Wow ! Dont get me started on the state of the NHS !!! 
i hooe you have complained or at least sought answers? Xx
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Thats the point isnt it ? We in 2023 … ! You wouldnt think so ! Ha
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I think you are doing so well @Ali29 bringing the van and bike home was such a big event no wonder you felt emotionally overwhelmed. As @Mike75 says all these significant steps brings with it these ambushes, its so hard but you did a major thing today and you should feel proud of these steps you are taking. We all are! Love and hugs
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Please know that everyone on here understands all the sadness and overwhelming loss , that you are feeling. Sending love 
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@Ali29
Sorry to be late responding to this post. I haven’t been on here enough the last few days as I’ve been busy with other things.
I can completely relate to what you went through with the van and the helpless feeling of knowing he isn’t there to help you any more. I’ve had similar waves of realisation over several things which have needed my attention. BUT you have moved the camper with is a massive step so believe in yourself and that you did well.
@Mike75 gives such good advice in looking at your message from when you joined.
@Tiffany perfectly normal to look for someone to blame and in some cases there is blame to find. Not in my case I don’t believe as the friend who tried to resuscitate my husband having stopped the journey towards hospital to do so did the best he could. I could question there not being an A&E any more in the town he was in to start with but it will serve no purpose so I don’t dwell on it and the likelihood that they could have kept him alive is slim in any case.
Only it will know whether it will harm or help you to have it looked in to and that decision may take time to decide on your best course or action. @Sarlyn gave good advice if you do decide to take it further.
Sending love to all the amazingly brave people on here -agreeing with @Lonely & @JustSomeBloke on that.
Karen xxx
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I just want to send my love. My husband died suddenly seven weeks ago - I’ve been sorting his clothes (keeping them won’t bring him back) and I’ve kissed sweaters, shirts etc. I feel that my love has taken my soul. We must go gently - all joined by grief. xx
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Tiffany hi
I was sort of in the same boat as you. The two weeks before my husband died I took him twice to A@E because of the pain he was in and more worrying he couldn’t keep any food or drink down. Literally a sip of water and he was throwing it up. What did the hospital do put him on a drip for an hour, gave me anti sickness pills which I explained he wouldn’t be able to keep down, and was told it wasn’t “cost effective” to keep him in. Because of the lack of food his blood pressure went through the floor and had a cardiac arrest in bed beside me. Everyone urged me to take it further but I didn’t have the strength for a fight and it wouldn’t bring him back.
I so my hope you find some answers. Sadly though it changes nothing and your heart will be just as broken 
Much love
Georgina
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You do need to talk Deborah
It really does help. I go to a bereavement group each week and talking to people, men and women, in the same situation who truly understand is so helpful
See if there is a similar group near you.
Look after yourself as it does ease over time but the pain and sadness is always there but you learn to live with it.
Thinking of you
Love Shelleyx
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I can relate to this. I lost the love of my life just over 2 weeks ago. He was just 38. I cannot fathom a future without him. I’m just surviving day to day. Ive already had to sort his belongings and have his house cleared as he wasn’t yet divorced from his ex and so she’s moved into the house. Fortunately i still own mine, but I was living there with him and having to do it all so soon was super hard. My house buyers are pushing to complete the sale, I have no idea where I’m going to go now. My family have behaved awfully towards me and left me to it and I honestly don’t know what is keeping me from going to join my love. I have absolutely no one.
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I am so sorry @Dizzapea losing your love of your life just 2 weeks ago and now having to move is so overwhelming. I can only imagine how hard it was to clear the house so soon after, and being pushed for a completion date on your house sale. It all feels so pressured at a time when you are deep in grief. I am so sorry i haven’t any magic wand to make things easier for you, but you do have support from us here. Sending you love and hugs xx
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@Dizzapea , oh how hard this has been for you, please speak to someone like Cruse Bereavement 0808 808 1677. Talk to anyone you can including your GP please
@Freefaller I spoke to the mental health team at the doctors after my friends bullied me to go and told him I didnt expect him to help me as it was the mental health sevices that let my love down. He tried so hard to get the help he needed and no one took him seriously so I am very angry. My doctor was actually reasonably helpful but I still find it really hard asking for help because ultimately, whats the point, they don’t listen, and 2, if they help me why am I more worthy?
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@Dizzapea i know how it feels to be let down by GPs, i am angry with mine too. The system is so broken sadly. I do hope you get some help please take care
Some of the stories are so sad and hard to read, one thing in common is everyone is hurting, if you have not been in this situation you don’t know what it’s like. I am still struggling to find someone to talk to, I lost my husband and both my parents last year. I have rang lots of support groups I have had 3 assessments then nothing. Someone mentioned Cruise they were quite rude and abrupt with me and said they don’t talk to people unless you have been bereaved for 3 months, which I have now. But I have been put off them. My Doctor was good but it’s hard to get an appointment I don’t want medication and there are sick people out there. I need to talk to someone really badly.
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@Diane1hw
I am so sorry , you have had so much to cope with over the last year.
I also lost my husband last October and very recently and unexpected my best friend, who was my rock , six weeks ago.
I referred myself on the NHS website for talking therapies. I was contacted almost straight away, had an assessment and now have a thirty minute call every two weeks. I find this is helping me a lot as I have also lost the confidence to go out alone since losing my husband.
I hope this maybe of help to you and I do hope you can find someone to talk to very soon. xx
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That is so awful for you .especially the way your family behaved towards you.please remember that your among friends here. Even if you want to rant talk were here for you x
Thank you for the heads up about cruse.i was going to ring them Monday morning but not going to now .i lost my gorgeous fantastic wife sue on the first of February this year so its still very raw .just remember that you are among friends here. I,ve more support than macmillan ever gave me x
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@Dizzapea its so sad to read what an awful time you are having and sorry for your loss. One thing I have learnt over the past 10 weeks since my partner died is to take any support offered. Reaching out on here is a good start I have found it very supportive.
@Martyn2 my daughter has contacted Sue Ryder for some bereavement counselling after losing her step dad in January. No idea if they are any good as she is on the waiting list but they did also offer her a group session instantly, she declined as wanted more one to one help. I was lucky I could get help via my work but gave to admit have found this forum more helpful and supportive!
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