Hi kel 2 i am in very similsr position as you regarding complaints too. I emailed my MP too and yeh it is a quicker process. We also are having an investigation too ! Its terrible that we have to do all this in this day and age ! You cant believe it can you but i been told that a lot of prople are complainibg so we are not alone at least ! And so we damn well should ! These were our precious husbands/ partners who we loved to death. Am glad people power is getting through ! Thats some reassurance at least !!!
We paid our stamp for this shambles !! ( national insurance )
3 Likes
Thankyou do much for your kindness xx
Ahhh bless youā¦its such a horrible thing to have to experienceā¦im glad i came actoos this site its been comforting 
knowing there are ladies feeling the same pain and Iām not aloneā¦God bless all of you and impraying we all get thru this xx
3 Likes
Hi Deb 5,
I agree, it is terrible that we are having to do this, it is bad enough losing our husbandās/partners without the added stress knowing the healthcare failed them.
Complaints and investigations need to be made, itās the only way for them to face to the lack of care and mistakes they make in the hope they improve their attitude and actually provide the care that is their job. Would be interesting if it was their family member.
If itās an inconvenience to do their job appropriately then they should reconsider their positions rather than disregard the patient and their families.
More so itās awful how they treat the immediate family at their most vulnerable and weakest moment.
1 Like
Yeh and they dont tell you anything either until its too late ! We are the families and we have every right to know what is going on !! The communicatiin is terrible ! You have to complain just to get any answers !
Its an outdated NHS which so badly needs updating and modernising !!! And they need to treat families with the respect they deserve !!! X
1 Like
Hi
I feel the same
My beautiful husband was 66 when he passed away from covid. He was a fit man and the virus did that to him before we had vaccines.
It is traumatic and like you we were looking forward to our retirement and then this happened.
It is unbearable and yet we do show have to bear it.
I wish it had been me not him. I pray every day that I wonāt wake up again.it is nearly two years and I still wake up with dread. Life is so cruel. We did not deserve this. Glad we all have others to vent to. Xx
1 Like
You know when you say you wished it was you not him, I thought that, then thought, no, I would have hated for him to be going threw this unbearable pain.
2 Likes
Sulane - you are right, me too exactly what I thought. 21 weeks later and still the pain is so raw and I have no reason for living and just want to be with him. Its so hard.
2 Likes
I agree. I wouldnāt want him to go through what Iām going through right now.
I do wish however that I couldāve gone with him
2 Likes
Me too, for sure. X
2 Likes
I know you just dont wanna wake up do you ! I cant even sleep half the time ! Im constantly thinking of him ā¦ i wish my brain would switch off so i donāt have to think about it anymore !!! Does the pain ever go ? Guess its not as hard as first few weeks but still its very hard having a life without that man in your life to love and cherish u ! Dont get it really why we have to go through all this ? Especially in this day and age where nobody cares about anybody ! Makes it so much harder to bear !!! Being in a world of me, me, me !!
1 Like
I wasnāt sure which post to ask this on ā¦ Friend related, or more so his āso calledā friends. Iām really p****d!! ā¦ wondering if Iām wrong in my thoughts?
There are 2 āso calledā best friends. One (I met a clue times - looks like Penfold from Danger Mouse)
This āPenfoldā apparently part of the SAS, been involved in some high end missions - BUT: 1) never came to our wedding (that doesnāt bother me.)
2 & Most important DIDNāT COME TO.HIS FUNERAL??? excuse before service by weeks āreally want to be there, I donāt driveā
Not heard F-All since! - so an apparent ābest friendā who was in the armed services, more so āSASā canāt travel a few miles to his ābest Friendsā funeral?? - heard F-All since he canāt drive!!
The worst - best man at wedding!! (Not a fan of mine from beginning ā¦ hubby thought the ground this guy walked on was gold - to give you a visual image: have you seen the ābugā dig that looks like heās wearing skinny jeans? - thatās him - a knob)
back story -.he &.hubby had a packed of not dating eachothers exā
When this friend was going through a divorce (didnāt seem to affect him much) hubby was phoning daily & when he/ we could go. Saw him -( these are the odd days we were apart: friend over 180 miles away, if needed after hubby shift will go,)
When.hubby had initial depression issues - Friend: nothing? Hubby called, didnāt answer, I call when.hubby bad - if friend answered heāll be okā?
We were in touch with hubbys first love - I liked her a lot,trust him & understand him keeping friendship. Because of distance & limited time meeting - they by all acounts got together a while back & found out just over a year of hubby passing, when hubby was on the worst depression heās had - friend knew this, excuse: āyou can date my ex-wife?ā
WTF?!
I did try to rationalise thatbshe is an ex (hubby never dissed us, he & rightly some was, 1) best friends donāt do that 2) more so the first lovevwhich had been brought up numerous times - the fruend never hunted nor apologised.
Hubbybdud actually in the deep depression try to take his life - friend: nothing.
Hubby came out if the depression around the December before passing, tried numerous tes to
āapologiseā for his actions to āfriendā - nothing (friend never acknowledged his errors)
As hubby became ill last year - I did via FB messenger notify both the so called friend & ex of hubbys illness etc - nothing!
The day I was told he wouldnāt see āChristmasā I phi ed the āexā via FB as friend blocked me. Said, he wonāt see Christmas, he had tied to
Apologise (at that point I didnāt say both were wrong) but even though not talking I thought āfriendā should know if he wants to see hubby to tryaje amends before he passed.
Nothing. Hubby passed 2 days later - I posted on FB
The āfriendā messaged: sorry about your loss, Iāll remember our good times. He was like a brother to me"
WTF?
I politely, If he was ālime a brotherā to you, you would have made contact with him, that he was welcome to pay his respects at the service -.gave full details - Nothing!!!
Am I wrong to be angry at these people?!
1 Like
You are not wrong to be angry at those who let you down and grief will drive this anger. Anger is negative though. I prefer to just delete these so called friends from my life from now on and think of them no more and channel my emotions into love for my lost partner of 50 years and those who now need me and do have time for me. Why waste time and energy on the others? Theyāre not worth it.
5 Likes
we probably all can relate to similar scenarios with so called friends (and family too for that matter), āif you need anything just call meā, etc etc. Waste of time but I quite enjoy pressing the block button or unfollow button and just close these people out of my life. Their loss is what I say, not mine. Concentrate on the good people around you. I know its annoying and I have felt anger and above all, just disappointment and how my husband would have felt knowing these so called friends are not actually here for me now. However, Mike75 is right, dont waste any more energy on them,
xx
4 Likes
Thank you, and you are rightā¦ For me itās weird because i dont expect anything less from my āfriendā fold- I know and always have known Iām the go to/will always be there friend (still am & will be)ā¦ without expecting the same in return.
Hubby ā¦ He has always been there their for his friends, finished a 12 hour shift& straight travelled 3hrs to check on themā¦ them - no āvideo callā nothing? So called SAS idiot? - that annoys me!! - he thought they were friends?
I hurt more for him & his so called friends ?
On the opposite aspect - he had people travel miles to his service that he hasnāt seen in years but he had an impact on, people overseas checking on me, still now the overseas check on me, so called ābest friendsā - nothing!
I will keep them on āFBā until our anniversary (April) just so they can see my tribute to him - then theyāre gone. Nothing to me.
Itās him Iām suffering for - me, couldnāt care - I know on my own, donāt have a friend to loom at the way he did these two.
Thatās what hurts x
2 Likes
You are right.
Is it wrong that those I can rely on are here?
I have here and my ducks - they have been amazing. Had cuddles this morning, will be bringing them in soon for more
I canāt t
hank everyone here enough for your support cx
3 Likes
So do I. Take care & take one day at a time xxx
Iām nearly 6 months in and just hit a brick wall, very hard, you feel you may just be making a tiny bit of head way but oh no your back at the beginning. Itās never ending, I was just talking to someone & she said at least 2-3 years! Someone else told me (both these people are 9 years on from the love of their lives dying) that as time goes on you may go a day, a week, a month, 6 months but it still hits you. I hate that feeling even though you know they are not here, when you get that pain and realisation that you will never ever see/hear/feel them again. Why is your brain so cruel? Itās like it thinks letās just hurt her more as if youāre not hurting enough. Take care xxx
7 Likes
Yeh the pain is truly crippling isnt it ? Guess we just have to keep being kind to ourselves and do lots and lots of self care doing what we love and helps us relax ā¦ like baths or showers or listening to music ā¦ x
2 Likes
Hi @Sulane. I know exactly what you mean. I had one of those realisations this evening. It is literally like being kicked in the stomach. Iām so sorry for you loss and I just wish I could wave a magic wand and give everyone on here some peace xx.
2 Likes