Hi Jenna if I’m being totally honest , I really try and block things out , I just feel I can’t cope thinking about things . I know I’m not dealing with things and just find it more manageable I know I’m suppressing so much but hey this is my way of dealing with things . Think I’m still in shock and just can’t believe this has happened. Xxxx
Yes Teddy I understand .I think I am probably doing a bit of that. I think I probably need to stop thinking so much about these things - and let things be. Thanks xxxx
Jenna I am the same .I keep expecting a phone call from my daughter.Or even expecting to see her come through the door.I know she’s not coming back but I think there’s a bit of denial going on.Its been 3 months and sometimes it seems so unreal.I have a good Husband who’s grieving too.We talk all the time and cry our tears it helps.
Dear Jenna
I understand how you feel- you’re not going mad…
Whilst I really understand and accept Henry has gone…there’s a small part of me that thinks it’s all a terrible mistake and he’ll ring me!! How does that even make sense…it’s like I can’t quite totally believe it??
I’ve a strong belief the soul continues so perhaps the part that doesn’t believe it, knows he’s gone on?
I don’t know but I know everything is normal in grief.
I’m sure you’re still in shock 
losing two children…it’s absolutely horrendous…
Sending you love
Purple
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Jenna, you are not mad, you are still in shock and suffering the worst pain and sadness there is.
As Zoe says, it’s a roller coaster, sometimes you just can’t believe what’s happened, it’s too unbearable, it’s all a dream and you’ll wake up, and on and on round and round in your mind.
My days are up and down, but today is not good, exactly 8 weeks since Katherine left us.
But we can still send each other love 
and hugs 🫂
Ann xx
Hi ladys your loss is all so new . No answers to every question .year on and i feel .im waiting waiting but its not happening .sam has really gone .but it cant be real .i have a million unanswered questions .need answers .lifes so hard .we have this big gap .and we all need our babys .its such a wicked world .sam had openheart surgery when born he got through all that .but he got taken anyway . We all just want to hug them .love to you all . Baby steps .look after yourselfs xx
Thank you brave wonderful womenxxxxx
Hi Jenna - like you, I wish I could just let things be. I get it with my head that, awful though it is, the fact is my daughters gone. But my heart can’t/won’t accept. I went to a friends funeral yesterday and it opened up the raw grief that was just ever so slightly abating. At the wake my friends sons partner was making sandwiches in the kitchen with her mum. I thought ‘you don’t know how lucky you are having your daughter right there beside you’. I’m not proud of it but I felt jealous and lonely. Over the last week I have had a few moments of respite when, feels like for the first time since it happened, I was able to think about the wider world. As soon as I got home I was back to the coulds and shoulds and resentment at the unfairness and the sheer bloody pain. I guess that’s how it is going to be. My head tells me that I’m beginning to start to learn to cope, at least to the outside world, and that’s good enough right now. My heart tells me there’s no way I can ever get over this and it’s right in front of me forever and I will yearn for her for the rest of my life. Both those things are true so I’m pulled in both directions. This grief is so tiring and literally heart breaking. I don’t think there’s a way round it, I just have to go through it. I’m a very long way from acceptance, but I can see that it can’t be rushed. It’s like being on the worst journey of my life and it’s unchartered territory and I haven’t got a map and the weather is awful and there’s obstacles all along the way. Somehow I’m looking for peace within myself, whilst feeling that letting go of that pain is somehow wrong and I would be deserting my daughter. My head says ‘accept what you can’t change’ and my heart says ‘no way’. I guess if I ever get to learn some acceptance it will be when I get that balance right for me. It won’t be quick and it will always hurt but maybe, just maybe over time I will get some measure of acceptance. All of us on here deserve some peace from what feels like relentless yearning. It does help a bit knowing that people on here understand from their own experience. Losing somebody you brought into the world, full of hope for them, is just devastating.
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Morning ladies , such heart felt words and so to the point and true . That is exactly how we all feel . We are all on this horrific journey of the unknown all we do know is that we have lost our baby’s and my god it is so painful to the point you can’t put it into words . Life without them is just to hard to bare !! Another crap day ready for war . Xxxx
Morning ladies , wishing you all some sort of peaceful day even though life is crap . What to do , I just don’t know !! Xxxx big hugs to all xxx
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Morning Teddy and all,
Yes…another day if heartbreak to endure. It’s such a beautiful day too…hot already and sunny with clear blue sky.
I’m sitting in garden with a coffee missing Andrew so much.
Just heard neighbour pulling her bin back in…Andrew used to pull bin over to block space between house and garage before letting Ash loose to run round garden.
It’s hard to enjoy anything when everything reminds me of him.
I’ve always been a person who would feel like I was bursting with happiness when everything is so beautiful but now it just leaves a hollow ache inside me.
I still appreciate the beauty of the day but instead of making me happy it just makes me cry.
Hope simeone, somewhere is having a better day.
Love and hugs Sue xxx
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Xxxxxxx, so , so sad
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Its so hard . Early days . The sadness takes over most of the time but our boys wouldnt want us to be so sad xx
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It’s those things like the bins that get to you.
I’ve been feeling fairly ok, really believing that Katherine is in a good place, and that I’ll go to join her before too long, but this morning I had cereal for breakfast and was putting some raisins on it and found a packet of raisins and a packet of sultanas that Kath’s husband had given me because he wouldn’t use them.
The last time they were used SHE had used them. She was still here then, just a few weeks ago. She had bought them at Asda, had opened them and used them. Doing ordinary things that are gone for ever. So now the tears are here again.
Love and hugs Ann xx
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Oh Ann,
It really is all so painful isn’t it?
I actually work in Asda…nights but I’m off “sick” for the foreseeable future. Even if or when I go back it won’t be easy as Andrew often used to pop in for a few groceries when I was working, give me a big hug and pretend he was asking for something so we could have a little chat and wander round.
Every part of my life included him even though we lived in separate homes.
I’m having such a bad day today I really feel like my heart will break in two. My head aches from crying so much.
Sue xxxxx
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My Grandson is a Journalist for our local paper.I was in bits this morning when I saw he had front page lead.My daughter was so proud of him and knowing she will miss out on everything he does in the future. She used to be so excited when he made the front page headlines.It breaks my heart.Love to all .
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Love and hugs to all you lovely ladies, and wishing you hope and comfort and strength to honour our beloved children xxxx Ann
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Omg what a life just can’t stop crying today ! What is it all about , I know this is a awful thing to say but if it wasn’t for my other children and grandchildren I honestly think I’d just throw the towel in and be done with this awful cruel world . Oh I don’t know as I have said many times it just gets harder ! It’s like your living a double life pretending. Xxx
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Thats so true the smile face then indoors on my own .its madness .its not real .like your waiting for something thats not going to happen …then we wait for signs such a sad sick world taking our children . We have to carry on .for everyone . And the sad thing one life and all that. Theres no answers and for many so raw . Im sure we learn a different way .my sam is with me every min . I wish i had a magic wand xx
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This is the thing Zoe there is no magic word just torture everyday !! The thing is I have to be strong for my children ad their grieving and if I fall down they will all follow. Xxxx
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