We are here for you jean big hugs
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I know some dayās harder than others arent they ? Its good to cry and let it all out though - even though its sad xx x its not fair is it 
i cant believe my hubby gone either - its just so overwhelming at times . God bless xx
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Thank you all for your hugs and support. Iāve calmed a little now but I donāt know how much longer I can cope with this pain. I feel like Iām going backwards and itās getting harder rather than easier.
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I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation. The hospital care my late( oh how difficult that is to say) husband received was shocking. He ended up in a hospice but they didnāt tell me when he died until 4 am. He died alone. That upsets me so very much.
Shaune.
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@Moi1 and @Shaune You are not alone with the failures of the health professionals. There are stories on other threads here. Mine is on I lost my husband to Covid along with similar stories. This trauma only makes the loss harder to bear. Love and support.
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I know i was trying to explain it to my friend ā¦ its almost like a physical pain isnt it ? I cant sleep tonight thinking of my hubby. You just miss them dont you and that love you had for each other ;( 
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That is beautiful and so true. Thank you for posting it.
Peace and love, Karen
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It is a gnawing feeling every morning when I wake up and face another day without my precious husband. Itās an emptiness, hollow feeling. I come out to the kitchen, make coffee then think ok, now what. We loved having our morning coffee together, one of the sweet times we enjoyed in retirement. Damn Alzheimer, why did you take him from me!!
Peace and love, Karen
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@Karetired What you describe I call being hit by the Never Hammer. Never going to see her, never going to touch her, never going to hear her, never anything again. Just the pain of never. Perhaps that is the definition of grief. Love and hugs.
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Yes Mike75. I am just existing, not living. I stopped living the day my sweetheart died. My husbands motto was we have to move forward. It is not possible without him. What a miserable journey.
Karen
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Hello. Your words resonate with me I too wake up every morning longing for that cuppa and those precious .moments we spent together before the day started. Now thereās just that heavy lunp in the pit of my stomach and a deep sense of loss. I hate waking up feeling this way the house feels so empty and I feel so alone. Itry to keep busy and fill my day but those first moments when you wake up and realise yet again that they have gone are the worst. Take care all of you x
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@Jean8 I think thatās really hard, youāve worked so hard & seem to be moving slightly forward then you hit the brick wall, just like a game of snakes and ladders you are back at the bottom, thinking is it worth it? I donāt know about you, but when this happens I feel such a failure. There is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it, but ride the waves, brush ourselves off and start again. Up until a couple of weeks ago I was completely on my own, but (and I hope youāll agree) knowing you lot are here for support means a lot xxx
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Everyone hit nailed it. The never hammer is spot on as with surviving not living, we are certainly just existing. Anybody who hasnāt been threw this will never understand the pain, until they have to live threw it. What was important then means nothing now & the little things, cups of tea, hugs ect are such a miss (I canāt articulate how much I miss them) Big hug xxx
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Morning @Sulane. Feeling a little more stable than I did last night. You are so right. Nobody can even imagine what this is like if theyāve not been through it. When that grief wave hits itās completely overwhelming until you feel youāll drown. Itās definitely the little things and youāre right, this site had been a Godsend. I have a wonderful, big family who have been so supportive but they are also suffering from their own heartbreak and have spouses and families to care for and jobs to go to. Love to everyone. Jean.
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I totally agree with everyone. Itās been 6 months and 10 days since my life ended. Yes, we all exist but stopped living.
The āNeverā quotes from @Mike75 is so, so true. Itās the finality of this situation, the never ending pain, longing, missing and sheer devastation, it is indeed never ending.
We didnāt do Valentines, I never got the whole thing! However, my Martin would do āNon-Valentineā he was funny like that; a non valentines card etc. Oh, how I miss that.
The past week has been really tough for me. I spend most of my time alone, I WFH, so donāt have any reason to leave my house, I have my shopping delivered, I really do feel my world has stopped spinning.
I do read messages of hope on this Forum, I suppose thatās all we have.
Sending love to you all xā¤ļø
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@Dottie72 i too was like you thinking is this it. Spending time alone is a real sole killer, as our brain isnāt our friend. wish i had a grief teleporter which could bring us all together, so we could have human contact. I do go shopping but the irony is i travel over 15 miles to a super market where I feel the vibe is right , try to make it a bit of adventure - know I sad but i look for crumbs of joy. Love and hugs.
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I was exactly the same this morning xx
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Thats ok allen ā¦ u do what makes you happy xx
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I feel your painā¦
Although, I wish I could do that! I went once to Asda, never again. All I could see were happy couples, I felt physically sick, Iāve never been back.
I know I should venture out, but I just canāt. I feel so lost and alone without him. He was my safe place, now thatās gone, itās a cold cruel empty world.
Sending a big hugā¦ xx
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Its such a shame we cant all meet up
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