I know it’s so cruel and unnatural to even think off life without them . Just not right that a parent should have to go through this shit . We have all been robbed of our special babies and it’s so unfair . Big hugs xxxxx
But honestly just keep using this platform , there is always someone there at the other end . Xxxx
Thank you…I had been reading all your posts and knew that you would understand. People try to help but they don’t fully understand the pain of losing your child…and your best friend. I don’t want to sound too self pitying and just run on about my loss but it’s good to feel I can.
Thank you xxxx
You k ow what they really don’t . People really are coming from a good place but sometimes it does more harm then good or even people you think are going to be there for you just talk crap . And your grief is yours alone and when people start comparing us very frustrating too or start focusing on their pain . All I can say is take literally one minute at a time . Big hugs xxxx As I said there is always support on here and if you want to scream shout this is the place to do it we are all here for each other . Xx
Hello al, Zoe hoping b\party went as well as it could for you all. I am aware that Sam 1st anniversary coming up soon .Am thinking of you and family throughout the next few days x Suedav , am so sorry for the terrible loss of your son . It sounds as if you had a great relationship and friendship which does not happen that often . You also had the joy of a shared hobby, a store of happy memories to sustain you later on. I am aware that these are very early days for you with the funeral yet to come.It sounds
as if your boy was well loved in the community as well as at home so let that sustain you for now .You mentioned the pain that you are experiencing that your boy is missing out so much on the sunshine and that sort of pain is I well know excruciating. I felt the same way when I woke up on Good Friday with the sun shining through.My boys would have been going down the Abbey with their girlfriends and dogs and just basking in the sun. It is so so sad for all of us to have these thoughts and I do understand how you feel. The ladies on the site who are all very lovely, caring and big hearted and have helped me a great deal. Accept all the good support that is offered to you and I believe the ‘one minute’ ,
‘one hour’ , ‘one day’ at a time that I believe our 'woman of great insight and compassion, ‘Purple’ , brings to us when we need it. In my thoughts Jx
Hi Teddy,Zoe,Jenna
I’m just reading through some of your messages. Knowing you all understand this horrendous pain of losing an adult child. I find the same as you Teddy…mornings are the worst. It just hits you…they aren’t here anymore, it can’t be true but it IS! Evenings I feel a but calmer, maybe having cried and talked about Andrew all day really has helped.
We have his funeral tomorrow. So many people will be there…it seems he was loved by so many and yet he was totally unaware of it. He was in such a dark place 4 years ago…then amazingly was able to sort his life out and actually start enjoying it. I feel that the past 4 years have been the happiest of his adult life but he should have had at least another 50.
Sorry…I’m starting to sob again. I do feel having you all to talk to might well be the lifeline I need. Thank you all
Love to you all…Sue xx
Thank you Purple for your lovely message…Sue xxx
Hi Suedav I will be thinking of you tommorow at your boys funeral.When it was my daughters we didn’t have a religious service because that’s not what she was about.It was comforting to see so many people pay there respect.And I hope you find a crumb of comfort at your boys…Big hugs and you will be in my thoughts.
Thank you Kath4,
No Andrews service will be non religious too. We’ve never been religious. The funeral director is reading out Andrews tribute…I wrote it myself and hope I’ve done Andrew proud. Because we loved our detecting so much the starting music…when Andrew arrives…is the theme music to The Detectorists by Johnny Flynn…We both absolutely loved that series. I even have it as my ringtone on my mobile which is silent these days as Andrew was the only one who used to ring me…most days. I miss him so much.
Love and hugs Sue xxx
I know what you mean about mornings being the worst. When my daughter died in January I was absolutely beyond myself with grief, especially first thing when I woke. I wanted to shout from the rooftops ‘my daughters dead, how can it be true’. Its really harder to deal with than anything in my life before. It seems wrong that she died at 39. The funeral was painful but I got through it and you will too. I think it’s really true what lots of people say on here, which is take it a day or an hour at a time. Don’t expect too much of yourself, you are doing well if you can just keep on as best you can right now.
I send you my thoughts and respect and a hug xxxxx
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Hi sue i am so sorry you have had to join this very sad club .really sorry for your loss . You will do your son proud tomorrow .dont worry about anyone just you .you really are in extreme shock right now .this bloody wicked world …
I was so close to my boy sam he was just 25 in march his first anniversary is next wednesday 27 th . . He lived at home .very quite boy never went out only to his sister .she was 30 yesterday so its been very emotional .i too have been in bits today this time last year and what sam went through .is there a god .do i believe .all i can say sue .this site has been my life line .you can say anything night or day you will always get an answer .small steps sue .sending you big hugs much love zoe 
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Hi Jenna jess had a lovely birthday .she enjoyed her party .then we went out for afternoon tea yesterday.with friends . Today been on a massive comedown .and a memory came up on my phone of sam i didnt reliaze how awful he looked so thin my beautiful boy .its just so wrong he never moaned he never said this bloody cancer. Four months he was gone . Im sorry its such early days for you . I try to imagine .this life jenna is cruel and bloody wicked . Try walk in the sunshine darling thinking of you xx
Hi Teddy how you doing how you feeling about going back to work you can but try .Daniel would be very proud of you .sending you big hugs xx
Jess and me at her party
Sam when he was beautiful sam
Sam jess and her kids sam just found out then xxxx
Thank you Zoe9 for your lovely, thoughtful message. I hope I won’t let Andrew down tomorrow…I’m worried that the finality of it will really hit home though and I’ll pass out or be physically sick. Well…that’s how I feel tonight.
It is a cruel world…our children should still be here enjoying life with years and years ahead of them. I always thought the world , Norfolk at least, was a beautiful place. We would drive along to go to our metal detecting and both comment on the amazing countryside and how lucky we were to live here. I shall miss sharing that with him but I really hope that one day I’ll be able to appreciate it again…without crying.
So now I must try to sleep…ready to face tomorrow 
Try and sleep my thoughts are with you big hugs zoe xx
Big hugs suedav xxxxxx
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Lovely pictures Zoe , hard to believe how quickly your life can just change . As I have said many times how the hell do we all go on and what is the point . This is the hardest thing I’d imagine all of us are going through . I have a councillor session on Tuesday but to be totally honest not to sure if I am ready , I’m not really dealing with things and to this day can’t believe my beautiful son has gone and I’m never going to see him again . My body is just full off boxes and I just can’t deal with it . One off my daughters is quiet open and I find this very difficult but I have to respect her as this is the way she is dealing with her grief . All my kids were very close . Xxxx Any advice ladies ? Xxxxx
Sending you my thoughts. X
Lovely memories Zoe.Teddy when my daughter died I was there at the end along with my hubby and Grandson who is 24.It wasn’t good the end of life care and at the end we had to pick my Grandson off the floor because he’d collapsed.He had such a close bond with his Mum.My other Son is really vocal in his grief and I think that’s good.But it’s me I feel I have to hold it together for everybody.I think I am a much older mum I am in my 70s and I only tell on here and never talk to any family because I don’t want to upset them.I miss my daughter so much we talked every day and we also had our difference of opinion but I loved her unconditionally and has you all know it leaves a massive hole in your life.