Yeh but did we want the time to get old ? Not so sure without my lovely man here tbh … 
unless something nice happens in my life … and can actually see a point to it all !!! Xx
2 Likes
Possibly thanks Deb but think the world would be safer with me off the road. I used my mobility scooter a couple of times to visit Norman in hospital and register his death and even then was a menace to those around me. Kept bumping into things. Keep death off the road should in this instance be renamed keep Sandra off the road. Xx.
2 Likes
Aw … thats a shame think about it though. You probably just lost your confidence ? Bet your not as bad as some of these wallys on the road these days ! I love driving. Helped me get out of the house in these awful times. … xx
1 Like
Deb5 yes, I do want the chance to get older, until such a time as I think I might become a burden on my family. I love my daughters and don’t want to leave them, I enjoy seeing my great grandchildren grow and develop. I would have preferred to have done it with my love by my side but that is not going to happen so I will have to carry on, often with a heavy heart , and do it on my own. He would have wanted me to.
Hopefully in time you will get to a better place. Reading all the posts on here I think I am probably coping better than many, just pray it will last and that I am not just kidding myself that I am coping well
4 Likes
@Deb5 . You may be onto something. Thing is I don’t qualify for disability benefits just attendance allowance. I would need to buy a car and then pay for the adaptations myself. Need to do a costing to see if cost is justifiable or whether it is cheaper to keep paying for my lovely taxi driver. I would also have driving lessons to make sure I was still reasonably safe in the roads.
Not sure it would get the use. I would mostly use it to go to crewkerne and that is a £10 return journey. Sarah puts my rollator in the car and helps me in and out.
3 Likes
Pudding I know what you mean about whether it is worth it. When I got rid of Chris’s 4x4 my friend said why don’t you get yourself a small car? I vaguely thought about it but in truth I live so close to the city centre I don’t need it for getting there, I have my bus pass. One of my daughters lives about 30 miles away and I would not like to drive up the motorway to her and it would cost me more in petrol than it costs me by coach with my senior card. Take into account the cost of the car, maintenance, tax and insurance, it really was a no brainer
I’ll stick to shanks’s pony and public transport
2 Likes
You can get help towards getting a car though cant you on certain benefits ? Defo worth loookibg into ! My morher is 83 and still driving - not very well but shes still still driving … lol xxxx
2 Likes
Not entitled to any benefits that would qualify me unfortunately. Only get attendance allowance because it’s not means tested.
1 Like
I’m keeping my small KA car for now, but it costs a lot to run. Insurance is very expensive and goes up every year, age makes it higher, then regular servicing, MOT and petrol. It depends on how often you will use it, but I know overall it would be cheaper for me to use a taxi. A number of people I know have given up driving. The standard of driving these days has deteriorated and can be unnerving. I will almost certainly be giving my car up next year.
2 Likes
Hi @Rome18
Did think of getting a car as only 66 and it would help me regarding isolation as stay out of town.
But the cost of car would be too much for me as dont quality for benefits only just got state pension and my own private one. Part of husband civil service pension but no widows or any of his state pension as he died before reaching state pension age.
Ill get by but will still need to watch the pennies.
Hope the weather gets better
Lynne x
2 Likes
@Galaxy75 . Stopped raining but think we have more on the way. Very cold. I keep the heating down Thursday morning whilst Caroline is cleaning so just bringing up.
2 Likes
I know what you mean @Annde and good you are so positive, we have to feel good about good things in our life dont we ? I am going away with my daughter and granddaughter who is 5, to tenerife next wednesay morning. So that is helping to lift my mood ! I just miss being loved … its a massive gap in my life to me x
2 Likes
I wasn’t allowed to drive for 2 years after my bleed on the brain. Not old enough for my bus pass. My car is older 15+ but gets me abour locally. Counselling went well. No quick fixes but plenty of tears. Thanks 4 support
4 Likes
Aw … good ! Its really helpful isnt it counselling and i was same … cried a lot xx
2 Likes
I am still waiting to get counselling as they say I need to wait afew monrhs before giving any. I am lucky I still have my car. I am going to try to get an automatic hybrid next year. Today is a good day. I did some gardening and am now picking my granddaughter up from school.
3 Likes
We had a Yaris self charging hybrid. It was a good car. Norman told me to sell it back to the garage we bought it from as soon as he was told he had days to live. It was on a PFP. The garage couldn’t have been nicer, fairer or more helpful.
3 Likes
Aw … do you regret it a bit now ? You could take some driving lessons to get back-up to scratch like you said ! We have to be a bit independent now, without them dont we ? Unfortunately xxx
1 Like
No I don’t regret it. It would have been too expensive to run and the PFP was in his name. I also would have needed to get it adapted to get in and out plus if you don’t use it enough the small battery that starts it goes flat. I didn’t need the cost or stress of something that was going to sit in the drive whilst I sorted out the funeral and all the other admin. Car tax was also coming up for renewal. He left me with enough expense paying for his top of the range hearing aids which have since been adapted for me even though I have only mild hearing loss. Besides where would I go? Wherever I went I would need my rollator which is hard enough getting in and out if the house without getting it in and out if a car. It was neither practical nor viable.
2 Likes
I am paying privately fot mine so have started early. Ad zi have said b4, not much family and I find talking to someone really useful
2 Likes
Deb5 I hope you have an amazing time. I went away for a week with my daughter and SIL in October, it had been booked way before Chris died, I’ve been going on holiday with them once or twice a year for the past 8 years, Chris hated going away, he was only comfortable in his own home, so he never came with us. The week away was fine but I spent all the homeward journey in tears dreading coming back to the loneliness and seeing his empty space on the sofa. Funny enough I went to my daughters for a long weekend a couple of weeks ago and I was really looking forward to getting back home. I think that this is a sign that I am beginning to accept the loneliness, I don’t like it but I know I can’t change it.
2 Likes