You do that, and make sure you get the help you need xx
Yes I will xxxx
Jenna itās so sad you are estranged from your family.Igrew up in a family of 7andI had a fantastic childhood .Thereās only mecand my sister left now and we are so close.Shes been a great comfort to me .I am not a believer in any religion.But I like to think my Louise is being looked after by my Mum and Dad and my siblings.I know not every family is the same but if it gives you a crumb of comfort I think you have done fantastic and your boys and you have something to be proud of. Xxx
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Thank you Kath, kind commentXxxxx
Hi ladys dont think you reliaze its such early days .your going through ptsd. Its all a terrible shock .and Teddy you need the doctor on your side . I was shocked when you said you was going yo work . Like you say youve not coped with the world outside .life is hard . And you jenna coping bring up your children get all the financial help uou can . Anne nell sue thinking of you all feel very sad .a photo a song .smell of aftershave i want the real deal need a sam hug x
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Yes your right Zoe definitely went back to soon I just felt under pressure . Xxxx
I know now that I canāt manage it , I have a meeting with my manager on Tuesday to see if I can work part time but Iām writing this message and thinking what am I doing .
Think I just need to speak to GP but Iām scared
Always been a bad decision maker . Oh I donāt know feel like crap today all too much pressure from every angle xxx
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Dont be scared you will cry anyway coz your so down explain your doing nothing wrong
Thank you for your kind thoughts Zoe.
Love 
and hugs š« Ann xx
Donāt be scared Teddy.
Your life is important too.
Love and hugs š« Ann xx
Morning Teddy - hope you got some sleep. Iāve been thinking about you. You deserve kindness and understanding and support. It is worth seeing your doctor (making a simple appointment is now stressful in itself!) and tell him how you are feeling, no need to dress it up. Tell him the truth. There is a dire lack of services so he might not be able to help there but he might offer medication. My doctor gave me antidepressants (took ages to work but I can sleep better and donāt feel quite as shit) he also gave me Propronalol which is a beta blocker and you can take it for one off events that you find stressful. I wasnāt keen to take anything but I also couldnāt function at that point so I felt it was worth a try. Itās worth at least discussing when you see your GPā¦ itās the GPs job to help you. Whatever you decide about work itās worth considering some medication and remembering reaching out for help is a sign of wisdom. Usually antidepressants take 2-4 weeks to work so they might help you find that you can try again at work. When you are ready. Itās no miracle cure but for me it has helped my sleep pattern and I had galloping anxiety. I still feel bloody awful but I am getting out to the shops and able to think more calmly, some of the time. Really I suppose Iām saying itās worth considering medication and talking about it with your GP. Your GP is there to help you. Iām sending you hugs Teddy. X
Thank you so much , yes I just feel I canāt do this no more just so bloody hard . I know Iām definitely not ready before work and have made the decision not to go back . Too hard being around people that just donāt get me just pretending to be normal when Iām just dying inside . When I went back to work on Monday , My sons friend traveled far to walk me to work I met one of my work colleagues who have confided in . She showed me and my sons friend a photo of herself with her three sons well you could have put a knife in my heart . Iām sure she didnāt mean anything but really !! Then itās oh it will get easier my beautiful baby died in December !!
I get what you say about people just saying the wrong things. It hurts. They donāt understand. Plus generally speaking people donāt talk about death, so most of us donāt get much experience of how to talk thoughtfully when someone is experiencing the worst kind of pain and loss. It can feel like a minefield doing anything outside when everyone else appears to be doing ok, when we are in the midst of such powerful and all encompassing grief. You gave work a try but you arenāt ready yet. Easy to say I know but try to just get through a day at a time and be gentle with your expectations. It really is early days. More hugs xx
I totally agree with you , no Iām most definitely not ready !! But I suppose I gave it a go to my own deprecation !! I have come to the conclusion that I just canāt do as Iām not mentally , emotionally physically able for that shit . Thank you so much all you lovely ladies xxxx
Going to call GP in the morning and tell him how Iām feeling xxxx
Teddy - good to hear that you are going to speak to GP. I think Nell said it all really no need to add to it. Yes you were brave to try to go back to work but know you need to switch course and get some help and support.I am thinking of you and all of us who have lost our boys and girls on this May Day xxxxxxxxx
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Lovely words Jenna xxxx
Yes no guilt in asking for help ā¦ive been on antidepressants for years when sam died .doctor upped them .and gave me sleeping tablets .dont think would of coped with out them . Sending you all love and hugs xx