Its horrible isnt it ? You wake up in morning and as soon as i open my eyes i remember 
hes not here - my little darling … and usually i cry
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It’s so hard. Big hug xxx
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Hi Deb’s
Morning
yes it is a real strain to move in the morning for me as well. Big hugs
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Im the same although going upstairs alone is bad too but its the realisation in the morning as you say and it upsets more than anything. Knowing you cant make plans even for the day and oh how I would just love him to make me breakfast or a cup of tea once more. He would say “tea for two” and I would say “two for tea”. Im so sad.
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@Moi1 i am sad for you as well as it is these very special little moments which mean the absolute world as you both looked into each others eyes. These are the tough moments to battle through but glad we have this site to express our intermate thoughts. Crying with you. 
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Thank you. I cry a river every day. Just want him back xx
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My tears are all spent I sob but no tears come. This 2nd year feels so much harder wirhout him somehow. I try to keep busy but motivating myself in the morning is an uphill struggle . Really value this site and those people on it x
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@Moi1 i too like you have had no one else in my life as we too were school sweethearts at 15years old and i knew at the time i wouldn’t need anyone else in my life. like magpies one pairing for ever. it is so hard went the person was at your side and had your back through all life’s ups and downs. i practiced the mantra “Happy wife Happy life”. i hope like me the crying become less as this is so debilitating, sending virtual hugs
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Thank you. It helps knowing that others understand how you feel without ypu having to say a lot. Take care
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Its truly awful. We knew each other aged 15 and were friends until we suddenly realised that we could be more and it was true love with us getting married both aged 26 and that lasted for 32 years until he left this world. We did everything together including a business which I have had to wind down and has been particularly problematic and having to deal with it myself. People still contact me for jobs not knowing he has gone and I have to relive it. I have never felt so lonely, so sad and just go through the motions. I hate my life but this site and the regular text messages from the sue ryder grief counselling service does help. Thoughts are with everyone going through this desperate journey. I just want to reach the end. xxx
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Yeh i was thinking about that today ! No more cups of tea in the morning … he always made me a cup of tea when i got up in the morning when he was well … i dont understand why this had to happen to me … i loved him so much its not fair to lose the one you love is it … why is life so cruel ? Why is it so unfair ? All im left with is a useless family who dont give a monkeys and only care about their own lives … jeez will i get through this ? I dunno tbh i really dont …
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Deb’s
You will get through this one small step at the time. Your grief stays the same your life builds a round it. More good memories will surface in time. We are all here for you.
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Thanks carl … thats kind 
@Deb5 yes as carl says life experiences stop the grief button from being on all the time. i am truly sorry your family are not there for you, but can i say you do have an extended family here who are hear to listen and provide a virtual hand when things seem dark.
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@Moi1 same with me and Linda we were married at 30 when our baby daughter was born. At this point we had both lost a family member her farther and my mum both died when we were both 25 yrs old they died weeks apart. it was my love and devotion to Linda which made the passing of my mum (who was my best friend) possible to bear. My mum died of cancer and had it for most of my life (in and out of hospital) but when i met Linda she told me she could die knowing Linda would support me. Makes me cry even now thinking about it and that is over 34 years ago.! I nearly lost Linda a few times (birth of our daughter she was in intensive care for 3weeks and through covid) but she pulled through. We both lost our other parents in 2007 again i lost my farther and she lost her mum which was really hard for my Linda, but again we both supported each other through these hideous losses. As i am the last in my line i have been reaching out and found this site provides a means to cope when i am having a downer with the death of my wife/best friend.
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@Sulane
I can’t find that conversation ‘Helping each other,’ I do find this site difficult to navigate at times.
Don’t know if you can add a link to conversations or not but bill keep looking for it.
Thanks. x
Sorry not sure how to send a link, but I put helping each other in search bar at top and it came up (it was about 5 or 6 down when I tried to find it this way) xxx
Allan2: It’s so hard, I wish I could give you a hug (sending a virtual one to you as it’s best I can do) Take care xxx