Hello i know how you feel i lost my dad two weeks ago he passed of a heart attack.its hard my mums struggling and i want her too get some help but inguess shell donit in her own time. Xx
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Me persona
Me personally i find keeping busy helps i have got a knew job nearly and i am very excited. Good news is good and helps you think positive.
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Yes i too lodt my husband in december , sadly ! Its been a terruble time fore too and i have been all over the place. You need to find friends who show empathy not people who try to shut you up !!! You talk about your husband as much as u want and if they dont like it i dont think theyre really friends tbh.
I recently bought a book called language of loss by sasha bates ! It was brilliant how she descrbes her feelings after losing her husband ! You should try read it. You can order from whsmiths xxx
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If you wanna talk im a goor listener and i will read it it sounds good. Xx
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Thanks 
ive done a lot of talking on this chat room. Its really helped me understand that im not alone with my feelings xxx
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It is a good book !! Defo worth reading - she tells of her struggles to come to terms with her beloved husbands sudden passing ! It really resonated to me cos i struggled so much too - still do ! Just not as raw now x
@Deb5 I think thatās it, we can talk in this chat room because we know we are all in the same boat and (a big and!) we can talk when we want to/need to. Kind regards xxx
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Thanks ! I agree xxx
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Hi Mike
I understand your description of the happy road that we seem to have been swept ,to grief,loneliness ,fear the unknown path going to goodness knows where
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@19Lefke95 Life is unpredictable and surreal. I walked the same physical path today I walked with my wife last August just before she went into hospital. She was tired so we sat on a memorial bench and read the sad plaques and looked at the sea. Today I took the same path and sat on the memorial bench I have had put there and read the plaque I had made for her and looked at the sea. (See Memorials thread). In my wildest nightmares I would never have dreamed that scenario last August. So we can only take each day as it comes now and deal with the grief as a part of our new reality. We have no choice. Love and hugs xx
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Oh yeh , completely agree ! I was just the same ! Hubby started being poorly and took him to a&e on 30th july last year ā¦ poorlier than we realised and the drs started off so positive and in the end they wouldnt treat him ā¦ said it had spread and the chemo may kill him due to his medical background ! But in the end the cancer did ! And i canāt believe im all alone without him now ! And its awful innit ! Theres only my puppy and my mum really that keeps me going 
rest of my stupid family are useless ! you miss them so much though donāt you ? I cant believe hes gone really after 35 years of loving marriage 
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Your poor mum ā¦ i know how she feels ! She will be devastated like me at losing her husband ! Be kind to her ! In the end thatās all we really need is kindness and compassion ā¦ x
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I am still a bit muddled with technology and donāt know how to go to memorial thread
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Me tooā¦ dunno how to do that ? X
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@19Lefke95 and @Deb5. Go to Losing a Partner home page which lists all the topics. Then scroll down till you find Memorials. You can get to home page below Other topics at the end of the thread you are on.
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I donāt think I replied to your message correctly I was asking for info how to go to memorial thread
Thank you Ann
Hi Mike just seen you message thank you
Ann
Iām a bit up this thread now , and I feel for ever single one of you and not that Iād want anyone to feel this pain itās good to know itās normal and others go through utter hell , I had 2 funerals same day for my partner because his family were from Southern Ireland so we had a 30 min mass at their request ( not his wishes ) and a celebration of life in the chapel of rest at his wishes , I did the full arrangements with help from my sons ( his family requested abc but did nothing ) they turned up , changed the bearers , I was to shaky to care , then his ex wife ( didnāt let me know ) but stayed in our area for 2 days post 2 funerals and his son messaged me 12 hours before his cremation which was a 5 min walk by for me to say him and his mum ( ex wife of 20 years ) woyjd be there , Iāve put up with her coming over from Ireland no notice to visit him in hospice and call a priest , asking me to leave room in my own house so her and her sons could have a photo with him , heās been my soulmate for 16 years and because I said I didnāt want her there at last 5 mins ( our pact , mine and marts ) they are disgusted with me and gave told me itās with a heavy heart we leave him with you . I have also sent 5 pouches of his ashes to Ireland but due to all previous strikes they doubted me so Iāve sent ref number , he and I canāt rest in peace Iām sick of the anxiety , sadness and pain . I want to go to be with him , but my mums still here and I look after her I canāt do it to her . Ex wife of 20 years , why ??? Only one son from 4 turned up at crem . Plus myself and my sons and brother and wife paid for 2 funerals , I thought catholics were meant to be kind !! Not in my book anymore , he woyjd be beside himself for me if he had a voice xxx how sad can life get , grief is awful xx
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Oh @Martju
You have been through so much with all this and have done everything you could to accommodate their wishes. I admire you for doing so. Take a deep breath and know that you did it.
Sending hugs
Karen xxx
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