@Martju You have done really well. You have stood up for yourself and your loved one and proved you are a fighter. He would be so proud. You can now concentrate on yourself without these awful people on your back. No one can promise the grief will get ‘better’. It will always be part of our lives. You have proven your strength and however down you may get it will keep you in living one day at a time. Love hugs xx
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@Deb5
I say exactly the same as you, it could be me speaking apart from the fact that I have nochildren.
It is so unfair, especially when there are so many evil people about who never seem to get ill and live to 100.
Sending you a hug xx
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The reason it hurts so much is that we have felt and experienced such love, I would not want to live to be 100 and never experience love or have been loved. For that I remain so thankful. xxxxx
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@sandi
Yes, very true. It does make you wonder though why the good people always get taken before their time.
Like you say, we are the lucky ones, even though we don’t feel we are at the moment . We all have had true love and been with our soulmates, so many never have love like that.
Xxx
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I know its ironic isnt it that all the horrible people are left and the lovely ones go 
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Yeh but he was too young ! He had just had his 60th birthday and my parenrs are still alive at 83 and it shouldve been them not him … life is so unfair … i used to tell him that in hospital when he was too weak to walk and i had push him in a wheelchair !!!
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Dogs are wonderful therapy and companionship ! I just bought a puppy few weeks after my husbands funeral cos i couldnt stand it in my house alone …
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I know it feels so unfair @Deb5 my mum is 93 and still full of life, she has her own perspective on life and death because of her age. I do find myself getting a bit irritated when she says ’ I don’t know why I’m still here, or when she has appointments in a few month’s time she always caveats it with ’ if I’m still here’ which really rubs at the moment. My dog gives me such comfort too, he seems to know, and sits in my husbands spot on the sofa next to me. He would never do that before. He is also so excited when I return home which helps with the pain of returning to an empty house I also leave the radio on as that helps with the quietness when you open the door. We just have to try these things and find which ones helps a little. xxx
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I was aimlessly reading articles on the computer the other day and the question was what is the first thing family do when a loved one dies. The answer argue over their belongings. How true x
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I know i do try things … its just i miss him so much !!! It hurts !!! I loved our time together and i hate that ive lost that ! I love my puppy ! Shes so cute but i miss the human companionship too 
i mean dogs cant talk can they its the lonliness that gets me ! i know people but its not the same as your darling husband is it … nothing is the.same as that deep deep.love you have with them:(
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Yep !!! Thats true 
or what the should have ! Huh !!
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I think when we lose our partner, it is such more more than losing one person, they were our best friend, constant companion, lover, co-parent, etc. and no one person is ever going to be able to fill the space of all the roles they filled particularly the space left in our heart xx
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Yeh i agree ! Its so massive isnt it !!! I dont like it ! I dont like it at all !!! but people are so selfish too these days !!! They dont care that you lost love of your life !
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I feel my life has no meaning without him. The hurt and pain of loss is physical I was wondering if anyone has gone to see a spiritualist and if so did anything happen? My hubby didn’t like/didn’t believe in stuff like that and I’m the same (to a degree). Just wondered if it’s a waste of time and just upset me more ?
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I’m planning to book with a medium , been buying books and reading , has to be more than just this crap life , I believe there’s something more out there , I’m a nurse and been with many patients as they die , always a special feeling around . It can’t just be this existence, I can’t see the harm in trying . Personally I couldn’t be in any more pain than I am so I’m going to give it a go x
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I think I just needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you. X
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@Martju
You asked whether it improves - in my experience it can be less all consuming after a while. We are all different and I am lucky that I have my daughter who still needs me so I’m aware that makes a big difference compared to those who live alone. I think the thing she gives me mostly is purpose. I know others have said that for them a pet, usually a dog, gives them a reason to do things. I think that hollow feeling in the morning can be lessened if you have another reason to get up and get on with something rather than the empty day stretching ahead of you. It may not be helpful to everyone but it is for me.
I admire what you did in messaging Martin’s brother. Far better that he knows how you feel admire what happened and all you had to prepare and arrange. You certainly did Martin proud.
Love Karen xxx
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Thankyou , we have a 4 year old rescue dog , so I do have to get up everyday to walk him . I needed to tell his family because I felt they thought I was his carer and he was on loan from them ( although he’s been with me in wales for 16 years ) . They aren’t communicating execpt waiting for the 5 pouches of his ashes I’ve sent them , but in a tiny way it’s helped me . I felt I was still fighting for him !!! I’m his voice now xx this grief thing is another world entirely for us all , but sometimes I’m glad it’s me having this pain not Martin ( but at the same time I wish it wasn’t any of us ) . Find it difficult seeing couples out and about , especially if they are older than me 57 and mart 58 . Hope we all get some good hours , days xx
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Even in the bible it says theres a life after death … i believe there is … i believe our spirit goes somewhere … but we don’t know where or what or how ? I agree with mol1 it would upset me more i am only just taking it all in …
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It does very slowly improve tbh … but I think morning’s are hard cos u remember you used to wake-up with.them next to you
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