I know it does seem like a cold world without them doesnt it … so cold …i just go shopping … straight in and out xx
3 Likes
@Jean8 I am so glad you are feeling a little better. It’s like a roller coaster, please take care of yourself xxx
I find I need to go to places where I feel safe, I used to be strong now I feel as scared as a kitten at times. I love your outlook and will also look for crumbs of you. One day at a time, big hug xxx
Im the same shopping, try to keep time to a minimum. I was never a list person so I do end up going up and down the aisles but its so hard. He used to love shopping, more than me. He did all the cooking, what a great cook he was, could make amazing dinners from nothing. I just eat microwave meals for one now. I hate going anywhere and like others, I used to be assertive, strong and not scared of speaking up but now, I am constantly sad and I am not the person I was before. I just want to stay in and do nothing. Just watch TV and eat, thats what I do. We used to love going abroad and weekend breaks at home but now I could never face going on a plane or anywhere for that matter. Its just not fair. Only slight comfort is knowing that we all feel the same as we are going through it. I see only darkness, no light. Take care all xx
5 Likes
@Moi1 you’re post could have been written by me. I do very little now other than watch telly, eat and a bit of housework. I see my family a lot but it’s only a temporary reprieve. I’m right back to endless darkness when they’re gone. I just want to go with him. I don’t want to stay in this miserable existence. Love to you all. Jean.
4 Likes
Jean8. Yep, count me in that narrative too. My soft, safe place to land is gone. It’s torture. I have forgotten what happiness and joy feel like. Like many, I am home most of the time, except for errands and my grief group that meets once a week. My beloved husband loved our home and backyard. As a result I do my best to keep everything in the best shape I can. My sister-in-law told me she hates to see me so sad, well that is my life now as for all of you. I don’t live anywhere near family nor did we have children. Always just the 2 of us and we adored each other. I know life goes on, but one thing I am absolutely sure of is that life will never be the same. Impossible for it to be. The pain will never go away, just wish the sharp jabbing edges would subside. I do know he is worth every year I have shed, and like all of you there are many, over and over again.
Love and peace, Karen
6 Likes
Hi i feel my safe place has gone even though my husband was really ill he always looked out for me and i feel lost and alone without him
2 Likes
Exactly the same x
1 Like
And me , no enjoyment in any second of the day , what’s the point ? Why is there even life anyway ?
3 Likes
What life? I feel I’m just taking up room now. Just waiting to go with him.
3 Likes
Me too xx can’t have funeral till 3 rd march because Irish family want mass , then celebration of life ( my bit ) , then I can decide what to do xx
1 Like
Thats a long time to wait for a funeral. I decided to visit my husband in his coffin. Wasnt sure but I wanted to see him one last time. I read him a letter and put it in beside him along with some other items and notes. I so wanted to jump in beside him.
3 Likes
I have also visited him and I am going again tomorrow to kiss him and say goodbye but i will see him soon , I’ve written him a letter and left photos but it’s not enough I can’t cope with the pain or the physical missing of him xxx take care all of you xx
3 Likes
I kissed him too and my tears were on his face so he had a bit of me with him on his journey. I dont know what it is about this forum but I say things I have never even told my family. Thinking of you tomorrow Martju when you are with your love x
3 Likes
I’ve got a hideous song stuck in my head that’s making me cry endlessly. How can I get it out?
1 Like
I was once told that if you cant get rid of a song in your head you should try singing happy birthday instead. Supposed to help! Worth a try. X
2 Likes
@Jean8 this post could of been written by me. Its kind of reassuring that we all have these similar feelings on this crappy roller coaster. Watch tele, eat soup (thats all i can manage still) and walk my new dog, hes brought me alot of comfort in only one week, i truly believe my gorgeous hubby sent him. I see family and friends and pretend im ok, put a mask on and smile during the conversations then return to the darkness. Ive asked him many times “take me with you”. I dont want to be in this world without him. Whats the point…
4 Likes