ? X
1 Like
@Jacney My mother died in 2020 weeks before her 102nd birthday. Little did I know then that two years later I would lose my wife. She was 69.
1 Like
No, and I feel awful for it, but I can’t help thinking it’s so unfair. Her mum is ready to go since her husband died, so why take jen.
@Mike75 losing our parents is really hard, but it is the natural order and 102 (almost) wow, you were so lucky, but 69 is no age these days, so why do some people get to live to a really good age, yet others die far too young and far too soon, that it causes so much heartbreak and pain. It is hard to comprehend.
I’m not saying it’s any less painful to lose our parents, just more expected and accepted than losing your partner. It must make no sense to you.
5 Likes
Good im glad youre complaining !!!
I don’t think it’s possible to quantify loss and the amount of grief. It’s really down to the relationship and the love. Each loss is different. Personally I have been more affected by the recent loss of my Mum, which I have found the hardest of all.
3 Likes
Hi, sorry to read your struggle but at the same time comforting to know someone feels the same as me. Never posted on line before but desperate for help please.
My partner of 24 years passed away 3 weeks ago after only 3 days of illness. Paramedics decided it was just a bug whilst she was actually internally bleeding possibly from the mismanaged warfarin that was supposed to protect her.
My every waking thought is of her and like so many others I am totally lost.
First day of her pension entitlement and this was to be our year after one year waiting for heart surgery and 2 years shielding. We had a year of great plans in our heads. One minute I’m speaking to her, one hour later she’s dead.
I want to complain but I know it won’t bring her back. My life feels like it’s over and I want it to be despite having a good family nearby. I don’t agree with suicide but I don’t want this life. We were absolute soulmates and every room is full of reminders. I never knew the clock ticked!
I am usually positive and never been off work but just washing my face at the moment is an achievement. Still got the funeral to get through after a post mortem. I’m a mess and don’t know where to start. It’s fine people saying one day, take it slowly but there is a great big massive hole where my life and soulmate were.
7 Likes
I’m 10 weeks in and remember these feelings so well. It’s absolutely pants but you’re in good hands here as we’re either going through it, been through it, or way ahead of it and able to help and support you x
2 Likes
Thank you. So many family members and friends offer support and I take them up on it sometimes, but as a mother they are used to seeing me as very capable and I don’t want to turn into the needy one. On this site I feel I can actually say how I really feel without worry of being judged or not coping etc.
Earlier I had to choose her clothes to take to the funeral directors. Then there’s the very individual choice of do I go to see her in the chapel of rest. Two big issues in my mind, I totally miss my soulmate who I love dearly, second issue is my life as I knew it has been destroyed.
4 Likes
All hard decisions to make but the answers will come to you.
Yes, it’s two losses to deal with, the loss of your love and the loss of the future together. The future without them is a really hard one and one I struggle with. I accept my love is not here but our future we planned is never far from my mind and the ‘what do I do now’.
5 Likes
Sorry for the loss of your soulmate. I am 5 weeks along into this nightmare. I have the same dilemma as you re the chapel of rest. I started a post on it which you may find helps you.
There are so many supportive people on here all going through this grief journey so you are in a safe place. Take care
Lyn
3 Likes
I never felt in a million years I could feel any worse than I did when my niece died at 30. Since then I have lost her mum, my sister and our mum and dad. But losing my husband two years ago - the pain is indescribable as it is for anyone who has lost their partner. My other loses were such a blow to me but John was beside me to support me and when he went, it was me supporting our two sons. Completely different type of grief an all consuming one that grips you so tight you cannot breathe. Have I come to terms with it ? Don’t think I ever will but I now know he’s not coming home and don’t wait for his key in the door any more.
Just feel sad most of the time and certainly not the person I was before x
Love to all
Georgina
9 Likes
@Rosiepink, I’m not saying it less painful, just different. It is what we expect to be the order of life our parents going before us, like someone else said on here we love our families with all our hearts, but our partner is like the other half of us, always there in the quiet times making you feel safe and loved and cuddle us to sleep every night. The only thing that could be worse is the loss of a child. I’ve lost both my parents to cancer and it broke my heart to see them suffering losing them was horrendous. Losing jenny though, makes me want to die with her, I grieved my parents and other family members and I still shed a tear, but it wasn’t all consuming, my partner helped me live through it with constant cuddles and love. I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well but I hope you understand I’m not quantifying, just trying to make sense of it all.
8 Likes
Yep i i agree ! Ive never had a pain like it.in my life ! I was like lostlil… felt at.times like i couldnt breath at the beginning the pain was so bad !! Thank goodness we have s site like this that we can share our feelings with xx
6 Likes
Dear @LonelyLady
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and the pain you feel. I totally get everything you’ve said and feel very much the same.
I have only just found this site and the posts have made me realise my thoughts and feelings are unfortunately quite normal 
I turn 50 next month and cannot believe I am now alone. I lost my unique and wonderful partner in January and still can’t really accept it. We had such an amazing connection like you did with your partner, it feels like I’ve been robbed of the most amazing person and the pain is just unbearable 
.
I have a really good bunch of friends who have been so supportive but I feel bad being the constant black cloud in the room. Sometimes I don’t know what I want, when I’m alone I feel lonely and when I’m with people I can feel even lonelier.
I hate this feeling, he’s just left too big a hole.
I can’t find any joy in anything…….
I am struggling to find any sense in what happened, I guess I am not alone there.
I am just taking it day by day, I am hoping that I can get through things and get to a point where I don’t cry every single day . Sending big hugs xx
9 Likes
@Ripley I sorry for you loss. I too lost my partner in January. It is the most devastating thing I’ve ever had to deal with.
I think unless you have experienced this kind of loss you never truly understand how it can make you feel. The loneliness is overwhelming. You sum it up perfectly saying lonely when alone, and feel lonely when with others 
I have just got back from walking my dog with a friend and was trying to explain the loneliness to her. I would have gone for a walk with her even if my partner was still here. It’s the knowing I won’t be able to tell him about the walk is where the loneliness kicks in. Stay strong. You will get through this as we all will because we have no choice. Sending hugs xx
2 Likes
Oh I know exactly how you feel.
I just lost my husband on Sunday just gone and now I feel like my life is over. I have to be strong for our 4 year old but it’s so hard.
I can’t imagine my life having any meaning now.
I just want my soul mate back.
I’m only 41 and now I’m all alone. They say you can have so many people around you but you still feel alone and that is so true
I just wanna curl up and the world to stop
My heart is in pieces 
I’m so sorry you are going through this too. X
6 Likes