My Husband was a big Chelsea fan he had a big Chelsea pillow and i put my arm around that and say good night love you Alan
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I cant go to the east cosst at moment because thst was the last place i took him when he got his terminal dagnosis in nov 2022 and it breaks my heart ;(
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Im the same Deb5, cant go to places we went together, far too painful. I cant even watch the programmes we used to enjoy or listen to music we both enjoyed. Just cant trust myself not to have a meltdown.
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That is the same for me if I go out it must not be anywhere Frances and I visited. One step at the time try and go to a place that you both never visited, I have been to a new place it was hard, I cried but did it!
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I just try not to go out too much ā¦ not really that interested tbh ā¦ x
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I get you exactly Deb5. I can barely manage a supermarket shop as all I can see are his favourite foods and latterly the only foods he could manage, soup, yoghurt, milk shakes etc. Breaks my heart every time and I am usually a blubbering wreck by the time i get to checkout and I dont even know what Ive bought.
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@Mike75 nothing is daft if it helps.
Yes, going places we went together is hard and yes, I still see food he would have liked and almost go to buy it. I live 12 miles from a supermarket and always did online food shopping for the main shop so still do for me and my daughter which is easier but I still havenāt deleted āhisā things from my favourites list. Seems too final.
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They say try to get out BUT that is easy said than done. Believe me I have tried to do that , thank the lord for my children (55, and 52). They take dad out which helps me, but I do not impose on them, they have there own lives. Next big hurdle for me is 14; Feb always bought a card but thatās the day last year the hospital said no hope. So will be an extra emotional day.
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Aw ā¦ so many triggers arent there 
stay strong if you can and try remember the happy valentines days instead ā¦ i was thinking sbout that ! Im gonna ignore it if i can x
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To everyone who has posted on this subject.Thankyou so much i thought i was going madā¦Chris died Sep 2020 and i still feel absolutely awful the mornings are overwhelming and the strange thing is i only feel āsafeā after 11pm itās as if the world has shut down for the time being and i donāt have to face people ā¦I am still just putting one foot infront of another 34 years together i suppose needs some getting over.I read these posts daily and reply infrequently so that needs to change.Thankyou people for sharing
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Hi Deborah
Yes we are all going through it, all have similar things going on. I was married 55 years less ten days and I think I will never move on, which will be a broken promise to Frances, as we both said to each other we would live our life to the full, thatās easy said than done. Please keep posting my experience is that it helps me to get things off my mind.
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Thankyou luvā¦I appreciate what you have written
Itās not easy, and itās made hard the way our cruel brains work like you say checking to see if heās there. Stay strong, weāll be there for each other xxx
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Deborah1, I find some days are extra hard, the days that arenāt as bad, I try to help but you canāt always be strong, you have just got to do what you can, when you can. Be kind to yourself & remember we are here for each other. Big hug xxx
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Carl2242, Hopefully one day you will be able to, but that day is not here yet, please donāt beat yourself up. Thatās the good thing we can keep posting as often as we need, when weāre down hopefully someone will be able to offer a tiny amount of comfort. I was in a really really dark place a couple of weeks ago and am so glad I found this, itās certainly helped me. Big hug xxx
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Allan2: Hope it goes well at work, I find nights are hard & I know what you mean however vanilla programs you are watching you can guarantee there is always something that triggers a memory. I hope with time we will be able to help each other. Take care xxx
Thankyou Sulaneā¦I appreciate your kind words and virtual hug
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Weāve just got to help each other. When we are strong offer words of comfort, and when weāre not ask for help. I have just started a new conversation called Helping Each Other I donāt know if itās going to work but someone was saying how hard they found evenings and I thought if we could give suggestions as well as ask for advice on something we are struggling with.
I
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(Hadnāt finish message!)
I know not every suggestion will help everyone but if it can offer some form of comfort to even one person, itās worth it.
xxx
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Hello . Like you I find Iām ok in the evenings and I can go to bed ok but as soon as I open my eyes in the morning I feel sick and anxious and those feelings stay with me for most of the morningā¦ Chris died in 2021 and I miss him more as each day passes Take care all of you x
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