Trust me our situations are so similar. We did everything for each other. I don’t have any interests or hobbies. Never needed them just each other. You are not bringing me down I’m there with you. We are in the same place my friend. Look after yourself. You are not going through this alone. I’m only one of many who are with you just like others are trying to help me. It’s like swimming uphill but our loved ones would want us to make it. From what I know of Judy I’m sure of that. Take care pal.
2 Likes
No, Judy has gone now. Seriously, how am I supposed to get over this. I don’t eat properly, my sleep is everywhere - there is no getting away from it. It’s all over. Unless I get people to speak, human beings not anonymous people on the phone or Internet, real people to talk to then it’s just down hill.
1 Like
@Ronnie2 the counselling via sue ryder is done through video chat. Pauline and I shielded also as we are both high risk with covid as we both have copd. Her last three weeks were spent in hospital and I was only allowed to visit her twice. I hadn’t seen her for a week when she died. All we had was eachother and I know when I go there will be no one to miss me or cry for me apart from my pets and friends on here. Its been over 9 months for me and I haven’t seen anyone in that time. I know if I passed at home,I would be undiscovered for god knows how long. I know its not the same as face to face on here. But people here really do understand and are going through the same heartbreak and they care. I don’t know you but I feel your pain and I care. I know you feel alone but you are not alone here. We are all on the same heartbreaking journey. So please get any help you can and try to keep talking on here.
4 Likes
Thank you, I’m realising now that my situation is not uncommon. And saddening to see others like this. I have been unable to register for the counciling here, I’m not that computer literate. I have an old tablet which is not working properly. I have tried to get help but genuinely there is nothing there. Judy went in to hospital the begging of June, I went months without seeing her. She was totally blind. She relied on me for everything. I know that I’m heading for a bad place but I don’t care now. I wish I could be with Judy again. She was a better person than me, even though I was her carer, she looked after me too. She was the only one who cared about me.
1 Like
Dear Ronnie2
I’ve been so touched by the messages of encouragement and genuine care you are receiving from some of the community on here. Keep going with this of you can, the chats are not face to face, but the sentiments and intentions are very moving. Thinking of you too.
Miche24
2 Likes
I know, but like the samaritans it does not replace proper human contact. Why is it like this. With the suicide rate what it is and the only thing people have are faceless messages on the Internet. Its all very sad…
2 Likes
I can’t register for your counciling keeps saying error
I will try and help you make contact but it may not be till Monday. Have you a mobile phone as you can txt 85258 to Shout … and hopefully speak to someone.
Hi Ronnie2
I have been online and typed in Sue Ryder counselling, you can then access the website. You need to register as there may be a waiting list, but you will receive video counselling. Do keep talking to us.
Miche24
I can’t register just cmes up as an error. I already done the “shout” thing. I need proper human beings to speak to.
1 Like
Shout sends charges to my mobile phond
Everything you suggest has been done - I don’t know how many times I have to say this
3 Likes
Oh sweet, I feel for you. You need to meet people, loneliness is going to make grieving for your beautiful wife so hard. Try and join a group of some sort. Sending you loads of love
3 Likes
Thank you. But I would not know where to start.
1 Like
It’s so sad you sound so very desperate I know what you are going though I to cared for jim for 20years now I have nothing no family and friends are busy. I reach out to people on here other wise I wouldn’t speak to anyone. I’m so cold I think I will die from hypothermia my hands are so cold and I can see my breath all because uc don’t pay enough to have heating on. I can’t work cause I have health issues not helped by being cold . Hope you can find some peace soon my friend and keep talking on here we all want to help. X
3 Likes
My god you are on uc too! I have only just gone it - well since Judy died. I have no heating on either. I’m too scared to put it on. I don’t understand the benefit system, it was my landlord who got me uc. I have a sick note which my landlord helped me with, she got me the appointment to see my doctor and came with me. My sick note runs out on the 14th of Feb, after that I don’t know what happens. Uc is so complicated - October I got £30 then November I 1p, December I got £250. How the payments work I don’t understand but I am greatful my rent is being paid and I have a roof over my head. At this moment I have no money left and my next payment (if I get one) is due the end of the month. I don’t eat much now - I live on mainly tea and toast. But my heating must stay off because getting my electricity cut off would be the final straw.
I have thought about that, and maybe I will. But just getting out that door is such a hard thing to do now. Thank you for your message.
2 Likes
Before your sick note runs out you have to get another one otherwise you will be expected to look for work it’s bloody awful to be honest they just don’t care about people’s feelings. I have to pay bedroom tax as well out of my uc so doesn’t leave much to pay bills and food I go food bank have you got one near you. Im in bed already just to keep warm
Me and Judy fought the bedroom tax right up to the supreme Court - it took us years. We won our case against the government on human rights. I was interviewed on radio 4, I was guest of lady Hale. Then now I get hit with bedroom tax again but my landlord got me a dhp payment. You can apply for dhp yourself, your authority should help you with this. The bedroom tax was our big fight, we knew it was so discriminatory and we had to get a human rights barrister to take on the government in the highest court in the land. We had the backing of Liberty and Child Poverty Action. We won, not just for us but for thousands of others in a similar situation. Unfortunately I now am eligible to pay it.
2 Likes
Truly I know how sad this feels. My husband’s was sudden death at work, unexpected and such a shock I had a meltdown, my Son still struggling massively too, he’s only 32 and it’s affecting his Life. The pain doesn’t get easier, harder as time goes on but I’m trying to find a way to survive as I’ve 3 grandchildren too and a daughter and son! So I’ve people around, I wish you had too. I’m so lost some days with out my husband, I have No Words to help your pain, just keep chatting on here! Phone helplines for a chat too! It’s horrid feeling this way ! I hope you find a way to get through the days . Xx
1 Like