Oh Mandy this is all so new to you far too soon to be thinking to far ahead just yet, just concentrate on yourself and your little one as they will be going through this difficult time too but too young to understand it all, you will have a roller coaster of emotions in the coming weeks/months but stay as strong as you can for your little one, but if and when you feel you need to let off steam or just have a bit of a rant then come back here as we all support each other through this terrible journey, I hope you have family and some good friends who you can lean on too as you will need support from them too.
We are all at different stages in this journey, myself I’m coming up to the 1st anniversary on 26th of this month, this first year has been hell, some days better than others but I have only got this far from being here, the support of my son & daughter (both in their 40’s) and surprisingly my youngest granddaughter who is now 10y she has such a big heart, I also reached out to local support groups and lately my GP which I didn’t want to admit I needed, I can be very stubborn, but things were getting out of control since Christmas and had to admit defeat, there is no shame in asking for and getting help from outside sources, if you need to cry then let it out.
@Mandy81
I’m so sorry you’ve had to join this club, gosh there’s so many losses. I’m 10 weeks in and I find now that my days are much easier. At first it was such a raw all consuming pain and didn’t know what to do with myself or how I would move forward but you do. Take very small steps. Everyone is lovely on here and we have all reached out at various times. We all do genuinely know how it feels .
Ali
@Mandy81 my heart goes out to you. It so hard. Especially in the first few weeks. I found just getting up an effort. With my focus on getting through another day Tiny steps is all you can do but you will do it no matter how much you think you won’t. Keep reading what other people put on here. Reading others were going through or had been through similar experiences i found myself feeling was so helpful when I thought i couldn’t go on. Big hugs xx
Oh you poor luv…I feel the pain you are going through and all i can say is hold on girl …hold on tight to life.I am not going to patronise you with the usual platitudes when a catastrophe happens like this and your world is turned inside out and back again.The tiniest of steps and know this all you are feeling is known tp us on here so keep posting.I am thinking of you …x
Georgina …Me 2 …Two years and four months on and just feel so bloody alone .Sending prayers
I lost my husband 16th december and im same as you … feel alone and cry every day:( sometimes i dunno where the tears come from xx 
Aw . Brave lady xxx
@Lonely I think you are too and so is everyone else who opens their hearts up to all the others on here.
I thought I was doing well. 10 weeks in and I’m getting up, getting out, getting on.
Today I had to swap my car with the camper and bring our camper home. It’s been at my son’s house but if I’m going to keep it I need to use it. So today I collected our van, which hasn’t been home since he died and his bike, which he was on when he died.
I got the van home, it was torrential rain, I couldn’t get the bike off at first or the bike rack. My son helped while I sat in the van sobbing my heart out and shouting for my partner to help.
I knew it would be hard to see the van in the drive but I didn’t realise it would impact me so much! The realisation that my life is very very different from now on, is hard. So bloody hard!
I got well dones for doing it but the reality that my partner is not coming to my rescue anymore and I will never have his support and help is so hard to swallow. Life has changed forever!!
Sorry, just had to unleash that lot.
Tomorrow is new day!
@Ali29 You really are doing better, but you’ve been ambushed. I’m trying to be positive too but no matter how we approach this new unwanted life, every day we still miss our loved ones so we will be ambushed for a long time. I’m coming up to 6 months but there are many well ahead of me here. We all get these events, just scream, shout cry and post about it. Then you take the next step and start again. Hugs xxx
@Mike75
I definitely felt ambushed tonight. It’s so hard when things go wrong or catch you unawares but I am learning how to deal with them and sorry it the problems…
Thank you x
Feeling like my life is on hold now.yes my daughter and family members are trying to keep me going .but feel like i,m just going through the motions now
@Ali29 Each time you are ambushed, when the tears and shouting have subsided, take time out and re-read the message you posted to your partner. xxx
I wonder if anyone can relate to this and maybe offer some advice. My partner passed away 3 weeks ago and there are so many “if only”s. The main ones around paramedics not taking her to hospital 2 days earlier and an hour in hospital where she appears to have been left alone after waiting all day in A&E on morphine only to end up fatally unresponsive.
I constantly look up medical terms from the coroner’s information, trying to piece together what caused it as they don’t seem to know other than internal bleeding.
It doesn’t make me feel any better and yet I feel totally cheated. The junior doctors were on strike that day too. I know I just want someone to blame but I can’t seem to let it go as it has stolen my life and soulmate from me. Any thoughts please?
@Ali29
Sending you a big hug. You just jumped a huge hurdle, heartbreaking but you did it, these setbacks are like an obstacle course, appear out of nowhere, challenge us and take us back to square one but hopefully each time we overcome them they will get a little bit easier. Go easy on yourself, x
@Sarlyn
Thank you, they’ll make me stronger that’s for sure. And there’ll be another notch on my belt of something else I’ve learnt due to bereavement x
So sorry for the loss of your partner. There are so many unanswered questions we have when we lose a loved one. It’s natural. Death however is totally out of our control and nothing we could do or know can change the outcome sadly. I understand your need to know so you could ask for her medical records so you can go through them yourself and also contact PALS (family advocates at the hospital) and they will look into it for you. In the meantime, don’t let this consume you because you couldn’t do anything to change what happened