Hope your counselling helps you tomorrow honey ! Feel for you! We all had days like that and you are very early on in your journey. Lots of self care … anything that makes you feel better - hot bath or shower, walking helps i find - somewhere nice and quiet xxx
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Hi @Deb5,
Yes I know what you mean. There is the world and then there is me. I am a detached observer. I play no part in it, nor want to play a part in it. It’s a world that holds no interest or attraction. How can it when my lovely Christine is not in it?
I’ve been catching up on other postings in this thread: On the TV front I find that I can cope with Scooby Doo kids movies late at night. I always find Dad’s Army OK to watch at any time. But that’s about it. Everything else is just background noise or simply intolerable.
I don’t drink or take any other recreational drugs for that matter. I’ve never got on with sleeping tables either. Always left me feeling like shit in the morning. Funnily enough tho I have started a new indulgence at the suggestion of my bereavement counsellor: A mug of Ovaltine when I am going to bed! Wow, am I living the high life!
Best wishes.
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My drug of choice at the moment is revels. Had to choose between wine and chocolate tonight and chocolate won again.
But these are horrible days aren’t they? So many of us are so lonely.
And so grateful there are people to talk to on here.
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So for those of us of a certain age you have become an ovaltini. Hope you enjoyed your trip to eastborne
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My bereavment counselling was really good … had 10 sessions with sue ryder actually. She helped me understand why it was hard for me …im not saying its a magic wand but it does help to understand your grief and get it our there - do you know you can do it online with grief kind … part of sue ryder , if youre interested xxx
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Hi @Pudding,
Yes I remember! Isn’t there quite a catchy little tune that the ovaltinies sing?
Thank you, I did enjoy my trip to Eastbourne. The sun was shining the whole time I was there. I sat by the sea for an hour or so, listening to the waves and watching the sparkle of light on the water. I find it very calming. I fancied that one of those sparkles was Christine’s spirit playing with the water. I miss her so much …
The train to Eastbourne departs from London Victoria. Christine and I loved travelling by train and would often go on day trip charter rail excursions. Many went from Victoria. Of course there was an excursion departing when I got on the concourse so immediately that triggered memories of lovely days out that we had and sadness overtook me.
Well meaning friends and acquaintances, when I tell them how much I miss Christine and how sad and alone I feel say to me “oh well, just remember all the lovely times you had together”. But that does not help me at all, quite the reverse. I hate it when they say that as remembering what we had brings it crashing home just what has been lost. It’s very difficult.
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Paddy53 well done for choosing chocolate, tonight I have opted for both. Back to total abstinence tomorrow. I’m watching my weight 
.
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Damn it! All this talk of chocolate … now have I got any in the house … to have with my Ovaltine …
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I had a chocolate orange that was for my daughter, but I’ve eaten it after you all talked about eating sme. I dont like ovaltine, but hot chocolate eoth tia maria and whipped cream is set for tomorrow night after I have done my hula hoop fitness class.
Had a better day today as went to tai chi this morning which definitely relaxes me.
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Yeh course we feel lonely. We lost our soulmate !!! Its flipping awful thst empty feeling without him there … without thst special person there to love and care for you … i dunno how i got through the last year tbh… it must be a miracle ! I never realised what grief .can do to a person… i really didnt 
xx
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Btw i just noticed i misread your post @JerryH … soz thought you said you were thinking about bereavment counselling but obviously you have had some! And yeh ovaltine or horlicks for me but do like bit of a drink sometimes too 
in fact you just made me think - i need to try that cos i wake up in the night sometimes xxx
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Good morning all. Sitting in the car waiting to go in for my counselling session. I am sure you people in my phone are the only ones for me to talk to some days. Much appreciated. My husband always drove n I am a nervous driver.
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Good luck with your counselling. Still waiting for mine to start. Some days the only people I would talk to without this forum are my carers first thing in the morning. As per driving I always used to find you manage when you have to. Xx
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Good morning, hope all goes well with your counselling. I understand what you’re saying about being nervous about driving, I’ve still got my license but chose to get rid of Chris’s car when he died. It was too big and I really don’t need a car, I live near the city centre and I have my bus pass ,
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Hi @Annde
I dont drive and gave up Kevins car. I guess i was spoiled he was the driver and took me everywhere.
I have my bus pass so learning my way around travel to hospital appointments, shops etc.
It takes me a bit of time about 1hr to town but just need to add onto my travel.
Anyway hope you have a nice day
Weather is fine no rain at least today so will get bus into garden centre for a look around to pass the hours
Lynne x
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It is horrible here. Storm Frederico. Named by French met office. Cold, wet and windy. I still have my driving licence but haven’t driven in years. Buses are dreadful. If I need to go anywhere it is my lovely taxi driver or neighbours. Never enjoyed driving. I do remember one day when my Corsa was off the road and I needed to drive my husbands car to work. He had a 4.0l jaguar XL I was terrified. Wouldn’t park it in the staff multi storey parked in client parking. You would pull up to a junction with this massive bonnet and then couldn’t see what was coming.
Got better with hire company cars but still couldn’t park. Reversed into a tree and a fire escape.
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Good morning Lynne. We have heavy rain in Exeter this morning. I set off to go to Aqua fit but missed my bus and it was too wet to walk so I came home again. Got to go the opticians this afternoon, I have Age related macular degeneration in my left eye for which I receive regular injections. Last time I went I told them I thought my vision was deteriorating in my left eye, they said the macular looks stable so requested that I go back to my optician so they can check my glasses and also to see if I have a cataract coming 
. Oh the joys of getting old 
. But at least I can be grateful that I have been granted the time to get old. Ann xx
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Pudding I totally empathise with you and the driving, didn’t used to mind it when I was younger but then there were not so many cars on the road and I’m sure other drivers were more polite and patient then. I can honestly say I have not enjoyed driving for the last 20 years and the last time I did it was in September 2019 when Chris broke his arm. I hated driving and he was the worlds worst passenger.
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@Annde. So you being in Devon are being treated to storm Frederico as well. Calmed down a bit here in Somerset. It hasn’t been since about 2015 that I last drove and that was around a car park. Used to hate driving round London. Roads much quieter when we move to Somerset in 2005 from Fleet in Hampshire.
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Would you qualify for an automatic disability car ? Can you look into it ? Xxx
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