Grief is awful i agree ! … just ignore her from now on if you can !!! Silly woman !! You take care of yourself its gonna take time xx
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When my mother died suddenly when I was in my 20s, the Irish Catholic contingency appeared. My mother was at rest in our dining room. The caring Catholic relatives told me that if I didn’t view her before the coffin was sealed that she would never rest in peace. No I didn’t go and see her, and I never saw any of the Catholic contingency again.
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Ha !! Charming !! X
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5 months tomorrow, i just cant believe the time has gone past yet it seems a lifetime since i talked to him.
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Just over 3 months for me 
i was just saying to my cousin the other day … i miss talking to him … its tough isnt it not talking to the person you loved so much … i used to love our chats about nothing in particular … just trivial stuff like what we having for tea etc now its just crappy meals for one ! I dont even feel like cooking just for myself
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@Martju This has been really awful for you and I know from your posts how this has upset you, but you have done so well Martin would be proud of you. You can now grieve without this distraction and your strength will help you deal with the overwhelming emotions and pain of your loss. Love and support xx
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Like said, we are all in hell, it’s so very hard, we are in a club we didn’t ask to be in & never wanted to be in, you just want to go back to your old life but that is never going to happen. Things that were important aren’t now, what ever it is, from plans for the future, even down to meals. I don’t want to cook any more (don’t/can’t as it sometimes seems such a chore) plus the oven is so big with just one meal in it, though I did buy an airfryer and have gone from soups to ready meals (I will get to cooking from scratch, but it’s too painful yet) plus as I said in early thread I find it difficult to eat. I was a size 16 when Mark died, now I’m an 8. At the beginning I struggled with a couple of spoonfuls of soup, a quarter of a sandwich, but I know you have to eat (I felt guilty eating when Mark wouldn’t ever enjoy a meal again stupid I know, but you can’t help what your brain tells you!) Personally I got over that by joining the local spa and swimming (when I saw I count my lengths and consenting the counting stops my brain going to places I don’t want it to go) then I have a cup of tea and I have made some wonderful friends, so for an hour or two I have company also but for me to be able to do this I must eat!! What I am trying to say is we all have to find what works for us.
Take care everyone, baby steps, Great big hug to you all xxx
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Thanks Mike75
I seem to have gone into a slump the last few weeks. Ive stopped going out much and feel in a bit of a daze. It feels like its getting worse. Is that normal?
Jx
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Just keep being kind to yourself - its a big trauma - for us all on here qnd yeh my mum said that to me last night… baby steps - so true xx
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@JaneD I think it is what happens to all of us at some time because it is one day at a time and sometimes one step forward and two steps back, especially when we hit milestones or when we are exhausted. If there is a normal for us in grief, I would say this is part of it. As we always say to each other, be kind to yourself, look after yourself. Love and hugs xx
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@JaneD
I would say that ANYTHING is normal. We have enough to worry about without worrying whether our feelings are normal, although there is no telling our brains what they should worry about sadly.
I’m having a slump too. The nutritionist I see did say she wanted to see me at 11 months as that can be a difficult time. I don’t know whether that became a self fulfilling prophecy but I certainly had a few bad days during the last week.
I think we have to accept that there will be bad times in between more peaceful ones for a long time to come.
Hugs
Karen xxx
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@KarenF Thinking of you in this time. April is a big month for you and it’s nearly here. You are there for us, we are there for you. I know Richard is looking at you and is proud. Love and hugs as always. xx
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I have been lower than low its 6 months yesterday that Zeki died and I am still devastated.My counsellor is trying to help me as I was grieving ,in terror before he died and since and the trauma of the day he died.I have cried so much I now have severe vertigo .I feel very unstable like I am on a ship in bad weather .I live alone so am trying very hard to take care and not fall down .Yesterday I read all the posts to get strength.
Thank you xx
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@19Lefke95 This is so hard for you. You are alone and vertigo is difficult to deal with. I hope you find counselling useful and start to find some peace. Have you thought any more about a plaque for Zeki? 6 months sounds a long time but for all of us it is not. I’m 5 months and it sometimes seems like yesterday I was with her holding her hand and laughing as we walked, then it seems like an eternity or even an unreal other existence. Thinking of you. Love hugs xx
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I have been reading a lot of posts this morning. The suffering of our grief is palpable. It will be 8 mos on April 5 that my precious beloved husband died. Some said that the past life we had almost seems like a dream. I feel that way too, was it real? I have been so sad and heartbroken. The last few years of his Alzheimer’s haunt me.
Our nephew (husbands sisters son) is getting married in a few months. When I found out I panicked. The thought of making airline reservations, packing having to see everyone was more than I could manage. But a few weeks have past and I have made the decision to go. The thought of doing this event without my husband just makes me break down. He would want me to do what I feel best doing. I don’t feel best doing anything. I guess my reason for going is to represent him. We always went to family events and my fondest memory was watching him laugh and enjoy his siblings. This is going to be a huge challenge for me. I have already heard “good for you, a step forward”. No I feel it is a commitment I need to do. Emotionally I am not sure I am ready for this. Time will tell. I read something that really says it all. The outside world only sees the tip of the iceberg of grief. I am sure we overwhelming agree.
Peace and love, Karen
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@Karetired
I know what you mean, sort of. My sisters want me to go away in June, just for seven days . They are suggesting Spain as the flight is short and it’s not too far away. My last holiday with Ron was last June and that was when he first began to get ill. I have been away without him in the past and it was fine but I now have no confidence at all and I feel afraid.
On my good days I think, yes, I will enjoy it but on my bad days I can’t even imagine going anywhere let alone abroad.
It is five months since Ron passed so I still feel very vunerable at times. I wish I could say yes though.
I do hope it all goes well for you when the time comes and you
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Sorry, pressed send too soon. @Karetired
I hope it goes well for you when the time comes. You will make your husband proud.
Sendi love