Hi Teddy, believe it or not I had 4 almost good days in a row! Me and my boyfriend went out to dinner last night first time out in a sit down public setting and I was anxious about going, but it turned out good. I woke this morning with the heaviness of the heart it seems like that happens every Saturday I’m wondering if it is because Saturday was the day that my daughter died also tomorrow is her birthday, so the weekend probably is not going to be good. I am happy though that I had four good days in a row that tells me that I just might be coming out of the dark. Hope everything is going good for you and I hope you have a good time tonight.
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Thank you ! Yes let’s see how it goes . I have been on antidepressants and anxiety tablets for a month now it seems to be helping with the shakes in the morning but I do get that heavy heart . Glad you have had some respite xxxxxx
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Hi Teddy and Racy,
I haven’t felt much like posting for a few days…feeling a bit down.
I’m glad you’ve had a few good days Racy…any reprieve from the sadness has to be a good thing. Good luck for your sons gig tonight Teddy…I hope once you get there your anxiety disappears and you can enjoy it.
I’m just feeling low as today was the day we should have gone on holiday with Andrew and Ash…and the weather is perfect. In fact the forecast for the whole week is glorious so I can’t help thinking what a lovely time we all would have had.
Wishing you both a “good” day today
Love and hugs…Sue xxx
Hi Anne I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling kind of down. I understand because I am feeling kind of down today and tomorrow will probably be worse because it’s Theo’s birthday. I don’t think I will be feeling any better the rest of the day or tomorrow, I hope I am wrong but I don’t think I am. I hope your mood lifts sending hugs. Racy.
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So sad for all of us life is just so hard and unbearable just hard to even think about things . I lost my son in December and if I’m being totally honest it was just like yesterday ! Time is going by but sadly we are all suffering such great pain . And we will never be the same people ever again . My grandson said I look so sad and I am … xxxx
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Hi Teddy Racey and Sue.I have had a good couple of days.I met my sister in town for coffee even browsed around the shops ,without panicking and wanting to run home.Racey it was my daughters birthday end of May and the build up was worse than the actual day.But hey I survived it.Sue I wish you some peace this week.I don’t k ow anybody that’s lost a loved doesn’t think about what might have been.Teddy enjoy your gig.Once you are there it will be OK you’ll see.Big warm Hugs each one of you.
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Thanks Kath xxx I’m going so that’s a start ! Let’s see how it goes ! But I’m getting pretty anxious just thinking about it just being around so many people but it has to be done have to support my son his worked so hard xxxx
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Thank you Kath yes I hope it won’t be as bad as I’m anticipating.
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Hi Sue that message I sent to Ann was meant for you sorry
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It might be easier than you think, and worst scenario could be you struggle. Either way you’ve achieved something by going with a good heart for your boy and pushing through the anxiety. Positive stuff. Sending best wishes for you and your son tonight xx
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Hi ladys
Thinking of you all .its so hard sun shining and our children are not here . The pain is always there . But we have to learn this new way to survive. They would hate to see us so sad …
I hope Teddy you was ok tonight welldone. Thinking of you all sending my love xxxx x
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So right Zoe, it really is hard. It’s such a beautiful day and as I’ve already said Andrew and Ash would have been on holiday with us this week. So as I sit in my garden looking at that blue sky it’s making me cry thinking if how things should have been. I just can’t believe this has happened…it’s so wrong. I’m trying so hard to still find beauty in everything but although I can it just makes me sad instead of happy.
I hope this sunshine is helping warm the hearts of you all
Love Sue xxxx
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So sorry for everyone’s heartache. Wish I could mend everything, but we just have to find our way with the awful new reality.
Much love to everyone
Ann xxx
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Hi ladies , thank you all for your lovely messages xx yes it went ok last night my sons band were brilliant and he was so happy I was there . Xxx even had a few drinks . Xx
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Glad it went well, I was thinking about you. You deserve to enjoy yourself and another step in the right direction. Sending hugs.
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Thanks Nell , felt quite weird actually getting dressed up and putting a bit of make up on . But yes I done it I honestly think you build a wall up inside to be able to cope xxxx
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I am so happy for you teddy you did it ! It probably felt a little uncomfortable as my first outing did, but I felt so good that I did it afterwards. You’re getting closer to that light at the end of the tunnel.
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Kath you were right the build-up to Theo’s birthday was worse than the actual day today. I sang Happy Birthday to his picture this morning and shed a few tears, I thought I would be crying the whole day but I haven’t been,. Maybe I’m moving more towards acceptance then I was before.
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Well done Teddy and Racy for getting through your 2 events and coming out smiling ( I hope). Just a few moments of light each day is such a bonus compared to the first few weeks. I’ve been to the coast for a few hours and it felt good to be out…we weren’t around too many people so it was manageable. Maybe the sunshine worked it’s magic after all.
Love to all…Sue xxxx
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So true that just a little bit of light is such a huge relief! Love to all xxx
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