I lost my son 5 weeks ago

Hi Teddy - Sorry you are feeling so sad and a little bit angry. I think you are brave to say it as it is. This big loss leaves such a big hole full of pain, loss and god knows such a lot of different emotions. These feelings well for me anyway are constantly changing. I was shocked the other day before my mini Breakdown I had found myself screaming and shouting at the boys pictures and telling them I was angry with them for leaving me with all this pain and turmoil . The whole thing is so exhausting. Teddy I hope you get to Ireland and find some comfort there love x

Hi Jenna , thanks god your kind words !! Yep really struggling honestly just feel like rrrrr to much . And Iā€™m sorry no one completely understands unless you are going through it . Crap life

Teddy - yes it is, it is, it is, for nowxxxx

It sure is , you know what you sort of think your in control then bang hits you like a ton of bricks

Then bang your back in that dark sad and very lonely place . Hod I miss my baby if only we all had a magic wand !!

Yes so do I and everyone else in the same position I expect.
I have taken to napping ever
Day from 2-4. I find that it calms me down and stops the adrenalin cursing through my body , I wake up a bit calmer somehow, funny thing is D
ay sleeping seems to lack dreams which is good .EVery day I want them back I think it will take a long time for me to realise that they are not coming back. How would I .?
There is a book out there
About grief calledā€™ 'carrying a load that cannot be held" I might get it as some kind of support .I would go on the counselling list they told me it would be 12 weeks but it was only 7 weeks so you never k now. At least itā€™s something concrete and can help you order your thoughts . What did the Queen famously say ā€œgrief is the price you pay for loveā€ and a better one from someone else " grief is love with nowhere to go". This is another day for us allxx

I think that darling we all need one a magic wandā€¦ just cruel people dont get it how could they we have knifes in our hearts .x

Yes I honestly think you canā€™t even put into words how you feel .I think it gets harder as time goes on and each day just becomes harder . You know what I might see if I can get the book . Xxx thank you lovely ladies always nice to be able to speak openly without being judged . Xxx

Teddy - Look up Megan Devine xxxx

I will thanks Jenna

Never judged on here .ive been sitting up every night cant sleep . Im really worn out . .

Thatā€™s not good , sleep deprivation is another crap thing to try and deal with !!! Do hope you managed to nod off xxxxx

Hi Jenna I just ordered tgst book you recommended. Thanks for heads up xxxx

Hi Zoe I think thereā€™s nothing worse than not being able to sleep.The saying is itā€™s darkest before the dawn. Thereā€™s nothing worse than being alone with your own head.I suggest a few things that help me although we are all different.Try lavender spray and mindfulness and there is one or 2 sleep apps.Although I realise the only real thing that will help is for everything to be as it was.So we have to take each day as it comes and get through it best we can.Sending a virtual Hug.

Thatā€™s it we have to take each day and night how it comes . I just want to be left alone sadly people are annoying me because the conversation always starts ā€˜ how you ā€˜ well what do you answer to that . Feel I always think about other peoples feelings and honestly I just want to be left alone . This is me tucked up and thatā€™s it xxxx

Morning ladies , big hugs xxxxx

Morning teddy i have the worst cough . What a yuk day big hugs x

Me too! Canā€™t shift what I have personally think I have a chest infection . Trying to talk to a GP is a nightmare . Called at 8.00 this morning still waiting . Hugs to all the ladies xxxxx

Look after that cough Zoe xxxxx

And you darling xx doc hopeless i had councillin but cancelled it . Going over it all . Id rather come on here xx