Hello all - the celebrity vi
car ‘Richard COLEMAN’ wrote a book called the Madness of Grief. I have’nt read it but the title says a lot . I would not go out in the sun because my sons loved the sun. That sounds a bit mad to me but it’s what I felt at the time. I watch some of their favourite programmes on TV at the mo.ent because I can tell them it’s on and were going to watch it together. Sounds a bit mad to me. I am aware of the fact so just accept it as okay. Some days I am totally numb and soothe myself with all the wrong food and I hardly feel anything at all. Other days the full force of the loss is so grotesque I can hardly breathe and the grief is overwhelming . I was invited to a friends anniversary party this afternoon. I did not go because if anyone asks about the boys I cry. I am one of those people whose nose runs as soon as start crying and I look a mess in in two mins flat. I suppose we are all different in our grief although there are some similarities. Teddy when you see Gp he can give you a/d as they treat the anxiety too. It need only be for a short period of time, and it sounds as if you are suffering . I think if it is a sudden death like Daniel and Adrian there is a layer of trauma some people say it feels like PTSD
Oops But it is temporary .It is mainly shows itself as anxiety fear and panic which I experience. You know Teddy you went away and your son died and that is big. I Feel for us all on here. Reading about the gardening and meditation feels calming and freeing. Love you you all.
Jenna that is so true.My daughter was poorly 6 months but I didn’t expect her to die nobody said Shes dying.But my Sister daughter went out and never came home.That was over 20 years ago and I can remember her going through exactly the same .But she was diagnosed with ptsd. And got the appropriate help.She said you never stop grieving the loss of a child you learn to live alongside it and its kinder.
Hi jenna kath and teddy . Theres another topic on this site just read some .its calleed lost son at 27 . But its lots of lady who have lost girls and boys but some been here few years . And they totaly understand. How old was your boys jenna xx
ZOE - my boys well men Were
42 and 43 I had three sons by the time I was 20 and we were very closely bonded . Jonny had come back to live at home after relationship breakdown because of his illness. ADRIAN I Ssaw every day . I left my husband when I was pregnant t
with jonny so we kind of all grew up together . Christian is my oldest surviving sons . T hey are still my beautiful men, boys and babies xx
Oh jenna its so so sad this bloody life that is so very cruel im so sorry .its just a wicked world .it dont matter they are our babys . Im so sorry this world not very good with helping people with problems …this time last year my sam went in the hospice to get out of pain . We stayed for few weeks i never dreamt sam would only live till 27 th april .he died in his sleep in our front room .i had spoke to him at 3 15. And the night before he talked all about when he was little and happy times . He took all the pillows away he must of known he was brave and amazing i awoke at 8 and i new as soon as i looked at him he was gone this wicked shit world . The kindest superhero .he didnt deserve it .hes whole life ahead of him .the tears wont stop tonight its all so wrong love zoe xx
So, so sad !! Yep this is a cruel world does make you wonder what is the point of it . You carry these beautiful babies give birth look after them and then they are taken away from you !!! Nothing can prepare you for this . How oh how do you carry on !! Oh I don’t know . Love to all you lovely ladies xxxxx
It is not fair. I think most of the time I feel as if I am accepting of Adrian death as it is 6 months but then I Am
Ack to day 1 Again and again. I have a very good GP who I am able to talk to every two weeks .when I spoke to her last week she said that I had to grieve them as I dividuals - she did not tell me how to do that .It still feels like one devastating loss with a mixture of emotions memories all mixed up . Today I woke up crying hot tears - and I was cross be cause I never dream much about the boys- but I dreamt about being back in work and trying to solve problems. I Wandered whether I could see it as a nudge towards more activity and more positive distraction What do you think wise women?
I think you should go with your gut reaction and your feelings. They do say that you get signs so maybe this dream was to help you . Xxx It’s just so difficult to make sense as to what has happened to all of us . I have had a awful today non stop crying !
Go with your feelings.only you will know whether it’s the right time to move a step forward.perhaps the dream was trying to tell you something.Do take comfort from that.I have only had one dream about my daughter .And it was really vivid she came through lightening and appeared as a angel.since then I have had a plume feather ring bought from a friend with a lovely poem about an angel.So perhaps our dreams have meanings .
Sorry it’s a bad day its such a horrible loss for you and I have no answers myself . THe crying is supposed to release endorphins and they are supposed to be good for you? I do not know what I feel this evening back to the missing a d the wandering . I am going to try to go to the library tomorrow believe me that’s a buggy for me . Love to uxx
KATH - that is a very clear and lovely dream. And a lovely gift too. My sister bought me this lovely little pink angel early on. I Lost it have no recollection of where it went, I will have to have a look for it now , thanks
Thank god another day off hell nearly down . I have decided I am going to paint my balcony tomorrow and put some nice plants outside . Got the idea from you lovely ladies . Xx
Hi ladys
Been thinking about you throughout the day .
Jenna your dream so real …only you know when the time us right to return to work .its massive and overwhelming …take your time your know when time…
Everyday a hard day . The sunshine was lovely .be nice for you Teddy to plant something i got sam a patio rose .it will give you something to do for a little while . …
Kath your dream was amazing .i would love to dream about sam .everyones different in there believes.
i believe in robins feathers.my daughter has had two real dreams about sam . And he has told her dont worry im ok.it gave her and me comfort.
My sam loved david Attenborough .i bought him his new book last xmas …well i went with my friend to a chalet in feb . She always goes. When we got there .the david Attenborough book was out on the side . The owner has quite a few books . I said ive not seen that one when we came before . I smiled and thought of sam .well last week the owner emailed my friend and said she had left the book .he had never seen it before . Is that a sign . Its crazy but made me feel sam was there with me . Also a butterfly came out of the kitchen . In feb mad … .you just hang on .coz you need them so much . To have a hug a chat i am sitting in sams room with his hat on aftershave and my feet in his trainers .its just so hard .i send you all a hug and strengh much love zoe
